Indirect ways life has improved since reunion?

I wrote the above to cheer myself up. I just think that whether your reunion went well or not, there are often a lot of good things that may have come out of the reunion or even the search indirectly. By the way, can you call it a reunion when your brelatives never knew you existed until you contacted them LOL? Actually, my reunion went very well, my uncles and cousins are lovely kind people (it would have been nice to meet my bmother & bsisters (all passed away) but you can't always have everything)

Hi Cath, Sorry I missed this yesterday... I now know my face and body fits and what it is like see all of my traits reflected back to me. Not just physical traits of height, size, coloring, bone structure but also specific mannerisms, alike personalities and interests. Seeing how genetic mirroring also applies to me even though I was raised in a totally different environment and culture. Genetics does play a large part of who we are. I also believe that some adoptive families down play this more than may be good and bio families who have always had it - don't recognise it like I do. Kind regards,Dickons

Hi Dickons, Though facially I am a bit different to my bmother; from the neck down, I seem almost identical (well arms and legs anyway) and I think the way we stand is similar (I think after 30 years, it is the overall appearance you remember rather than the actual facial features so I think that is why I have been told I look so much like her). I don't know enough yet about whether we have similar personalities, mannerisms etc but hope to learn more about that. I do find though when I learn about things she has done, I feel instinctively I know why she has done some of them. I am looking forward to learning more about her. Also, I have always wondered with those (mostly older) adoptive mothers who didn't have sex before marriage, how many of them were grateful for being able to adopt a baby but deep down disapproved of their child's bmother. Even though I have no idea if that is how my amother feels, I have always wondered that. I think if you are someone's genetic child and you misbehave, parents are more able to accept it/understand it, eg they can say to their spouse, "she is just like you when she does that" LOL. I always felt my aparents probably blamed my bmother for any bad habits/traits I had/have (I blame my unknown bfather myself LOL). Do your half siblings look as much like their mother as you do? Hope things are continuing to improve healthwise for you, Dickons. (I hope you got the last pm I sent you)

Hi Cath, Yes I did but got distracted and forgot to answer you - my mind can be a sieve at times... I think many (older generation) adoptive mothers who like you said were virgins did feel that way. I am sure my mom did but she tried very hard to not show it - although she was very vocal on what was the right way... I see my mannerisms and likeness mirrored in both sides of my family. At my family reunion most of the time I was simply watching them seeing the different facets of me reflected back. I see similarities in my siblings but because we are halfs - only parts. As to bio parents/understanding. Absolutely one or the other parent will remember acting out at that age or thinking the same things...down to being a tomboy or a daredevil. Hubby is constantly told his nephew is a replica of him at that age... When is the family reunion? Take care,Dickons

Hi Dickons, The reunion is in October, they are hoping to get about 3000 people! I seem to recall my sex education consisting of a book about the facts of life and my amother saying "no sex before marriage" LOL. I remember always thinking that there was a subtext of "or you will end up like your bmother". However, as I think my amum would have said exactly the same if I had been her natural daughter, then I think I was probably hearing things that weren't there if you know what I mean. The thing is, I think there was probably nothing my bmother would have liked more than to be married with lots of children but things didn't quite work out that way. I do sometimes wonder if her life had been different whether she would have lived longer.

Indirect things - i remember noticing a lot of little things as they came about, but now I can't really remember now LOL I really learned a lot about search engines on the internet! It got me a side job searching for hard to find parts and things needed for specialty vehicles. At the interview when asked if I knew about searching for things on the internet - I laughed a little and said, I guess I do, I just found my parents on the internet, and when I started my search I didn't even know their names. With happy big eyes he said 'hired!" I don't work there anymore, but the guy still calls me to search for things and complain about current employees that 'just can't seem to find chit' LOL After finding my mom, I happened to start visiting the nursing home with some of the kids from big bros and sisters who's family members were there. My MIL stayed there before she passed, and I used to hate going there everyday, I was very glad I didn't have to go anymore. But a few years later, and after I reunited, I found I really liked hanging out with the older people, close to my mothers age, and hearing all their stories. I've made some really close, wise and interesting friends there. I go at least once a week. I'm over-welcomed. If you ever feel like you want to be mothered a little... it's a grand place to go LOL All those things that were seen as odd or troubled or even wrong about me, are completely normal and expected in my fathers side of the family, no big deal, hardly even noticed, or laughed about with love. That gave me a whole new indirect outlook on everything. I am as I should be. ha!:p

Hi BethVA62, Thank you for offering your insights. How long have you been in reunion? I agree about the internet, I have found that I am pretty good at looking things up. I tend to use Google (because I can filter Australian/NZ content with them) and though I have tried other search engines, I note that they haven't been able to find some of the info I have found on Google. I do remember really liking Kartoo but note it no longer exists. Which ones do you recommend? I've heard of "Big brothers and sisters", we have that here as well. I have thought of volunteering but I don't drive (had licence once but expired, can't really afford a car), is that usually an impediment? My mother lives in a retirement village and when I first moved up here where I live now, I stayed with her for a little while and got to know a lot of her friends and found them very interesting to talk to. When I used to go and watch her sing in the retirement village choir, I used to feel like I had gone back to the 1940s LOL. I don't know yet how similar I am to all my relatives in outlook etc as it has only been 3 months but I am looking forward to finding out. I am taking each day as it comes. There are still a couple of relatives I haven't met and I am happy to leave it up to them to contact me when they are ready (I will probably meet them all in October anyway), I don't like pushing myself onto anyone. NB: Re Kartoo. I wonder whether Google bought them out as I have noticed since Friday that Google has changed their set up and now have something called a "wonderwheel" which is very similar to Kartoo's set up.