...another question...have they ever come back?

I'm also in Pa. We got our first placement last June ( from birth ) and to everyone's suprise, the judge had her returned home at 6 months. My resource worker thinks it will be a matter of time before she ends up back in care due to mom's long history with Children and Youth. We work directly with the county, so if she comes back into care, they will call us first. That was one of the first questions C&Y asked us when we found out she was being sent home. It was and still is hard for all of us, but we just hope for the best. She went home a week before Christmas, and I still think about her and hope for her to return. I am not 'pining', and I don't hold out alot of hope, but I would love to have her back. I do think she'd be much better off, but we can't control what happens. After she left, we got several placement calls that fell through, and one we didn't accept. On March 5th we got a new little one -- a thirteen month old little girl. We, of course, don't know how this will turn out, but we'll again do our best.

I never heard so many stories of younger children in placements.I guess for me that is what made it even harder.The youngest was 2 and she melted your heart.My dream is for her to return but I don't hold out for much hope and we also were told we would be the first family they would call and the did yesterday......by accident................ Thanks for the input

I was told that if I have an empty bed, I would be called first when any previous placements come back into care! I had one little guy that I was sure would be back in care, but he is actually doing well!!

Also, what type of allegations was the mother throwing at you? Also, did have an impact on the agency towards you, do you think? I'm just wondering what agencies do when bio parents make false allegations toward foster parents and what impact that has on them for future placements. Hope it has none. I had to do a lot of reporting of comments made by my last foster children regarding someone near and dear to the bio family. It made me uncomfortable and think about the possibility them getting mad and retaliating.

Mom was saying that there was sexual abuse.She was crying everything because she knew she would never get her kids back and wanted t o blame anybody. I hear now the children are doing fine however the family member is so busy with the foster parent classes, her job and the children.Plus the girls have therapy and too be honest I think having all those children may be too much for her.She is younger maybe in her 30's with 4 children of her own and the additional 3. In any case I am glad to see that there are children that do come back.I would hope thes girls do the same,however if they are where they are safe and well taken care of I cannot ask for more.

Were the kids getting therapy before the allegation? Did they already have problems with things? It's a shame. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I was scared to report all the things I had to report. I knew I needed to for the girls and did so...but it frightened me a bit. I worried that they may retaliate. I was pretty new to it all. I hear my fd's are doing well, too. I'm glad, I stuck my neck out for them. And, it was hard. Sounds like your situation was hard for you too. Well you know that it didn't stand in the way of you getting more calls...since they just called you with 3 girls. So, I'm glad for you. I'm relatively new to Fostering and I've read about the possibility of false allegation and that scared me a bit. You seemed to handle it pretty cooly....and so did your agency. I wondered how agencies handled that sort of thing.

The 4 year was in therapy to deal with anger issues.Thats why she told her mother what she did.Although no body believed her, a worker went behind the counties back and called Childline.The children were placed with the aunt which made mom really happy.Even after the little girl told the truth mom demanded her daughter stay with the aunt.In order to please mom the county agreed. That was my very first placement and I loved those girls and they had just started to call me mommy. 1 month later I still hurt but I have to move on. I called my agency they did not call me , They made the choice not to call me on the girls. I wonder if it will happen with this agency?:arrow:

I would ask them directly if this is having an impact on your family being called with placements and what happens when false allegations were made for other foster parents? I would want to know this before leaving....but that's me. I'm a worry-wort so I like all i's dotted and all t's crossed. Then, I would take a gut-read of what they are saying and move on to a new agency if they don't call you. It's weird I've been told by a private agency that false allegations are often made against foster parents but usually the kids are returned after the investigation. I asked my own agency (the county) about relatialation because of all the reporting I did for our girls...they were sheepish about answering. I wondered how other foster parents dealt with reporting, etc. It's awkward. It made me nervous because I didn't want to hurt an innocent party by making the report (as I think the stain of suspicion can stay with the person) but I had to err on the side of caution for the sake of the child. I don't think the county liked it either...I made more work for them. It is my hope that the agency is going to call you so that you have positive closure on a very difficult case. I'm hoping for positive closure for myself too by my previous foster child being returned to me....God willing.

my prayer is that the phone would ring with my agency on the line says my previous foster daughters are coming back. It would be an answered prayer.I know however that the opposition would be bio-mom.She doesn't want any man to be around her daughters and since I will not give up my husband for 20 something years I don't think it is an option. I don't doubt the power of prayer however so it could happen,and anyday I could get the call that "they are on their way back!!!!! My agency says I am first in line,so does the county who seems to love me so you never know.

I know that prayer....because I have been saying it know for over a month. I had been called by the kinship mother twice....got my hopes up only to be dashed. So, with not getting clear cut encouragement it's hard to know what they are doing. Especially, since I have been the same thing that you were told that if he came in the system, he would be returned to me. The kinship mom was told the same thing. I think is what is commonly thought; otherwise, foster mom's that want to adopt may not be doing this. I don't know what to think at this point. No clear picture from any direction. I don't understand why I have been given this child three times (in essence) and will possibly loss him three times. It's a heartbreak. So, I'm hoping this third one is a charm and he'll come home to us. I wish that your prayers are answered too.

I am sorry that you are going through all of this.Believe me I know a little of how you are feeling.I hate to say it but it is good to be able to hear from those who know what we are going through.If you ask me I think kinship aunt is way over ger head and the only reason she is doing this is to make bio-mom happy. I guess if it is meant to be it will happen but the kids have not seen me in over a month so I don't even know if they would remember me anymore . I keep repeating that prayer and will do so until there is an answer.Aunt adopts them or I pray I do. I guess what really maters is what is best for the children and if that means the stay put . Sadly I will move on a await my next placement . I hope something happens soon!!!!

I recently ran into the kinship family and asked how the children were doing.I must be honest and say I was hoping that they would have said they were not adjusting well or anything to let me know that things were not going well.Instead I am told they are doing very well. Although I was saddened with the response I did not want to hear, it was what I needed to hear to help me to realize that there are cases where they do come back.But in this case (unless there is something I do not know or if God has another plan for the children)they will not not come back:hissy: BUT the great thing is they are doing well and I will soon get a call and be able to do it all over again:banana: