Is this Sexual or not???

I would be very, very concerned if I were you! This IS sexual and (imho) she's baiting your dh. She has the potential for putting your family in the middle of a huge investigation! You need to be reporting it to her cw and therapist (to protect your family) and possibly even have her moved.The things that your fd say will trump whatever you or your dh say, unfortunately. Our family has been through false allegations and believe me, they are horrific.

Oh yes. Document, report, and never have your husband alone with her.

I agree and would add that at 13 she should be spoken to directly about this. I would speak to her with your DH and the CW present and be clear that this is not acceptable. Do it in a loving way, but firm. We did this when our 18 yr old FD started telling people that my DH thought she was hot and that he wrestled with her. (The truth was, he told her she was a pretty girl and did not need to settle for any old guy that would have her. the wrestling was made up and she admitted that) We addressed it, she cried, it stopped and we never had another problem. But, just in case we did, our butts were covered! Also, after this was out in the open she shared with me that she had been sexually abused by several people. She had never told anyone.

Please listen to Stephanie and the others. This is sexual and it is dangerous for your family. Make sure you have notified the cw and therapist before you say anything to her. She may well react with anger and decide to "tell on" your dh to get back at you.It would be a good idea to have a rule that she does not enter your bedroom and your dh does not enter hers -- not even with other people.Also, make sure that she is not alone in the car with dh - go with them or send another child along as a chaperone.

If she is doing this only to your husband, or even predominantly to him, I would assume that at some point an adult male taught her that men like this. She was taught that sex is a way to get attention and approval. This is learned behavior and it can be unlearned. Tell her under no uncertain terms that this behavior is not appropriate. Your husband must be firm with her. Every time she does or says something sexual to him, he needs to redirect her. She needs to be taught the appropriate way to interact with men. This will be vital to her older teenage years and adulthood. Your husband needs to redirect her by moving her hand and saying something like "This is a better way to interact with your dad" and sit her up or hug her appropriately or whatever. When she said that he was waiting on the bed to sing, I would say “Yes, the family was waiting to sing happy birthday to you because we are glad you are a part of our family.” Don’t make too big a deal out of it. He must be conscious at all times of the fact that she is sexualized. Never hold her in his lap or lie on the bed or couch with her. While those things would be fine with an unsexualized child, with her, it will be interpreted in the wrong way. It may take a while, but with repeated and consistent redirection, she will learn what is ok.