House Rules?

Take a look at old threads with similar questions. There were some great posts a few months ago on this subject.We only have our four year old ason and a 14 month old foster baby girl so we are still developing the rules in our house. We also do emergency and respite foster care for all ages (0-18). For those short term kids (often just getting them through one night or a weekend) particularly preteens/teens, we use a short list of rules that also serve as an introduction/ice breaker:I always say: There are five rules in this house that are absolute, everything else is negotiable:1. No drugs or alcohol2. No weapons of any kind3. No hurting people or animals4. No swearing or language a four year old shouldn't hearEvery time I've used this list it has had the same effect: They are interested when I tell them there are only five rules. They think the first four are perfectly reasonable and number five makes them laugh. Then we have a snack and move on.Works for me so far. Good luck.

C.A....hahahah I love it!!I think you should let them settle in a bit before the big rule ceremony...but I do think it should be done. I would keep it simple at first but gradually make the rules/chores integrated into your everyday lives. I have three boys, 8, 6 and 2. My two older sons have chores like, clean your room and your toys, take your laundry to the laundry room, empy small garbage cans (like in the bathroom), take out the recycle, clean up after dinner, help set the table etc... Just make sure it is age approriate and something they can handle. Good Luck!

P.S....I don't do allowances. I feel that rewarding them with money for helping keep the house clean that they live and mess in is teaching them to not be responsible. I would like them to naturally clean up things they mess and not expect anything in return. Now if they help my husband and I with something extra that we don't expect them to do...I was cleaning out the garage the other day and they came out and helped sweep...I give them a few dollars or some kind of reward. :) I felt in this instance, they earned it...like a job!

Yes that is what I amean by allowance! I agree.. I read that you should not reward chores with money because they think "i dont need money this week, so im not going to clean my room" which made perfect sense.

I agree that do chores = earn money sets up a potentially problematic atmosphere. I'm not a parent yet, but the culture of bribery I see at my school makes me leery. However... Love and Logic strongly suggests allowances, but not in relationship to chores. The allowance is for the opportunity to exercise choice (one learns to appreciate or regret one's purchases, things parents won't spend their money on child has the opportunity to save for if s/he values it), and chores are expected. Chores not done? Kiddo has to "pay" parent (or sibling!) from allowance to make up for it. I suppose in the end, it comes to the same - no chores, no money - but this approach to rationalizing it teaches a different lesson. We plan to try it.

[FONT="Arial Narrow"]We have been working on our list 1) Kitchen and Meals: Eat three meals day including breakfast (breakfast is the most imp[ortant meal of the day). Dinner together as a family, iand is severed around 6 pm which means no snacks AFTER 4:30 pm. 2) Hygiene: Brush teeth, take a bath or "quick" shower every day. 3) Chores: Weekday put dirty clothes in hamper, make the bed at the very least attempt to do so every day. Make sure the floor is clean of clutter. Weekly chores: Are to be done before you can go out on the weekends. Empty trash in your room (molds and germs do grow), change sheets (can help if needed), place dirty bed linen in washer. 4. Bedtime: Ages 5-8 8:30 pm 9-12 9:00 13-15 in your room at 9:30 and lights off at 10 pm Still working on it.[/FONT]

[FONT="Arial Narrow"]These belong to a close friend who is a Foster Mom[/FONT] I am here to protect and keep you safe. We are polite to one another. We clean up our messes. We dont hit or throw things. We are honest. We talk out our problems. We donҒt yell.

Our house rules are: 1. no physical violence 2. no yelling or loud voices 3. be kind to everyone and everything 4. we keep our house clean It can change depending on the kids, but in general, this is it. I explain the rules to my kids the first day. Also listed on the same page,which is posted in the kitchen at their eye level,are the rewards and consequences for behavior. They need to know right away what is expected of them. The first time they break a rule or do something they have been told not to do, they get a warning. The next time, they get the consequence.Without any words, it's into time out(this is for my under 6 crowd. It could apply to older kids but with different consequences). Time out does not start until they are quiet and sit still. I had a 2. 5 yr old I put into time out 25 times. My now DD who is 2. 5, went for over 40 times one day. She's very stubborn. Reward good behavior without going overboard. Sitting watching TV, doing chores, being nice during dinner, etc. Any thing like this deserves a reward. That can be whatever you want, but most of the time, these kids have never heard a good word from a parent, so a simple "thank you for doing such a good job" can be enough to keep it going. Positive attention as opposed to negative attention. To avoid negative attention, do not feed into tantrums, screaming, or misbehaving. Use no words, taken them to time out. Rewards in my house include, deciding on dinner, picking what movie to watch, what game to play, trip to ice cream store, trip to park, extra outside time, etc. Consequences include time out, loss of privileges(outdoor time, bike, etc), more chores, loss of toys and objects( I take the favorite object first). So far my method has worked great. Even the 4 yr old who was feral(never had any discipline at all, made his own rules) learned the rules really fast and did not give me any grief while he was here. He loved being praised for a good job.

[FONT="Arial Narrow"]Anyone have any house rules for pets? We have a 3 y/o rabbit, 12 y/o cat, and two 6 mo turtles..

Would be nice to have something in witing to say pretty much pets are family too yadda ya.. [/FONT]

In Love and Logic allowances are for learning responsibility....it has nothing to do with chores. Growing up I had an allowance given every Fri. If I wanted to buy something expensive or do something out of the ordinary, then I would use the money I had from allowance, if I broke something due to disobedience, the money came from the allowance to pay for it. It has nothing to do with chores. In this day and age of spending with credit cards and being constantly in debt, I find it essential to start teaching fiscal responsibility at an early age.

The system we use is similar to what KatrinL explains. Our children earn weekly allowance. One dollar per year of their age. Out of allowance they pay penalties if they need to for not doing their assigned task or for major behavior issues. Also, at first it may sounds as though 1 dollar per year of a child's age is quite a bit - 12 years old = $12 per week. BUT we do not pay for any of the extras that the kids want. If they want the latest toy or game they save their money for it - so they do learn responsibility through making their own purchase. If the older kids want to go to a movie with their friend they use their own money for it. So far its a system that has worked well for the kiddos we have.

Any suggestions for pet-friendly home rules? We have a three-year-old rabbit, a twelve-year-old cat, and two six-month-old turtles.It would be wonderful to have something in writing to emphasize that dogs are family too, and so on.