If you have adopted an older Indian child...

I think you will get more responses, both here and on i-child, if you start by posting some specific questions/concerns you have.

My husband and I are in the process of adopting an older child from India. We would also like to here from others who have adopted older children. How has your child adapted to US culture, US schools? Also we are concerned about the time frame for adoption. Because we are adopting an older child we have heard the process of being matched with a child goes faster. Do you think we can complete the process of being matched with a child to bringing child home in less than 9 months? Any thoughts are welcome...

I did not adopt an older child from India. My daughter is from China and was 18 months old at adoption; she's 14 years old now. Still, I'd like to comment on your questions. First, it is very hard to complete ANY international adoption in nine months, nowadays, and especially a Hague adoption. Although I don't have "hard numbers", I would estimate that most adoptions take 18 months to two years from homestudy to homecoming, nowadays, with older children at the lower end of the range. Adoptions from India are Hague adoptions, because both the U.S. and India have ratified Hague Convention #33, on intercountry adoption. There's an extra layer of paperwork and approvals to go through, because the Hague process includes many safeguards to protect children, their birthparents, and their adoptive families. The homestudy alone, which both Hague and non-Hague adoptions require, can sometimes take two months or more. Yes, some homestudies take less time, but so many factors can extend the process -- even the number of social workers in your community and the distance you live from a homestudy agency. With Hague rules, for example, you need police and child abuse clearances from every state and country in which you have lived, and it can sometimes take months to get them all. Back when I adopted, I needed a child abuse clearance only from DC, but because of a backlog in that office, it took over a month for my social worker to get it faxed to her. Hague rules also mandate a certain number of hours of pre-adoption parent preparation/education, and not all agencies permit you to obtain it on-line; you may have to wait for a class to begin in your area. Some states have unusual homestudy requirements -- for example, that you obtain a foster care license (even though you will not be fostering), or that the fire marshall inspect your home. These can extend your process. If you need to obtain copies of birth certificates, marriage licenses, divorce decrees, etc., you are at the mercy of government agencies in the states or countries where they originated. Even if you pay for expediting, you could wait weeks to get everything. You will need a medical exam for both your homestudy and your dossier. Some people have reported waiting weeks to get in to see their doctor and have the necessary testing, especially if there's a lot of illness going around -- H1N1, etc. -- and the doctor's office is more full than usual with sick patients. You will need to do an I-800A for the USCIS, and to submit it with your homestudy report and some other items. Each USCIS office has a processing time, and it can be long. Back when I did the I-600A (non-Hague version), my USCIS office took 8-12 weeks to approve. Your placement agency will review your homestudy report and USCIS clearance, and help you to prepare a dossier of documents for preliminary submission to the Indian government. It is time-consuming to compile a dossier, and all dossiers must generally go through a process of authentication, so the foreign country can be sure that the documents in it are genuine. This process usually includes notarization, certification by the Secretary of State in the state that appointed the notary that the notarial seal is authentic, certification by the U.S. Secretary of State that the seal of the state is authentic, and certification by the Embassy of the foreign country in the U.S. that the process was conducted properly. Depending on how much time you have to work on it, and how long the various entities take to conduct their review, dossier prep can take one month or longer; some busy people find that it takes a few months. At least one agency, which is currently placing only Waiting Children (older and/or special needs) from India, says that once it receives a family's homestudy, it normally takes 12 to 30 months for the pre-referral dossier to be completed, authenticated, and sent to India, for India to review it, and for India to identify an appropriate child and determine that he/she is legally free for adoption. However, this process may be shorter for a Waiting Child, who already may have paperwork certifying that the Indian government considers him/her legally free for adoption. Once a child is referred to a family and the child agrees to adopt him/her, a post-referral dossier of additional documents is sent by the agency to India. The family also works with the agency to process paperwork for the I-800 (companion piece to the I-800A filed earlier), the child's Indian passport, etc. The agency says that it can take four to seven months from then until you are allowed to travel to India and bring your child home. Most Indian children referred to Americans will come home under a decree of guardianship. The children will not actually receive a decree of adoption in India. The adoptive parents will have to do a domestic adoption in their home state, after bringing the children home, for the adoption to be legalized and for the child to be eligible for U.S. citizenship. This adoption will involve additional paperwork and expense. A few people of Indian heritage will, because of their specific religion, be allowed to complete their adoptions during their trip to India; these people will not need to readopt in the U.S., unless they wish to do so. All in all, I'd suggest that you start calling agencies with regard to the time frames they are seeing for Indian Waiting Children. The folks at the agencies will have more recent experience than anyone else, and can give you the best idea of what to expect. However, I do NOT believe that you should count on a 9-month process, especially if you also have to do a domestic adoption once the child comes home. Sharon

What questions do you have? Feel free to ask and I will try to respond based on my own experience...

After being matched, plan on at least 6-8 months if you have already done some of the preliminary paperwork. Plan longer if not, another 4-6 months. Ours took total of 1 year 8 months start to end with so many glitches and delays due to the new Hague regulations. This was for a waiting sibling set, arrived here in April 2010, now ages 8 & 10.I fostered in India three months and the first few weeks were hell!!! The youngest was tantruming like a three-year old, raiding the fridge, disobedient, impolite and unruly. The older one was withdrawn and would hardly talk to me.Well, with a lot of structure, retraining and appropriate consequences, I have now two beautiful daughters who are doing very well. The younger one has nearly completely straightened herself out and acts her age. She is learning English very quickly and she is enrolled in mainstream classroom at a Catholic school after being in ESL classes in the late spring and summer school. The older daughter is severely struggling with language and she has a lot of academic deficits that don't seem to be related to English language skills. She thinks more like a first-grader rather than a fifth-grader a lot of the times, but she is making progress, just more slowly. As for fitting in socially, well, frankly we don't want her to fit into US mainstream too much (we are TV-free, conservative, alternative types), but also given what they have experienced and how we live, they will probably always be a little different. My guess is that they will adapt to whatever environment you provide for them. If you are mainstream, they will eventually become mainstream. If you are alternatives, they will eventually become alternatives, etc. Hope this gives you some insight.

Hi Melimom,Thanks for such specific information. What an interesting experience (and very trying experience!) you are having. Where in India did you adopt? (from what city). Did you adopt under JJ Act or Guardians act? I have heard that it is possible to foster beforehand, but I am not sure if the rules are changing. Did you have family you were staying with while fostering? That could be a possibility for us, but I am not sure how to set up a rhythm, rules, boundaries, etc. while living in someone else's home with their own rules and habits already in place. I would think those first few weeks are crucial in establishing a sense of security and routine for the children. We just spent several months in India hoping to adopt while living there, but then after digging deeper, came to the realization that it will go much smoother if we do it from the US. We are almost done with our homestudy, clearances, etc.We want to adopt a child between 3 and 6, but are also concerned about the emotional and behavioral issues we will need to be prepared for. Like you, we do not have a television and don't have any desire to live the mainstream American life. We really don't buy the latest gadgets and want to impart the values of simplicity to our child. But we don't know if that will be easy given this consumer culture. Any tips?My biggest concern is the timeframe. For various reasons we need to complete the adoption in one year. Given that we are adopting an older child, we are hoping that the time needed for being matched would be reduced. But we are unclear as to how much bureaucracy we are actually up against. CARA gives timeframes, but we don't actually know how long that takes. We have had some reassurances that this is possible, but no guarantees.You mentioned preliminary paperwork after being matched with a child. What paperwork is this? Something else besides dossier, I-800?Any thoughts you can share (and others can share as well) would be welcome.Thanks.

Our first adoption was pre-Hague, so the process was a little different, but since we waited a year for a referral, there are some other paper steps that get done during that time, but all part of the dossier stuff you would have already filled out and sent off. Our second adoption was post-Hague and there are new paper steps added that take additional time that can only happen once the referral is given. Then the time depends on the specific region where your agency works. Some areas of India are known for their lengthy processes, while others are comparatively smoother. Orissa, where we did our second *used to be* just two months post NOC, now it is more like 6. Six months used to be quite typical, but with licenses expiring, difficult judges and passport officers, you just can't predict. CARA only gives "guidelines". They have no jurisdiction in the courts and gov't. Most orphanages will do GAWA (both of ours were GAWA, but only because the orphanages refused to do HAMA). Some places, Mumbai, I think, are requiring finalization in India JJA or HAMA. Fostering is less and less common--ours was the last the orphanage allowed--there are just too many frustrations to deal with--and it is easier for them. Most orphanages do not allow it in the first place. The best advice we received from our social worker was to be a parent from the first day, meaning avoid the temptation to pamper the child because of his/her past and get away with things because you feel sorry for the child. They will be confused when later your parenting kicks in with consequences and rules. We are so glad we followed that advice!It's hard to predict what kind of behavioral issues you may have with a child of that age. Maybe none, who knows? Depends on previous experiences, orphanage care, personality, etc....I'm glad to know there is another TV-free family out there!

Thank you for sharing your experience. How are you kids doing now?My husband and I are in the process of adopting from India. CARA demands that we be open to some form of special needs. As my husband and I have crossed the forty threshold, we are thinking of an older child but I am so nervous. I am so lost and confused that I want someone else to make that call for me. But I so want a child. Please give me some advice if you can.