Can anyone help? I need advice.

so the problem is that we are on our 3rd caseworker sorry in advance.. this will end up being long. since last August. This guy over steps his authority, threatens me. tells me that I have to do whatever he says or I am not complying. Examples: Its FD's 3rd birthday the end of the month, we had a birthday party and everything planned, we were told yesterday that the father has decided that he wants to have a bd party for her on the same day. So we are supposed to either have her party after that one (the time they say is 10 am to 3 pm) or a different day either before or after her birthday. The reason its an issue is that it was planned, we go all out for all the kids and since she is treated like one of the family we did the same for her, invites have gone out and everything. the father has never done anything for any of the holidays since we have had her so we planned for her birthday. Its court ordered that the father has to call 1 hr in advance and get to the visitation place 1/2 hr prior to us getting there(to make sure he will show) we receive the call 30-60 mins before the visitation is to take place to know for sure he has showed up. Now all of a sudden they tell us that they arent going to call unless the father specifically calls and says he isnt coming. I am told that I shouldnt have a problem with that; because I told them I was tired of always being the bad guy and having to tell FD that there wont be a visit after I have woken her up and taken her there and we sit there for 20 mins waiting and he never shows. It doesnt matter I have to do this and not have an issue or I am not complying is what I am told. We had visits set for every monday 10-12 so I cleared mondays so I could make sure to have FD there for all visits, then 8 months into it the caseworker decided that he will move the visits to tuesday and thursdays 9:30 to 11:30. without even saying anything to me at all, so after a bunch of shuffleing things around I clear tues and thurs mornings so I can get her to the visits, then yesterday he calls me and tells me that he wants a visit today (friday) from 11-1 even though I tell him that I have other plans because I just picked up my neice and she will be staying with us until saturday night. He says FD isnt part of those plans is she. I said yeah she is I am not going to be leaving her at home by herself and taking the other kids and doing stuff. I just got back from taking FD to that visit, after waiting for 8 mins the caseworker pulls up behind me in a station wagon and says that he is going to take FD to a different place for the visit, then I find out he did this last month also. the caseworker came to my house on march 23 for a home visit, he would pick up FD and put her all the way on his lap hold her there and bounce her on his legs, when she tried to get down he held her tighter, I had to say come here FD to get him to let her go. me and husband are looking at eachother like what the heck?Then she was jumping a little on the couch and I told her to not jump and said when we get the new furniture you cant be jumping on it, he reaches over grabs FD my her legs and pulls her down, she just got wide eyed and came to me. then he tells FD that he wants to see her bedroom, I get up to show him and he acts like I am doing something wrong, like I shouldnt go with him. you have to walk through my bedroom to get to FD's room and I was told my all the other caseworkers, licensor etc.. that I am to accompany them to FD's room because they are walking through my personal space.anyways after he gets in there he tries to have a conversation with FD who is busy doing her own thing so he comes out of the bedroom and sits back on the couch grabs FD again and does the bouncing thing again, By this time I am trying to get FD away from him and doing something else (i want to tell him to get out but I cant without getting into trouble) so then FD wants a cup of water so I get her some they dont drink in the living room but I let her because I dont want her to have one of her big crying meltdowns, he says he is going to leave and walks over to the door so anyway i let her take it to the couch, she is just sitting there playing with the cup and ends of spilling it all over the floor and starts crying really loud, I get up and start to wipe up the mess and tell her its ok, the caseworker steps back in shuts the door and runs over to FD and tells her "oh it ok, she will get you more dont worry about it its ok" I just look at him likes he's crazy. then he sits back down and starts talking to FD then tells her oh lets go look at your room 1 more time, this time when I get up to walk in there with him he gives me a look so I sit in the chair that is straight across my room so I can see into her bedroom and tell my husband to go to the other door in the kitchen and listen to what he says to her, he is in there telling her that if she ever needs him or wants him to comeover to call him, if she needs anything at all to call him and gives her his business card, she runs out of her room with the card and says mommy i got a card! I am waiting for him to tell me that the card is for me that it has all of his numbers on it in case I need to reach him but no he says yeah I gave FD a card so if she ever needs to call me she can. then looks at FD and says call me sometime. I look at him and say yeah she will call you on her fisher price phone. By the way FD is 2 and doesnt know how to dial a phone, her numbers, abc's or talk very clear yet theres more stuff but mainly I just dont know what to do. he oversteps his power every chance he gets. tells me what I have to do even if I cant keeps at it until I give in or just tells me I have to because if I dont I am not complying and can get into trouble. also this last court date we had march 19 he must have said something to the judge about us not complying because she made a point of telling us that we needed to comply with what the caseworker wants us to do or we wont be able to continue doing foster care. Anyone know of who I can contact to file a complaint or anything?