facilitator in VA

Hi all. We are in VA and are aware that we cannot go through an adoption facilitator bc they're not regulated here. Our attorney won't work with us if we go through a facilitator, and our support group for independent adoption also is discouraging us. However, one of the families did contact us privately to tell us that they used a facilitator, and that the loophole is that if we finalize in the child's sending state (if that state allows us to), we can do that. We have spent 2 years pursuing independent adoption with 4 fall-throughs; we've been foster parents to our Baby V for 10 months, but she's now going home to mom next week; using a facilitator to adopt is our last stop in domestic adoption (bc we're now hoping for a toddler rather than a newborn, and no adoption agency we've come across works with kids this age). If we cannot adopt via a facilitator, we are moving on to international adoption. So I'd really appreciate any general feedback on adopting through a facilitator. Also, if anyone has any specific information or experience with Lifetime Adoption Facilitator based out of California ([url]www.lifetimeadoptions.com)[/url], please PM me. My main concern is being able to find attorneys to work with us once we have a match through Lifetime, presumably in the child's sending state, so there's no way for us to research this ahead of time since Lifetime works nationwide. :thanks: ed: Lifetime has a list of "birthparents seeking adoptive families" on their website, which I now found out is a sample representation, but they have almost always listed kids that fall into our age category, which is why we are looking into them. If you may know of an adoption agency that does work with 1-2 year olds, please PM me that info (and I already know foster care is out of the question unless we are prepared for some serious special needs, which we're not, or if we foster first, which after going through our current heartbreak with Baby V we are unwilling to do again.)