Pickaninny

I thought I knew what picaninny meant, but come to find out I was wrong... I've only heard the term a couple of times from older people, both black and caucasian. One was by a greatgrandmother describing her great granddaughter (which really shocked me!) I would've been speechless myself. I truly beleive most people have no idea what the word means or where it came from... I can always think of great things to say after the fact, when i have time to think about what i should have said.

I have never heard that word?...

wow!! I know older adults (black and white) use that work. I don't. I don't use nappy which I also hate. The way I explain things to my kids is just because someone is an adult doesn't mean he/she is right.

Elderly people seem to be holding onto that term or young people who've spent a lot time around the elderly. The only time I hear AA's use it is when they are concerned that a child has been groomed to look like one. They are usually questioning your reason for setting up the child for ridicule. If you groom your child that way someone just might call them that name when you least expect it. That's why I cringe every time I see an AA child with braids sticking up all over their head and then a zillion bows or barrettes on them... That image is a trigger for some people to flap their jaws. Nick Do you remember the doll I bought with that hairstyle? I had posted a picture of it on the AA forum. The doll was plush, tan colored and had about 5 braids sticking up on her head tied with yarn. She came up missing... DH hated it so my money is on him making it disappear. The manufacturer made two versions of the doll. The white doll had one tuft of hair on the top of her head tied with yarn bow but the AA doll had 5 braids sticking up. I couldn't figure out why they didn't do the same thing for both dolls and just change the color.

LOL your dh ditched that doll huh? :-D I just noticed my kiddo's dental hygienist (CC) has a Picaninny ceramic figurine on her shelf. bleh! I cannot stand the braids all over the head myself. It just brings back those little Rascals, torn up raggedy clothes kids vision to me.

nickchris, I'm just curious how you'd style an AA little girl's hair if not in little braids all over. DD's hair is very tightly coiled and dry despite lots of all-natural moisturizing products. If left in a free afro for even a matter of hours, it is a tangled mess that takes forever to comb though and causes lots and lots of tears, screaming, and sometimes even vomiting. It's heartbreaking. Even puffs get very tangled and dry. Braids are the only thing that work for us. I'm hopeful that one day twists might work, but she doesn't have the volume of hair for that yet.

I dont think having braids all over are bad at all. EVERY black girl I knew growing had braids all over our hair.

Sorry, my bad, let me clarify. I am talking about a bunch of random braids "sticking up" in the air. That's different than multiple twists/braids. Big difference with an actual hair style, and the pickaninny braids. :-) Also your DD is a baby. As for my DD:As a small toddler DD sported a few styles with puffs and such and the back was primarily swirls; due to her sparse baby hair. She had one or 2 twists on top where there was longer hair (2 to 3 inches) with a mini clip at the ends. I did not do multiple twists until she had more hair to manipulate. Some people use mini hair clips/bubbles at the end of the braid or twists to keep all the sections going in one direction. Lately as a preschooler, I style DDs hair with the multiple Zulu knots, and twists. Now that her hair is longer.. I can do bigger sections of twists and puffs. I have no problem with combing out her puffs, but she has very soft hair which is not tightly coiled. Some little girls with very long hair do have the overlapping braids/twists, some with bubbles at the end. Its well maintained and kept neat. btw have you tried Knot Today detangler as yet? You can find it in Whole Foods.Also here is a video clip of some little girls hair styles:[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6js9WAzUwU"]YouTube - Little Girls Natural Hairstyles (With Pictures)[/URL]Multiple twists:[URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK_FFltqDhc&feature=related"]YouTube - My Baby Girl using Tiny Twirls by Kinky Curly[/URL]

I like lots of braids too.

Thanks for the explanation, nickchris. I didn't mean to jump down your throat, but I was just like, "What am I supposed to do with her hair?!" The beads definitely weigh the braids down so they don't stick out all over. Plus, I alternate the boxes when I do box braids so that gives it a nicer look. I want to try Zulu/Bantu knots again. I tried it when she was maybe 6 or 9 months old, but she just didn't have the texture for it then. Now she just might. I'd say she's got 4B hair. I wish I could find a way to keep the curls defined and moisturized to have it look good in an afro with a headband for just ONE day! She's got the most gorgeous spiral curls, but they just look terrible as soon as her hair dries after a bath.

Robin...granted I am not AA, so I have no ideas on the socially appropriate or unappropriate hair for AA girls, but I just wanted to say that I know how hard you work, and I think you do a FABULOUS job on Ella's hair. You are a rock star! I know you work hard and put so much love into her hair. From my experience even within the AA community, you will find such varying opinions on things for girls hair and boys hair. I'm sure it's based on many things. I know some people are anti-beads, but some people love them. Some people don't like braids on boys, but I know that Ty's birth brother has very long hair and it's often pulled back into a single puff or in cornrows, so clearly that varies by area too. In this area, even in the parts that have a high AA population, I don't often see boys with cornrows, but out in St. Louis, it seemed more common. I really believe that as CC Mom's to AA kiddos we get that double standard. When people don't agree with what we do, there is more judgement where as if we were an AA parent with an AA kiddo it's just accepted as a family who does things different. For example, if I put Ty's hair in rows (which I want to do) I know for a fact that AA families in this area would look down on that, and I've talked with them about it multiple times. They have fully admitted that they would be more inclined to mention it because I am an CC Mom vs if I was an AA Mom they might notice it, because it wasn't how they cared for their sons hair, but there would be less judgement. As a CC Mom it's almost assumed that if I'm doing it different it's because I'm doing it wrong, or I don't know what I'm doing. As an AA Mom making that choice, it's assumed that's my family preference, or how my brothers were raised etc... Just what I have noticed...there is a lot of stuff wrapped up in hair. Social ques, etc. It's so much more than just a hair cut, or a hair style! I'll admit I wasn't prepared for that. I was prepared to learn to care for the boys hair, and if it was a girl, how to to style. I was aware of the personal parts of hair care especially for AA kids, with self esteem etc. I wasn't as prepared for the mother of the kids in front of me at the apple orchard to comment on Ty's hair line and that I should think about having it cut so it was uniform instead of wavy.

Aclee - We sometimes do that with D's hair. They use an edging tool that is very fine and shaves his hairline so that it is perfectly straight and looks very neat. I'll admit, it looks great when they do that. But I'm surprised that someone would suggest that you necessarily need to do this with a 2-year-old. I would love to hear opinions from Supa, Nick and Sleeplvr. What do you think? I'm only surprised because the tool is very fine and a bit sharp. If D moves, the tool scratches and can leave welts, so I only do it on a day when he's being particularly calm and docile in the chair. It takes time and a fair bit of patience just to make sure that his hair is cut evenly and they don't accidently miss any spots. Only two of the barbers at the shop consistently do a really great job getting D's hair even since he never sits perfectly still. And only one is patient enough to use the edging tool on him right now. 2-year-olds are just prone to making sudden head moves or throwing their head back at a bad moment, so getting a straight edge without gouging is not the easiest thing to do. I only trust Irving to do it and only when D is in a very patient mood. Veggie - In those last pictures of Ella, I though her hair looked wonderful. She's a beautiful girl.

Veggie Girl I did not read into your post that way, but if you feel that I am supposed to be the end all about the babys hair.. then that's not my place. I have no problems giving hair advice or tips here or there. However the subject was on what, picaninnies/stereotypes..not everyday hair grooming by CC mothers. While I get the anxiety as a parent, it gets real old. if I said directly to so and so; man your kiddos hair is messed up I can see an issue. I was making a general comment. Frankly moms, get a thicker skin already, so Black people are actually including you into their community so to speak.. yes some are rude, as any race can be. I had a conversation with another mom this week who was as sweet as pie, but her words were not nice, (passive aggressive) she happened to be White.. so am I supposed to give up on interacting with White people? Learn to deal with different personalities especially with your kid's people. Aclee double standards? what do you think Black mothers/people go through? or mothers period.

My boys still tend to cringe with the clippers. I did not line up my toddler/preschooler boys hair.. their dad cut their hair. I have barbers in my family and you can also go with a natural hair line, still with the clippers but not as severe. Even now I tend to go with the natural hair line.

I'm not trying to comment on the world at large here Nickchris, nor am I trying to comment on who has it hardest or worse or anything else...I'm commenting on hair here...that's what this thread is about. Simply put, when it comes to our AA children's hair, we are checked out more carefully by other AA than a child with an AA parent would be. That's all I'm saying. As far as the hairline thing Oak...I know what it is and I think when Ty gets older, we might think about taking him somewhere that could do that. He has a nice little reverse widows peak right in the center of his forehead :) Right now with all the sensory and tactile defensiveness stuff, we literally have to put the poor thing in a head lock to get his hair cut because he flips out when there is an experience that he can't control like that. But he flips out when I comb his hair too, so it's not like we can grow it out...so we shave it at home, cause I can't put a barber through the process that is cutting Ty's hair. I think if we took him somewhere and they tried to use the sharp tool you describe, Ty would end up with no eyes and maybe no ears too...it just isn't going to happen. I'll admit her son's hair looked much nicer than Ty's, not healthier or anything, but neater...but he was also 8 or 9...maybe older. When Ty gets school age, I'll worry more about his hair style...right now I just try to keep it manageable, conditioned and healthy... Funny story though on the "hair" front...we were at the park, and of course everyone touches my kiddos hair...well a little boy touched Tylers and it just so happened this little boy had wild curly fire engine red hair himself. So Ty looks at him and gets this crazy WOW look on his face and goes up to the little boy and touches HIS hair....and the little boy cried even though Ty was so gentle....I just thought that was hysterical. I mean, I'm sorry the boy cried, but I thought it was great that Ty, who is always touched, got a chance to go experience some other kids hair, and since everyone touches HIS head, he had no concept that it wasn't ok...