Can two siblings completely bonded to each other have RAD?

They cannot have rad and be bonded to each other as RAD would imply the inability to bond. They can have attachment issues and other mental health issues. It is also possible that one child is bonded to the other but the other not be bonded at all and still appear on the outside to be connected. I have twins. One was bonded to his twin, the other had severe attachment disorder. They could have fun together and appear bonded but were not. RAD kids tend to do very well in RTC facilities. What would help would be to know how they ended up there, how many moves they made and why and if they have ever lived apart and why. If possible, talk to former foster parents or former parents who attempted to adopt and find out what there observations were. If the kids carry a diagnosis of RAD where and when did they get it and what treatment, if any, did they receive? Hope that helps some.

i think they can have a trauma bond. i don't know how else to explain it....but i think that is what my kids had....they are bonded together in an unhealthy fashion bc of what they have experienced. they did not want to be separated....but they abused eachother. my dd has RAD, she is unable to bond to anyone else. i still think the bond they share is unhealthy eventhough they are no longer abusive....but they are inseperable....in a weird way.their group home workers also sang praises about these kids. i got their file when we adopted...and there were plenty of things that they should have told us about that were big red flags....however....i think group homes miss alot bc the constant turn over of people. every 6-8 hours there is a complete switch in care givers......a group home is like a dream come true to a RAD kid....getting to start over every 6-8 hours....no single caregiver.....PLUS....as a parent of a RAD kid.....i MYSELF would be able to handle it so much better if i only had to deal with the behaviors a fraction of the day and constantly had people relieving me so i could go back home to my "normal" life. lol.RAD is H-A-R-D....i can not imagine surviving the past 7 years without my partner. if i did not have someone to tag team me, let me take a time out, encourage me, calm me down....i would have LOST MY MIND.honestly....i don't recommend this kind of parenting to most people....but i definitely would not recommend it to a single parent with no RAD experience. probably not what you wanted to hear....but i'd kick myself for not saying it.

@Lucyjoy from what i have been told they are close and always have been. they were in foster homes together except for a month when one of them was placed in the RTC before the other. they are in the same RTC but housed in separate buildings, although i'm told its not because of them but because of the way the RTC operates. when they were in foster homes they got along fine. The other details I don't know yet but my case worker is looking into it. @mommytoEli if it is a true RAD diagnosis then i see what you are saying but my concern is that maybe they are misdiagnosed. I'm pretty sure they have ADHD (and lol so do i so i'm not afraid of that at all) and i'm suspecting Aspergers with one of them and my nephew has that so again i can handle that. But if they have a healthy sibling relationship it doesn't seem like they can have RAD. Maybe they have some of the symptoms tho without the full blown disorder. The older one told me he's in the ninth grade and there's no way and the younger one was clingy with adults in the foster home. i know both lying and clinginess can be symptoms.

Okay, then what are they doing in an RTC? It costs far more per day to house them there then in foster care so there usually is a reason. You need to know what it is. I've seen attachment disorder kids misdiagnosed as ADHD but not the other way around(possible, but not as common) Hope your worker can get you more complete information.

i don't know the behaviors that got them into the RTC yet. i hope to know on monday. i just know that they get a long well with each other and they have been in homes with pets and younger children and did fine with them. is it possible that they have a mild case of RAD that could be dealt with or that they have worked with them in the RTC?

even mild RAD is hard RAD. i don't think my dd is as extreme as some of the people's kids are here. she narrowly escaped her only stay in a true RTC (she lived about 2 years in regular group homes before moving in with me)...and we have had no reason to put her back since. but the behaviors she does have....are crazy. there are days we barely make it through the day....and i think she is "mild" compared to the kids i read about here. i think it is possible they are misdiagnosed, but not likely....i mean, anything is possible, but like lucyjoy....i am skeptical about why they are in a RTC then. even when my kids were living in a regular group home....i realize now that had they been normal healthy kids....they would have been in a foster home....not a group home to begin with.you need to ask someone WHY they were dx with RAD. what behaviors led to that dx. then read up on RAD. then ask yourself, "if this dx is correct, and these are behaviors i can expect to see for the remainder of their life with me.....can i handle it? if they never change or make improvements away from that behavior....can i handle it?"i've learned with RAD that you prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.i'd hold off on that "healthy sibling bond" thing until you see them in action. people who don't completely know my teens think they have a healthy sibling bond.....and it is anything but healthy. i think *sometimes* workers tend to either lie to place kids, OR don't completely understand how RAD works....so they are quick to dismiss behaviors that are red flags as "normal kid stuff" when it is anything but normal. i've found that workers in RTC are not far off of that.....they are either not seeing the behaviors bc RAD kids tend to do "well" in a facility so they write off any behaviors they do see as normal, or they are just not there consistently enough to see them or pick up on them. my dd was so successful in a group home that at one point said she never wanted to be adopted.....but wanted to go back and live at the group home. well, actually she didn't just say it. she set her brother up, did something horrible to my house, and then lied that her brother did it and that she heard him say he never wanted to be adopted and wanted to go back to the group home. but she THRIVED there. just promise yourself you will get information, and then get more information, that you will ask to speak directly to people who work at the rtc, and any previous foster care providers, that you will ask to read their PSYCH EVAL and speak with the person who conducted it BEFORE you move forward. when i asked to read my kids' psych evals i was told they did not have one. it was a lie....i wish i would have pushed more to get more info before they moved in. i would have been more successful parenting them had i actually known what i was up against from day 1.RAD is a tough ride. if you go through with it....please come back here for support. there are plenty of parents here that deal with this everyday...and we all rely on eachother to help us through.

I will tell you that one week after my RAD son came home, we were at church and people comented how bonded he already was to his new siblings and to me. In public he would hug me and them. At home he was telling me he hated me. When spring break came that first year, he actually cried the whole day in school and told the teacher that he would miss her too much. Then he got in the car and talked about how much he hated school and started talking about how stupid his teacher was. The teacher was left in tears and worried about him all of spring break. Then we came back (after only one week) and he told her he had forgotten who she was. (after a tantrum where he begged not to be sent back to school) When we went into outpatient treatment people at church were shocked. He was always climbing on my lap at church and telling people in Sunday school how much he loved his mommy. (while at the same time asking them if he could come live with them). People thought he was bonded, but he wasn't. At home he would talk about how much he hated me, threaten to kill me, hit me, head but me, throw up on me, etc. Honestly most of the stories I hear are about kids being under diagnosed, not over diagnosed.

WE took on siblings (7 and 3) and after assessment the older one was diagnosed with RAD. These 2 definitely had a trauma bond and we ended up having to separate them with the 7 year old leaving our home. They seemed close and bonded to each other as well, but once we got them into our therapeutic environment, everything changed. It took many months of us really getting in there and trying to love them before we truly saw the reality of the trauma bond and the abuse. RAD kids are really good at showing whichever side they want to show to whomever is watching.

We adopted siblings. They had been in foster together for about 7 years. RAD was ruled out because they had a good bond. Not! The younger was RAD. He liked is brother because he was a pushover. He could get his brother to do anything he wanted. He talked for him. He used him as a scape goat. His brother was the only one who would play once other kids saw through the lies. The older one put up with it because his self confidence was too low to challenge it. The cost of the challenge would have been frightening.We have both kids but we very carefully limit their interaction. They do not play together and they do not talk much. The older has blossomed since being out from under the thumb of the younger. He harbors a lot of anger over how the younger treated him. The younger must bond to his new parents before he can bond to his brother or anyone else.