do you consider birth parents children your siblings?

Yes, I do and am lucky enough that they consider me a sibling, also. I am an adoptee that searched and found both bmom and bdad. While I grew up with 3 sibs (all adoptees) I found 3 sibs with bmom and 4 with bdad! When I met bdad and his other children in March, my younger brother told me that I wasn't his 1/2 sister, but I WAS his sister. Give him time. I am 46 years old and just meeting sibs. He is 10 and that concept hasn't been grasped yet, IMO. I wouldn't push, just let him be him, it will come.

My birthson is 24 and my daughters I'm raising are 6 and 4. He's been more than thrilled to have sisters! He also grew up in a household with an older (adopted) brother, so wasn't an only child ever. I would think that as he gets older, it would be easier for him to process and more fun!

Of course they are my siblings...I have known about three of them for 30 years and the other two for a couple of years...someday perhaps, if I am lucky, I will be able to meet them. Kind regards,Dickons

I have 8 birthsiblings, and so far I haven't considered any of them my siblings. I've known them for 10 years. I haven't met all of them- in fact I've only met 2. They were raised very differently. I have a nice relationship with my older sister, who is almost 30, but we are always on two different wavelengths, so to speak. She is my half sister. My other sister, who is my full sister and who is 16 years old, wants nothing to do with me, and is wildly jealous of me and my relationship with my birthparents (her parents.) We do not speak. If I meet the others, and we "click", then maybe I could consider them a sibling. But we weren't raised together and I don't consider them my siblings anymore than I consider my birth-mother and birth-father's parent's grandma and grandpa, etc. My sibling relationships were ruined because of some poor parenting choices- the siblings were never taught to see me as a sister and not as a stranger who is infiltrating their family. I am not the norm- so don't worry. My birthsiblings are not emotionally healthy individuals, and so I doubt any sort of familial relationship with them is possible. As long as ALL of your children, placed or raised, are secure with their place in your life, their shouldn't be any issues. You are also in an open adoption. Mine was closed for most of my life. Good luck

No. I have two birthsiblings on my bmom's side ( her children with her husband) and I have one on my bdad's side. But when people ask me how many siblings I have, I unintentionally say one-my asister the one I was raised with. I guess it's because my bsiblings and I were raised by two different sets of parents, in different homes and at different times. With my asister ( who is my aparents bio child) we were both raise together, with the same parents and under the same roof. Again I don't intentionally do it, but I really don't think of my bsiblings as siblings when people ask me how many sibling I have. We have a relationship but it's more like distant cousins. -Manni

I am an amom and both my kids (age 5 and 3) have siblings in other homes (with birth family or other adoptive family). We talk of them as brothers and sisters all the time. They have each other and live together as a family in our home, and then they have siblings that live in other homes with other parents. That is how we talk about it. They may not know them that well yet, but they still exist and we won't deny their existence. In fact, this weekend, DD's sister and her mom (not DD's birth mom) are coming to visit us for the whole weekend. We can't wait.

Yes and no. That about sums up everything does't it...they are my 1/2 sibs...that is a fact. We came from the same mother. I have one that I have sporadic contact with, because our lives are very different. There is no "problem" . We also don't have the experiance of growing up as siblings. The other one has no contact with me. I would love to get to know him better but he is not intersted, which is ok by me. So bioloigically yes we are sibs, but emotionally no. The ones that I love and exasparate me are the ones I grew up with. i don't know about sibs on bfather side

Wow that is a different way to look at things. It never occurred to me that you wouldnt just consider yourself siblings. I wonder if my kids feel that way. I just assumed they wouldnt. Thanks for a different perspective.

My kids consider each other their siblings. They consider my son's adopted sister their sister too. But we always were a more the merrier kind of family.

Birth order is is part of what makes us who we are. It is part of our identity. Birth siblings who are not raised together have to process the discovery of new siblings and resolve that in their own way and time. And as with everything in adoption, each situation is unique. When we met my relinquished daughter... She was 18 and the youngest child in her adoptive family. after discovering she had 3 younger sibs, her amom announced to her "you aren't the baby anymore!!!". I will never forget the look on her face. That was a very wounding comment. She looked devastated. Being the baby was part of her identity. Part of how she viewed herself and her place in the world. My youngest daughter will grow up knowing she has birthsiblings, both older and younger. But I don't see that changing the fact that she is the baby in her adoptive family. And then there is that.... My relinquished daughter has no connection to my baby who was adopted. The baby isn't her birthsibling. She doesn't even know the baby. But to my 3 raised daughters, the baby is completely their little sister!!! Dpenn is right in saying " So bioloigically yes we are sibs, but emotionally no". And the opposite is true... Not biologically related but emotionally definitely sibs. I do think an emotional connection between siblings is what leads to "feeling" like sibs and claiming them. I am not entirely sure you have to be raised together to get this connection. I have a wonderful friend who I think of as my little sister. Had we been biologically related, but not raised together, I would totally claim her as my sister. But again, I think of this as the adoptees choice to make.

Thank you for all your input. My daughter is now 5 months old and we will be having a visit with my b-son soon. I am MUCH more open with the adoption than his a-parents. My daughter will be raised knowing she has an older brother etc... we are in an open adoption and ive decided i'm not going to dance around the issue. They are siblings and i feel that not acknowledging that will only confuse the already confusing aspects of adoption! I wish his parents would talk with him about this stuff...aaahhhh!

My 2 b moms girls are easy to connect with because they always knew I was "out there". the 3 on my b dad's side are more distant. The oldest found out in a negative way and hasn't recovered from being knocked out of birth order. we have 'trust" issues. The other two, well, there just isn't a connection. We grew up apart and now our lives are all separate. So I question if there ever will be any close connection. I'm not even close to my 1 a. sib brother. We've always been very different people and he has always kept his distance from the whole fam. he is closer to people outside the fam then inside. Most of this stems from the adoption itself. Piertz

also, note.. this varies in foster/adopt situations where the child knew of.. or possibly even lived with.. b-siblings

Sometimes kids just like being only children. My sister had two boys 8 years apart. When they told their son they were having another baby he said "Another kid? I'm outta here!" Fast forward a few years and they were best friends. So, maybe he just liked the idea of being an only child.

My situation is a bit different because I am not adopted, but I do have a large combination of bio-siblings, half-siblings, and step-siblings from both my parents who divorced when I was young. I was raised by my mom with my full-brother, 2 step-sisters, and 2 half-brothers. I consider them all to be my siblings. On my father's side I have 4 half-siblings. I knew 2 of them for a while through visitation with my father, but the other 2 were born after visitation stopped so I have never met them. I do not consider any of them to be my siblings. Even when I was visiting my dad, I did not really consider them to be my siblings (on an emotional level, of course I knew that biologically they were half-siblings). Had the visitations continued, I'm not sure if the connection ever would have grown enough for me to consider them siblings.