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Hello, and thank you for reading this. My name is Kris and I am a mother of 3. Our oldest dd is 9 and she is our only birth child. We are also foster parents and have adopted 2 children over the years. Our younger dd is 4 and our son is 2.5. We really feel as though our family isn't finished yet and we are looking into domestic newborn adoption of an AA male. We haven't "officially" started the process, but I find myself wondering if anyone would choose a family that already has 3 kids. Our appointment to get things started is in a few weeks.
When we adopted our other 2 children, it was such a different situation. We did not become foster parents to adopt. Our baby girl came to us at 4 months old and became free for adoption 2 years later. At that point, she was just ours. We were hers and she was ours and I couldn't have sent her away if I had wanted to. Our son was much the same. His poor, sweet momma was so young and he was her third. She was also a former foster child. When he was born, she wanted to place him with an agency at birth, but no families in a 3 state area wanted to take him because of his pre-natal exposures, so he was placed with us as his foster parents. All she wanted for him was a family with a mom and a dad. That is literally all that she asked for. I picked him up from the hospital. The minute I saw him I knew that he was mine and my dh couldn't have fallen harder or faster in love with him, too.
We have had 24 foster children over the years and have loved each one of them and grieved when they left. I am sure that we would eventually adopt again if we continued fostering, but we are getting older and would like to concentrate on our kids, now. We just know that there is still a little someone out there for us. I am just afraid of spending all of this money that really should be going into college funds and that no one would pick us. I am sorry to ramble on and will stop, now. You should send me a bill for your services as a therapist if you have actually finished this. :thanks: Any insight that you have would be greatly appreciated.
Kris
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My DD ended up being an only child (she's only 2 but her Mom doesn't have plans to adopt again) and I actually would have preferred her to have siblings, but like Peachy, I didn't select her Mom.
Having said that, I am VERY happy with her Mom and everything else - I just grew up in a very large family and would have liked that for Cupcake. :)
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I chose, but the families I had to chose from were all childless..
If I had found a family that had children ,
I would havegiven it serious thought,
and probably leaned towards that family
to me, family is so important....
as it was, I picked a family with a large,
close knit extended famiky..
aunts, uncles, cousins
grandparents, etc......
Thank you so much for all of the replies. I really appreciate them. It is encourageing to me to know that we have a chance. I know that not all moms will want us for many reasons beyond the fact that we have children. I'm also glad to know that not all will overlook us just because of it.
My son's bmom almost DIDN'T pick us because we didn't have other children. As it turns out, that situation was remedied astoundingly quickly after our son was born. :eek:
Another anecdote: Some friends of ours waited about 18 months to adopt their second child, and they were told that their comparatively long wait was because they already had a child in the home. But when they were on the third adoption, they matched within 2 months.
You just never know.
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