Transition advice

If the foster parents are unwilling to do their job can you insist that the SW do theirs. These children deserve to have some sort of transition and so does your 5 yr old and the SW should make darn sure that they have one. Insist, insist, insist - go up the ladder already if you have toThe SW can bring the children into the office and show them your photo'sThe SW can bring the children to a visit location with you and a visit or a few to to your houseSee if you can send a teddy. I gave my DD one on our very first visit and sprayed a touch of my perfume on it it - she still notices every single time I wear that perfume five years latersee if you can get a list of what they like to eat/habits etccan you go to their school/pre school/daycare and let them have a good bye visit with class/teachers - many teachers will make a scrapbook for the departing child with letters/pictures from friendscan you write a little note to fosters and mention that you appreciate how painful this must be for them, that you appreciate all they have done for the kiddo's and maybe you would like to have some contact/relationship in the future {only if you are willing}.congratulations though!! :grouphug:

We are going through Children's Home Society for our foster adoption and they have quite a transition plan and post placement care as well. There is the initial visit with the children in the foster home (once or twice), then a weekend visit to your home, then a week or so...then a decision by them and you to move them 'permanently' in preparation for final adoption. A lifebook of us and our home/pets is prepared in transition and given to the children while still in the foster home during the beginning stages of the transition. There are visits by the CW in the home as well during the first few weeks and months until finalization and even then, there is post placement services.

That is EXACTLY how it went for our 5 and 6 year old. We had met them once and spent about 1 hour together. In the begining they called us by our first names though. They refered to our baby as their sister right away, they loved her! C cried all the way to my house. (an hour drive) It was aweful:( BUT, once we pulled in the driveway and he saw the trampoline and pool, he calmed down and started asking lots of questions like "when can we swim?" lol It was January! I had bought every kid friendly food known to man, so I made mac and cheese, hot dogs and pizza. They both refused to eat at first, but when the CW left they chowed down. I had also bought wooden letters for them to paint their name to put up in their new room. They LOVED that. By that point they were calmed down and my DH sat down on the couch with them and read a whole stack of books. They were sound asleep by 8:30 which I thought was amazing. We spent the first weekend at home, skipped church that week and introduced family and friends slowly. Having their sibling with them helps tremendously. You will be just fine. Just follow their lead as much as you can and reassure them that they are safe in your house.

Boys? Girls? One of each? You may want to let them share a room for a while even if they are a boy and girl. I agree with the other poster that the CW should be able to do better than...well, nothing in the way of transition. If the current FP really cares about the kids she will at least make a list of favorites and routines. It is really important that you do whatever you can now to keep some kind of contact with the FP. It is not fair for the kids to feel like their lives before 3 and 5 have just vanished. Our situation sounds very similar to yours and I will tell you that we now have frequent visits with the former FP's (grandparents) and gma DID NOT want to give up her grandkids. She sees that they are happy and loved and now the kids get to have the best of both worlds!

That is pretty much how ours was. Our daughter was older (8) and did know us, but her FPs wanted to adopt and couldn't. At the very end they were nice, but it was not possible to transition. We talked on the phone and asked her favorite foods and had that for supper. Also had a photo album for her to look at with family and friends in it. I had sidewalk chalk and books for her. Good luck. Keep updating!

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. We are awaiting final ruling "any day" as to the kids placement with us. Boys, 3 and 4. The agency has requested the state institute that has the last word on adoption approvals to rule on the denial of the FP adoption petition before moving the boys as they aren't in an danger in the home. They want to be sure they do not move the kids only to have to move them back if this insititue overrules the denial. My heart does go out to the current FP and I hope that, should the placement go forward, they will evenually decide they want to continue as grandma and grandpa to these little guys. The boys FC worker has been trying to document as much about their daily lives as possible, likes/dislikes etc, so we will have that at a minimum. I do feel like the agency is doing everything that can be done to ensure the least impact to the boys. On our side, it's wait and see and hope the system works like it is supposed to to determine what is best for the boys. In the interim, we are as prepped as we can be if we get the call tomorrow. :)

Pardom my ignorance, but what would cause FPs to be denied the ability to adopt children that they have been caring for? I mean, if they were good enough to be their foster parents, why would they not be good enough to be their forever parents? I also wonder if the children were older, if their opinion would be taken into consideration (say that they'd want their FPs to adopt them).

Believe me, we had the same question! We do not know the details of the case due to confidentiaility however, we have been told that the children's long term needs are not being met / will not be able to be met in this home and also that the FPs continued licensure is in question due to other issues in the home. From what we have heard, read and seen, if there were any way the agency felt they could possibly leave the children in place they would; it would certainly be a lot less work and hassle on their part...but they are jumping through hoops only out of the interest of making the best "forever" placement for the children.