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DH and I are licensed foster parents, but we recently were told that our state agency isn't likely to do anything to match us with an adoptable child. If our foster daughter's case goes to adoption, then they'd work with us to have us adopt her. But as far as other kids in their care, it seems that most either go home, get adopted by their own foster parents, or go to a relative. I was told to turn to a private agency, even to adopt an older child. I was under the impression that if I wanted to adopt an older child from foster care, this would be free or nearly free. But if I'm going through a private agency, there will be fees involved.We're tired of waiting around. We pursued private adoption of a baby for over a year before becoming foster parents. We've been fostering our darling little girl for 8 months. And throughout we've also been visiting photolistings and heart galleries and submitting inquiries about various children, but none have resulted in anything. Most kids outside our state they don't want to send out of state, it seems. At least that's what we've been told, even for some kids listed on adoption photolisting, which is an interstate listing.I'm at my wits end. Can anyone just tell me who to sign up with so we can adopt already?Provided we could meet the child and interact with them prior to making a committment (I'm thinking of adoption match parties here), our criteria are for a Hispanic or multiracial child with up to minimal medical, behavioral, or emotional needs, up to age 10 or so (still in elementary school), and possibly siblings within this range. Honestly, I've inquired about older kids and sib sets of 3, but without meeting the children, it's hard to commit without having first hand knowledge of the age group or number of kids. Basing our decision solely on information given by their worker and a gut reaction to their photo, I tend to err on the side of caution. The last thing I want is to place a child in a situation of a disrupted adoption. I want to make sure we mesh. Our "criteria" is really just guidelines based on the sort of abstract decisions we've had to make without knowing the child.For instance, our foster daughter, Baby V - we love her to pieces, and if it turned out she had more needs than we expected, or a sibling out there also in need of a home, we wouldn't think twice about adopting her anyway. But we are already vested in her emotionally. Any advice? Agency suggestions you can PM me? We're in northern Virginia.:thankyou:
Last update on November 17, 9:47 am by Sachin Gupta.
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This is how we adopted our children. We went through a private agency who had a "waiting child" program. Our fees were very minimal and all court costs were reimbursed. I want to say our fees, including the homestudy was around 3-4k, which then was reimbursed with the tax credit.The way it worked for us was the agency would receive profiles of kids waiting for families and they would go through those to "match" up with families they had. We had certain "criteria" as does everyone and the agency based matches on those profiles. Our agency notified us about our kids asking if we'd be interested in learning more. We read a tiny little profile and said Yes to more info. Then we met the kids' social worker who could tell us a lot more in detail about the kids. From there we met our oldest son's preschool teachers, had a phone conference with the therapist, and also talked to the social worker that pulled the kids from the home both times it happened. THEN we met the kids and that was ONLY after the social worker was convinced that A. we were a good match, and B. we were serious about adopting them. (more of a sure thing than not I guess)We had a lot of visits before bringing them home but really, none of that prepares you for the actual move in experience. lol! It helps...but it's still just a leap of faith in many ways, kwim?We never went to a "match fair" or anything like that. We had our own caseworker from the agency who was our advocate and this was very helpful! She came to the visits with us the first 2 times and offered her feedback. Also came with us to meet the panel of people involved in the kids' case.Our kids were just about legally free when we met them and were in the appeal period of the TPR. Let me know if you have any other questions you want to know about.
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crick - thanks! did your kids' agency offer purchase of service that would reimburse your agency's fees? How long did you wait to be matched? Did your agency suggest other kids you didn't pursue further? How long between getting the initial match and meeting your kids and bringing them home?
The county the kids were in did not pay any service fees of the agency. However, the state reimbursed the court costs and some ppwk fees. We signed with agency in late January & they sent us the profile of our kids in mid April. By the first of May we were doing the meets with the sw & team. Had our first meeting with the kids in late May, just before Memorial Day weekend.Kids moved in permanently on August 1st.The agency provided 2 other possible profiles during the Jan-April timeframe. They did wait a bit while we were taking our classes because I think that helped them feel us out more on what we were really about, kwim? We got to know each other then.Another positive I'll throw out there for you to check into with an agency is lifetime support. It's almost 8 years now and I can call them any time for advice. They also have a support group and outings they do (family picnics, dinners, amusement park outings etc.) with all the families that have adopted through them. Our wait was shorter than a lot of people's due to our desire to adopt a sibling group. Granted we said TWO and we have FOUR, but the agency director had us pegged right and we did indeed fall in love with them!
thanks again, Crick. Oh, were there any major surprises with your kids that you were not made aware of during the initial match or in talking with the various folks involved? for better or for worse?
I'm worried about interpreting some of these descriptions they give. I tend to err on the side of caution, and I'm afraid that they will always give warnings to cover their butt, and I'll end up never matching bc no worker will tell you "oh, no issues, perfect angel, anxious to move in with you". kwim?
I tend to err on the side of caution, and I'm afraid that they will always give warnings to cover their butt, and I'll end up never matching bc no worker will tell you "oh, no issues, perfect angel, anxious to move in with you".
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Alright, I'm going to make a call to the private agency given to me by the adoption worker in my county regarding adopting an older waiting child in our state.
Should there be any problems with them working with us because of distance? We seem to be on opposite ends of the same state, but we're willing to pay for travel expenses if they need to reassess our house or what not.
Also, might we be able to roll over some of the info in our current homestudy (either the foster care or the adoption one)? At least the medical stuff? I do not want to pass out getting bloodwork done AGAIN.
Our journey was a bit different. We went through foster training with an agency that handles children that the state considers Level 2 or above. DCS only provides for the children who are considered Level 1, and finds agencies that specialize in particular emotional issues/physical issues/etc. for children ranked assessed above Level 1. We were trained to be theraputic foster parents, and we made sure that the agency knew we were fostering to adopt.
To understand, the levels here in our state are something like this:
Level 1 - Minimal emotional/physical issues. Little to no special or therapeutic needs.
Level 2 - Some emotional or physical struggles. Some special or therapeutic needs.
Level 3 - A good bit of emotional or physical struggles. A good bit of special or therapeutic needs.
Level 4 - Inpatient care needed
G came to us for respite the day we were approved to foster, and he was considered a Level 3 (due to his circumstances at the time) with Level 1 emotional behaviors. We would say, after living together for almost 2 years, that G is what would be considered a Level 2-3 for behaviors.
Since the agency we used contracts with the state directly, we fostered G through them, and they wrote up the adoption contract, etc., all the way through finalizing. Adopting G cost us nothing. Our home study cost us nothing. We were paid by the agency for fostering, and now receive an adoption subsidy through the state itself.
Maybe there are agencies in your area that contract with the state like this? If so, the classes, the homestudy and the adoption should cost you nothing.
Hope you bring your child home soon. :D