Tell me about Respite care

Respite can be for any child in foster care. The FP may just need a break or could go on vacation and not want to take children with them. I have a really good 3year old, that we are putting in respite for 3 days next week, just because I need some time off and want to spend some time with DH alone.

"Respite" is just the foster care world's term for babysitting. It can be for a few hours, a day or two, or a couple weeks. It can be for any reason, really - any of the reasons a typical family would use a babysitter. Perhaps the family needs to take a different child to a doctor's appointment where other children cannot attend. The other children would go to respite. Or perhaps the family has been invited to an adults-only event, like a business dinner or family wedding. The children would go to respite. Or perhaps there has been a family emergency out of state, like a death in the family, or if medical needs of a grandparent have become pressing. If the children can not come (like if they can't get out of state permission so quickly) then the children would go to respite. And if the family just wants some time off and time to be themselves for a while, the children could go to respite. Even parents of healthy children want to go away for a while, but foster children can't be sent to spend the night with a friend, they have to go to respite instead. So just the need for respite does not tell you what needs the children have. They could be typical children who simply aren't invited to whatever the family has going on. They could be high needs children who can not behave themselves during whatever the family has going on. The family could need a break from a very difficult child. It could be anything. Ask the same questions about a respite child that you would ask about a child who was presented as a "real match". All the same concerns and cautions apply no matter how long the child will be with you.

I was contacted for a respite kid. The kid was in a preadoptive family and had many high needs. The agency just wanted to give the family a break when stressed in hopes that it wouldn't lead to a failed placement. When my friend (a foster family) went on vacation, her children went to respite.

We are a respite family only. We used to be foster/adopt parents, but have decided providing respite is really more of a fit for our family. We still get to be involved with kids and help out foster parents who may need a break or just need a babysitter for whatever reason. Yet, we also get a "break" when the kids leave and we can always say no to a respite request if the timing isn't right with our schedule. As mentioned earlier, ask all the same questions you would as if you are getting a "permanent" placement. Sometimes though, especially for very short term respite, some information may get left out. But make sure you at least get the child's CW contact information in case of emergency- even for short periods. If we are asked to do respite for less than a day, I don't normally ask as much about child's behavior and history as when they may be with us for longer periods of time of a week or more. That is only because our son is now 17 and we are not as concerned about safety of younger children. If we had younger children, I would ask to get more information because, as we all know, things can happen in such a short amount of time. We have felt that by providing respite, we know that we are always near the front of the mind of the workers at Children's Division. We just finished with a very unusual "respite" placement involving a teen mom and her child. They could find no one to take them, and we were a last call on the list (because we already had other respite planned for someone else). But I know they remember us because we got a very nice thank you card signed by several people from the children's division (and a very nice thank you letter from the teen mom when she left-which about made me cry).

We use respite when we go on vacation. We want our vacation to be our immediate family only and use it to take a break and unwind from fostering. We take basic kids under 5 years old, so ours are not the high need kids. Respite for us has typically just been "babysitting".

We just were licensed about a month ago. We first did respite for 10 days for a friends kids. Then we were just called last minute to do respite for 6 and 9 yr old girls in treatment care(we are wanting to adopt through the treatment care program). We have 4yr old twin boys and a 7 yr old boy. We are so glad we said yes for these girls for 3nights. They were great. It was a great experience for us. Truthfully we learned so much about ourselves and what kind of kids would most likely fit in our home. So that being said, ask questions about the kids background, but be open to trying respite to see how fostering works. We enjoyed it.

we've had mostly positive experiences doing respite for others. usually the kids honeymoon while they're with you and are behaved, but then again sometimes they will try to get away with things they normally aren't allowed to, or they may try to steal and such since they won't be living with you long term. we just make sure to ask the regular foster parents about stealing and any things they may try to get away with.

Thank you everyone!! Once again you are an awesome group and value all the insights I get from you all! :banana: DH and I discussed and he read this thread (a first! HA!) and we agreed to tell them we are open to hearing any respite opportunities. Likely only weekends would work for us as we are 2 working parent family, unless they happened to be in our school district. mynameismom: I was so glad to read that because that is what I suggested to DH, but wasn't sure if that would be the case. Elk134: It seems like there is quite a bit of "you wash my back, I'll wash yours" in this system, so your comment struck home with me. I would love love love to work with pregnant teens; it's something I have thought about for many years and look forward to doing when our kids get older. DH isn't ready for teens yet!! :(

Another respite question... if you know an FP who needs respite for her FC, can she go directly to you or does it need to go through the local DFS? How does one receive the stipend for these days?thanks.

In our county, the FP can go directly to the respite provider and arrange it. The FP needs to let the CW know where the child is though. Or, if the FP does not know of a respite provider, he/she can go through DFS and the home finder can help arrange respite. To receive the stipend, a respite form is completed and sent to the child's worker. I imagine some counties may be different, but here, both FP and respite provider sign the respite form before it is turned in to the child's worker. Then payment goes through like normal foster maintenance payments.

In our county they can arrange respite with a known other foster parent, but have to "go through CPS" to get the paperwork done and allow that fosterparent to get their respite payment. In other words, I can call my placement worker and say, "I need respite for these dates and Mary said she'd do it."

Respite care in our state (NY) can also mean voluntary placement by the birth parents while an investigation is underway or the children are in the care of CPS. Our FD and FS were removed by CPS and in respite care with us for two weeks before being court ordered into foster care. We had a previous respite placement for a week and a half for a little girl while allegations were investigated concerning her parents. We haven't used respite care for our FKs and have not done respite care since their placement, but it is a great resource if a FP needs a break or is going away and the FKs are not granted permission to go.

in my state, VA, there are two types of respite: Internal and External. Internal is for a child who is already in the foster system and who's foster parents need a "break." This can be hours or days. External is a child who is not officially in the foster system but who's caretaker needs time away (for whatever reason). We took in a baby last summer through external respite because his caretaker thought she might commit suicide and called CPS for help. There's a time limit in VA for external respite: 30 days. After that, the child needs to be reuinified or enter the foster system. Respite can be a nice was to provide a break for a foster family :) I currently have a sibling set of 3 and I LOVE my respite care family!! Hope this helps ;)

In our area I have had my friends (who are NOT FP's) go through the back ground check and become respite providers specifically to take my kiddos while we go away. We are currently working to get a friend respite licensed to take my 3 when we go camping in June. They have to have background check, TB test, CPR. Also, if we want the state to pay for respite we have to work through our CW to have the paperwork filled out before. Even if we don't have the state pay we still need paperwork to have the child placed with respite.

In my county we can arrange it ourselves and just let the CW know. We don't have to do any paperwork or anything. They do the paperwork to make sure the right person gets paid for the nights the child is in respite. I've done respite for my dd's sisters and one of their foster moms has done respite for me. I wanted her to be with people she already knew and spend time with her sisters.