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This may seem like an odd question, but I've been wondering this and figured I'd ask. Let me first say DH and are prospective adoptive parents for an older child/children, neither of us are adopted. I am not trying to pry, but I don't know anyone that's adopted and am really trying to get all these family relations sorted out in my head.
For older adoptees that have been reunited and have kids of their own-how have you explained birth and adoptive families? Do they just look at them as additional grandparents?
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My children already knew I was adopted. As my reunion progressed, I kept them posted in simple terms. They understand the relationship with my birth family and call people by their first names. Had they been babies or toddlers, I could see coming up with a different type of grandparent name.Good luck. It's been the easiest with my children. It's the grownups that have the hardest time with reunion, I think!
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Thank you for taking the time to reply! I have a slightly complex family with marriages, divorces, children from previous marriages all mixed in amoungst all the aunts uncles cousins and such, but this concept adds a new "wrinkle" to it all. I am really trying to read all the things adoptees post, especially those that were adopted when they were older, so I will have some idea of where our future kids are coming from. I have step parents and step families, one that came along when I was in my early teens, so I have some idea of what it's like to suddenly have this family that you dont know. Like walking into a family gathering and not really knowing anyone, but they all knew each other their whole lives. Here they are atlkign about when so and so did such and such and remember the year that whatever happened and you just wonder what to do, who to talk to, and what to talk about. It's a weird, weird feeling. But even then, I had my bio parent. I am trying really hard to see this as the kids will, with no "guiding" force to lean on.