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This may sound strange, but why do agencies with Poland programs describe Polish children available for adoption as having blonde hair and blue eyes?
I am Polish, and I have brown hair and eyes, as does my entire father's side of the family. And I am married to a Latino who is also brown haired/eyed, and frankly, we want what a lot of parents want - for our kids to at least remotely look like us. So we want our child to have brown hair and eyes.
Now, we've been pursuing a domestic independent adoption of a Hispanic child for 2 years, and the past year also through foster care, and haven't yet been successful. Therefore, we are turning to international. My DH's native country's program has been closed for some time, and what's more, we may be relocating to Germany for three years next year, so we'd like to adopt while there and therefore adopt more "locally", ie. from Poland - my native country.
So am I to believe these agencies that are an ocean away from the country, yet do have years of experience with adoptions from Poland, that most referrals that we'd get from Poland would be for blonde/blue eyes kids? Or is this somehow what they think most PAPs are looking for so they just write that?
Anyone know where they get off saying essentially that "all Polish kids have blonde hair and blue eyes"?
(But please don't lecture me on not getting fixated on the physical appearance of the child. We have been back and forth over this for several years, and the heart wants what it wants, and I am done making excuses for what I want, which is for our kids to not have to explain everywhere they go why they don't look like their parents.)
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I have blond hair/blue eyes and my ex-husband is hispanic. Both my kids have brown hair (though my daughter's has reddish blond highlights) and my ex-husband's green eyes. Where a Mexican man got green eyes from his family will never know, but it must be a recessive throwback from generations ago. We're thinking of fostering and/or adopting children in about a year (so for now I'm learning all I can) and my main concern is how they'll fit in our family and what level of need I can handle while still managing my bio-kids' disabilities. I've never really thought about how their looks will fit into this. One more thing to ponder, I guess.....
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The genetics of eye and hair color are controlled by more than one gene. It is quite possible for 2 dark hair, dark eye parents to have a child that is complete opposite of them. A very good friend of mine and her husband both have brown hair, brown eyes, dark skin and their oldest daughter has fair skin, blue eyes and strawberry blond hair. When here daughter was 6 months old, we were at a restaurant and I was holding her daughter so she could eat. A gentleman came up and asked if she was mine (I have red hair, blue/green eyes and fair skin). We both laughed afterward. Their 2nd daughter is dark hair, skin and eyes. I've known other families where the parents are dark and have fair skin, redhead child. My Polish grandfather had red hair and blue eyes. His son, my father, had dark brown hair and green eyes. My mother's brother's wife is Polish and has brown hair and eyes. My husband and I have visited Poland several times and have seen a variety of looks.
Even if you and your husband had a child that shared your genetics there no gaurantee that they will have dark hair and eyes.
Good luck with your decision and journey.
I think potentially they are marketing. However, many of the kids in the orphanage we visited did have light brown or blond hair. Though there were a few that had darker hair. I didn't really pay attention to eye color though.
Both my husband and I have brown hair and my son has light brown hair. Our polish daughter has blond hair - albeit curly, just like mine:) A few weeks ago someone with either a Polish or Russian accent was complimenting me on how wonderful my daugher did on the plane ride. The lady said we looked exactly alike, except she had blond hair and I had brown hair. My daughter smiled and said, "we both have curly hair."
I would say don't worry about this so much, since it seems the Polish authorities really try to match kids so that they look like their adoptive families. I know it seems strange but everyone really says how close their kids really look like them.
I hope it goes well for you.
It's because the brown hair, brown eyes genes are dominant that it's possible for people with dark hair and eyes to have blue eyed and blond children. Because the genes are dominant you only need one. So just as someone stated a lot of brown haired people also carry a blond gene, so if both parents pass on blond genes they will have a blond haired child.
I have brown hair and hazel eyes. My mom had blond hair and blue eyes. My husband has blond hair and blues eyes, so it would actually be very likely that we would have blond hair and/or blue eyed children, since my husband can only pass along those genes, and I have both.
Just when I thought I've reprogrammed myself for all the old wives-tales I grew up on!
GCS - I have seen the diagrams you speak of, just not in relation to hair/eyes. So it makes perfect sense, and this also explains why my nephew, who currently has blue eyes but we're waiting to see if they change, may stay with with blue eyes! His mom has blue eyes, and according to this Bb pattern, his dad may have passed on the b gene bc his dad has brown eyes but his mom has green eyes... ah, it's all coming together. In the same vein, if DH and I were to have bio kids, they would have brown eyes, though, bc only one grandparent (between the four bios, that is) does not have brown eyes... right?
I wonder what other assumptions about the world I'm carrying around that are not based in fact. :prop:
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Both of my parents have brown eyes ... and had one blue eyed and one brown eyed child. I am the brown eyed child ... and both my bio sons are blue eyed. My sister (the blue eyed one) has two bio sons, both with brown eyes.
Honestly, my bio sons look very, very little like me. Both are blond, I have brown hair. Both are blue eyed, I have brown eyes. I also have two AA sons and two NA daughters :) in the scheme of life, appearance makes zero difference in raising a child.
HA HA HA!!! Oh this was good.I can't answer the question, as I don't recall that.However, had to share ~ my daughters (bios) look EXACTLY like their father, there is no question, although who their mother is could be a toss up.I'm half Mexican, and the children that look like me came from POLAND. Fair skin, dark hair, medium eyes. When the six of us are out and about the comments are predictable. To the girls people say, "You look exactly like your father!" And to the boys people say, "You look exactly like your mother!"
What's interesting is that, when people say that your kids look like you, they aren't necessarily referring to genetically transmitted characteristics like hair and eye color. Sometimes, even when a child is of a different race, that child picks up your mannerisms, often very subtle ones, and people watching the child unconsciously notice those mannerisms and say that the child "looks" like you, when in fact, he "acts" like you.
I am White and of Eastern European Jewish descent. My daughter is Chinese. I have light brown hair and greenish brown eyes; my skin is very fair and I burn easily. Becca has very dark, almost black, hair and very dark brown eyes; while she is on the light side, she has just enough sallowness in her skin that she tans pretty easily. I am, alas, quite stout these days, while Becca is thin and petite. We look nothing alike, although Becca's eyes are fairly large, like mine. When Becca was younger, I was often told, and definitely not in jest, that we look alike. Acquired gestures were almost certainly the reason.
I believe in "adoption genetics". Your adopted child WILL come to resemble you, or even some of your ancestors whom she/he has never met. My mother died in the year that Becca was born, and my daughter never got to know her. Yet Becca has a "word sense" that is so much like my mother's that it is uncanny.
Sharon
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"adoption genetics" - I've often thought about that. I mean, people say dogs start to look like their owners, so why on earth wouldn't kids, right?
Speaking of which, we have two dogs, and while I wouldn't say they "look" like us, their personalities are certainly ours. The girl is like her pet-daddy - laid back, never gets upset, likes everyone. The boy is like his pet-mommy (me) - defensive, high-strung, but very cuddly on his own terms. People always go to pet the boy, bc he's smaller, but often ignore the girl. I've had to start putting a muzzle on him to send people a warning, especially kids that'll just walk right up to him to pet him without asking or waiting for him to approach.
But I digress. Soon after I met my now husband, one of my closest friends noted that I changed my laugh - that I now laugh like him! So I guess there is certainly some truth to the adoption genetics.
And if anyone's interested in an update, I decided not to fixate on the brown hair/eyes thing anymore. Both in light of the genetics lessons I've gotten here, and in light of the adoption genetics idea. But especially bc it was not in line with my resolution to be open to the child or children God has in mind for me. I've stood in my own way for long enough :)
Brown eyes are dominate...so if you have the brown eyed gene your eyes will be brown. As we all have a gene from each parent a brown eyed person can have a blue eyed gene and a brown eyed gene (will have brown eyes) if two brown eyed parents who each have one blue eyed gene have children...some children will inherit 2 blue eyed genes...therefore blue eyes. Brown eyed Parents with blue eyed kids.I am the mom to 2 adopted children...my son is brown eyed and we both have blue eyes...most people are surprised when they learn he was adopted...he does not look like us but every else thinks he does :love:Laurie mom to 2 lovely kids
I'm glad you decided to not fixate on the hair and eye color thing. I can respect that you want your child to be the same race as you. It was not important for me but I get why some don't want to answer questions about your kids. I'm CC and my adopted children are black. Both of my kids were born with blue eyes. They now have super light brown/hazel eyes. You just never know.
Oh, and my mom has brown eyes, and my dad has hazel eyes and all three of my sibs have blue eyes. I'm the only brown eye girl in the family.
And even with children who are a different race than I am, I STILL get people telling me how much my kids look like me. It's not really eye, skin or hair color that makes one look like a parent. It tends to be facial features.
Anilorak, it is very simple.Dark: dominant. Light: recessive.Suppose you have one Dark and one Light gene. You are showing the Dark (dominant) one. So your eyes are dark in color.Suppose your husband has the same combo. He also has dark eyes.Now suppose you have a biological offspring. He or she will inherit one gene from each of you. In the above-mentioned case, he or she will have a probability of 25% to inherit the recessive gene from each one of you. What color will his or her eyes then be in this case?A white biological child to black parents is the same, and it does happen!P.S.: My parents (now aged 99 and 90): brown and blue eyes. Me: green-grey (changing - funny, but true). My wife: brown. Her sister (full bio): blue. Both our (now adult) children: blue eyes. A rainbow-eyed family. This is how Genetics works.
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Is this the biology forum?
It is important to note that Poland adoptions are not first come, first served. They have adoption panels that place children with families that have common traits. I think it would be nieve to think that looks don't play into the calculation but i'm sure it is way down on the depth chart and might only be a tiebreaker. Consider how many families are waiting to adopt and that you are required to send family pictures with your dossier and it's only natural that is becomes a factor. It is probably easier for the child if they look like they are a natural family member, be it right or wrong. Many orphans have bonding issues so every little bit might help especially the older they are.
There is more to looking like someone than eyes and hair color. I know many people who look like a parent and yet do not share the same eye or hair color. I can't imagine a child will bond better to someone who shares their eye color.
Heck, my children are black and I'm white yet I'm told ALL the time that my kids look exactly like me. Their facial features actually do, even though their hair, eyes and skin don't match mine.