Are there any good stories out there?

Very funny! I don't often see humor on these boards, I like it. :banana: And, given your criteria, we made it :woohoo: :happydance: We are a "good" story! yeah

mine started off a little bumpy but only because me and hubby are first time parents and we matched with 9 yr old twin boys. We all had to go thru the transition period but as of next week they will be with us 3 months and we couldnt be happier with their progress :) They were identified in the special needs/theraputic category so there was a learning curve. But with great resources - therapists, activities, adjust of meds - we are doing great now!

If you adopt an older child you can expect a brief or extended honeymoon, followed by a long period of testing. My ds tested from about the second week. But now a year and a half later I can say that it was all worth it. I feel that he is our son 100%. I love him a great deal. It has been a long journey and will continue to be filled with difficult times like any family, but we keep rolling with the punches and moving forward. The good times outway the bad. Our ds son has opened up a whole new world to us, filled with toys, Chucky Cheese, birthday parties, the zoo, karate classes, kindergarten, preschool, baseball games, hockey games, etc.

I would adopt my first two kids again (they were 10 and 11 on placement). They were not easy but they were rewarding, though they are, at 19 and 20, not where I had hoped. I would call that a happy ending. My younger set of three included 2 with RAD and I would not go back and adopt them again, even though the youngest is almost completely normal.

I'd say just be sure your older adopted child is your youngest child. We adopted out of birth order and now see the wisdom in the caution against it.We have quite a bit of what Crick doesn't have in her family((so glad she doesn't))

Lyssie - I can imagine the difficulties if you are having some of the more "HOLY CARP!" moments and situations! If you need/want some support or just venting room, the Special Needs Adoption board are great listeners.:) MyForever - I think without humor, no one could raise a family! I don't have so much in the way of the "HOLY CARP!" moments as I mentioned above, but as with any family, we aren't perfect. And I can remember our first year only if pleasantly drunk...so that says something?;)

I'm with some of the other people on the board, as we are entering this journey, it can be overwhelming to hear all the stats and stories of woes to come. I know it won't be easy all the time. I think my husband and I have done a lot to prepare, cuz even as first time parents we have a lot of kid experience through mentorinng kids/teens. I've worked at an RTC as a houseparent for 3 years and I'm a behavior therapist during the week. From the best I can tell, it looks like every kid is different and the situations vary as much as the rules on what older kids will be like. But these kids have been through abuse, trauma and neglect so part of our job and joy as parents will be helping them heal and undo the coping behaviors they gained as a way to survive and teach them healthier ways to live. (am i right?) I explained it to the adoption lady, that there's 6,000 kids in Texas ready to be adopted. I can't take all of em. I just need two or three who won't hate us, destroy our house, us or themselves. It doesn't even have to be statistically probable at that point... just three out of 6,000 that will be a good match. SO reading your posts help me remember that that's doable and a reality for so many. THANKS.

I am a single (never married) homeschooling mother of four siblings I adopted in 2006, and we are the "quintessential" example of success (thank the Lord!). The social workers said my children were the most "intact" ones they'd ever seen come through their system, even though (of course) each one was considered "special needs" because of age, background, abuse, neglect, PTSD, etc. They are two boys and two girls (fully biological), and are now 8, 12, 13, 16. I do more "theraputic parenting" according to therapists and SW's who have worked with us. I got myself trained in the needs of foster children ready for adoption, and also learned everything I could about the legal process they were thrown into. Every waiting period (in placement) and "delay" I used to my advantage, in preparation for their arrival. I only initially wanted two sisters, but 11 months later their two little brothers suddenly & unexpectedly needed a home, and I just couldn't say no to keeping them all together. (They remembered being with the birthparents, and were a very bonded sibling set.) Contact me privately for more questions. Be happy to answer them. I counsel with couples and singles all the time who want to talk to people with "good stories" just like you originally posted. Here I am!!

We've had our sibling set of 4 older kids adopted from foster care for 2 & 3 years now. While adoptive parenting is a whole different ballgame, and we've had all sorts of challenges to work through, we love them SOOO much. I consider ours a very happy adoption story.

Yes, Gospel -- you're exactly right. You're helping the children "undo" all the learned behaviors that help them cope with abuse/neglect, and ease the pain. That's the "hospitalization" aspect as I call it. (I'm their nurse...God is their Great Physician). Then they go to rehab therapy (adoption -- aftermath) where a new life is built -- where acceptance turns anger & fear into hope and possibility. You're going to do great!

We are adopting a sibling group of three brothers and the oldest is giving us a good run of it. But we are up to the challenge and I wouldn't change a thing. When we were starting the process and doing research, it struck me too how many negative stories there were. Sheesh - there was even a really stupid horror movie out about a murderous foster kid. I don't know why the internet seems to breed negativity - but it does. I'm really glad to see that you have an open mind!! For every negative story, there are probably ten very happy families who are too busy being devoted to their kids to have the time to share their story. But we're very excited and thankful that we are blessed with our boys every day - even on the more challenging days. Oh - sidenote. A friend of mine was complaining about fingerprints from her kids on her windows "all the time". I told her I leave mine up - I love them!! It's a sign that my house is full of curious happy little kids. I couldn't wait to have those fingerprints on my windows, furniture, walls, wherever!! So that just goes to show you, one woman's complaint is another's joy. :woohoo:

We adopted 4 children between the ages of 5-9 and we have major issues with each one of them. We also have 3 biological children so we expected issues but our issues were so unexpected- we had an incident of sexual molestation from one adopted child to our bio child, all four have had issues with abuse towards my husband and I and I am disabled, there are so many issues it's crazy and now most of our family doesn't talk to us because our adopted children are great at lying and family is believing everything they say and not what we are saying- it's very hurtful. My husband and I and our other children are not the same people we were- please rethink- u have read a lot of negative things because there are a lot of those things going on. Good luck- bless u and ur family!

This previous post makes me so sad and a bit angry. I am not sure how things are done when/where you adopted Shampm, but here in Houston there were no surprises. We had so much paperwork and notes from teachers, caregivers, therapists, as well as the foster parents before we accepted the match. We knew what we were getting our family into and yes it's been extremely hard work, but so worth it. I just hope that you and your family is reaching out to get the help that you all need. There are all sorts of services available to you through CPS. And I agree with you on one thing, me and my husband and other child are not the same either since adopting our three precious little boys.... THANKS TO GOD!

I work at a small clinic (less than ten employees) and last December, God brought another therapist to us who was also going through the adoption process... and we were pretty much at the same point all through this year. It's been an amazing support, as we've laughed together (especially about how whenever she wants or needs something, people always seem to be on vacation) and we've cried together in times of frustration... we've supported eachother and encouraged eachother and it's been amazing. :D Last month, they met their children - after being warned of all the things it'd be doubtful for the children to do (bond, sleep through the night, good behavior, etc) but ya know... it's been amazing for them. There were the other professionals who'd said the kids woudl thrive and be successful in a loving but structured home, and ya know what THOSE were the ones that were right. Suuuure, they are in the first month, and we'll see how things go from here... but my friends KNOW that they know they've made the right decision and can help the kids through whatever comes up. I know it's not my story, but it's the sweetest thing to watch this family comming together and thriving. I've got a kinship placement with my now 17yro godson, and we had some bumps along the way and got to define what disrespect meant to me, make fancy rules like "we do our homework EVERY day" which then turned into "i don't care if you get credit for this assignment or not, you WILL do your homework". :D It's a learning process... the kid/s learn alot and you'll learn a lot as parents. There's been times when he has been a pill, but... at a year from placement looking back and all the growth, healing and changes that have been made this year are AMAZING!!! He went from not passing most classes to now being 4pts away from teh AB honor roll, attendance is drastically better, his overall attitude is better and he now talks about a future where before he couldnt even think of it. Sure it's gonna be hard, but I'm in the same boat your guys are and as we're waiting for our match, I have to hold onto hope that older child adoption doesn't have to be catostrophic and dismal. :D

We're a year and a half in now, and while it's been challenging, it's also been so rewarding!