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I am a 33 year old married mother of 3. I was adopted from Colombia in 1981. My adopted mom and I never really saw eye to eye, and I never felt like I fit into they're family. I've wanted to find my birth mother for man years, started tryin to look about 8 years ago, but then my life took over, (having babies). But since then my adopted mother and I have somewhat estranged from eachother. I want to find my birth mother so badly. I want to see where I came from, and if I'm like her, if my kids are..... I just don't know where to start. I have this empty feeling and I need to fill it. Can anybody help me?
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Dear Dylan99,Major life events like having children can have all kinds of impact on adoptees and their adoptive families. I can understand how feeling estranged from your adoptive mom would prompt strong feelings of loneliness. And your desire to find your birth family is very commonly felt among many adoptees and is sometimes prompted by major life events such as having children. And the idea of searching internationally can feel overwhelming - sort of like the main character in film, Bladerunner - where to start in this big, complicated world? The following Inter-Country Adoptee Support Network (ICASN) has some resources regarding Colombian adoptees [URL="http://www.icasn.org/resources.html"]RESOURCES[/URL] - they also have a Facebook group and a Yahoo Group. There are also many USA-based resources listed at the back of the book, "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton - maybe through her book you might be able to find a local post-adoption support group so you can meet other adoptees in person. I hope this information helps. And there are many supportive people on adoption.com - I hope that at least knowing this friendly bunch will help ease the sense of being alone in your search journey. I do know that in one of the states of Australia, there are at least 10 people each week actively searching (as per the feedback from one of the local post-adoption support centers). So as far as searching, there are many others at least in 'Down Under Land' who are launching on search journeys - you're in vast company!
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Glad to hear that at least your partner is trying to understand. Here's an article from a post-adoption resource centre in Sydney about partners of adoptees. [URL="http://www.bensoc.org.au/uploads/documents/IS19_Partners_of_Adoptees_201006052.pdf"]http://www.bensoc.org.au/uploads/documents/IS19_Partners_of_Adoptees_201006052.pdf[/URL]