Foster Care Adoption in PA

Hi Lyn10...and congrats on being almost finished! One thing you didn't mention was race. Are you willing to consider AA? I know in the Philly area there are a number of African American kids that may fit within your criteria and that will increase your chances. I will tell you, individual girls, available under the age of 10, will likely have moderate behavioral issues (at minmum). And yes, it may take a year to be matched, given your criteria; however, no matter your criteria or length of time it takes to be matched, it will be an emotional and bumpy ride. There are typically more boys than girls available at those ages, but it is possible! We are currently 1 of 4 families considered for an 8yr old Caucasian girl (but I think her needs are just slightly higher thanyour criteria) and a 10yr old Caucasian girl as a fost to adopt situation - who would fall into your criteria. We are pursuing the 10yr old and will drop out of consideration for the 8yr old. With our other placements, each one took at least 6 months to be matched and we had broader criteria than yours - so it still took a descent amount of time. For our second placement, because we wanted a girl younger than my son, we expanded our search to within the US (and it still took 6 months). Good luck and do as much selling of your family as possible. Attend all the matching events, build relationships with various workers from various counties/other agencies, send out flyers, inquire/make phone calls as much as possible on posted kids you are interested in, etc.

We are just starting the process in PA. I'm curious about what you mean by sending flyers out? Who do you send them to and what information do they contain? Are you working through the county or the agency?

a flyer is a one page paper that contains a picture of your family/couple and a paragraph summary to attrack a caseworker to look further into your family. They can be handed out during matching events or mailed to various counties/agencies. Caseworkers make flyers for kids to hand out to potential families at matching events and you can hand out flyers to caseworkers in the hope they have a potential child to match your criteria. I also use it to email caseworkers for kids I have found online, until my matching worker sends out my homestudy.

In my case...there were plenty of babies..but kids aged 2-7 where DH and I wanted to be...was almost impossible..but we are on the western pa side... Looking back, we made many mistakes that I today know differently NOT to do! First, If we ever decide to try again to adopt..We WILL find an agency that allows us to look in ALL states...not just PA....to be ALLOWED to look at all kids, not just kids from PA would have given us more kids to inquire about and likely we may have found our forever child. Secondly, I will never again sign with an agency that tells us HOW its going to be done..now don't get me wrong...following their advice is important...but whenever we stated what we wanted, they ignored us...over and over again....not a good sign. Thirdly, we now know better to advocate for ourselves and ask all the questions with another agency..far as making sure to get ALL information needed to never again go through all we endured with the agency we had....we feel lied to from the beginning, led on and then treated as if we were "bad" because we continued to state what we wanted... What I am saying to you..is that I believe anyone can find THEIR child..but from the beginning its so important to state up front what you want, and not deviate from YOUR plan...its easy to get wrapped up in the idea of doing what they want..but in the end...only YOU Know what is right for your family. Don't get discouraged and if at any time you find your not getting where you need to be or want to be or you get red flags from any situation you are in, then act immediately. I think for my DH and I, we just didn't have enough experience with things to know what to do to help us find our child. There are so many things that can help You find your child and so many options...from making up flyers of YOUR family and handing them out at adoption fairs, to truly advocating for your family..whatever needs to be done...do it! Just realize that for us who have NOT found our forever kids...speaking of me and my DH of coarse.. we did some things right and some things wrong....that is why in OUR case we ended up nowhere...its your job to find out everything you CAN do to increase your chances of finding a child(ren) to adopt and likely YOU WILL be successful. Just don't give up..though DH and I have not decided where if anywhere we will go from here, we still know adopting IS possible for us. Just be persistent, smart about things-don't be like us....:grr: and somehow, someway you WILL get there. God Bless!

Thanks!! We found out that our agency pushes for PA but you can adopt out of state if you pay for the homestudy. The trainer was pushing teenagers which is not the right age group for us. She kinda of made a big deal out of the ICPC and said it takes a long time, lots of paperwork. I asked how long and she said 6-8 weeks. Then she said you can wait in PA for a child it will just take maybe up to 2 yrs. Of course, that was not a good reply but I said nothing. So, once we have our HS written, we will look everywhere. I have flyers and we will send them out all over, to multiple states. I hope you find your child/ren !!!!

OUR agency told us we could look out of state too...one of the things we asked them before we signed up with them...they told us...yes you can look out of state and told us that we'd just have to pay for the homestudy too if we wanted that option. Once we signed up with them, their attitude went from bad to worse..them even sending us a nasty email..saying "I had thought we'd agree that you'd only look in PA" after we asked about sending a homestudy out for a child in OHIO and our reply yet AGAIN, was that "though we'd focus our intense efforts on PA, we still absolutely intended to look at neighboring states too". Once we had been licensed and homestudied, They totally changed the way they talked to us thinking they had us now and we'd comply to anything they demanded. Looking back, they "seemed" nice but literally felt they had the right to tell us how it was going to be. DH and I so thought we did everything right with them, always talked in a respectful way to them, etc..but I swear asking about kids in Ohio for example..to them was like committing a crime...and we were made to feel guilty for even asking...even though we stated our feelings upfront before even signing. Later, we talked to another agency who DOES allow people to look in ALL states and they said...PA is like that...they push hard for ALL families to STAY in that state. And THEIR opinion was that ALL kids in ALL states deserve a family, irregardless of where YOU live and where THEY live. After hearing that...we realized what a big mistake it was to pick this agency, because really they needed foster parents and after we stated we wouldn't do that or do respite...they dropped us. No reason, other then we were "too emotional" and then ironically if we were sooo emotional...they gave us information about "other" ways to "help" kids in their organization....a whole list of things WE could do...we laughed and told them...that though their agency and us was not a good fit..we STILL wanted to adopt and though we may stink as foster/respite parents..we still felt absolutely confident we could and would find an actual adoptable child and be successful in that. They again, were upset...because if they couldn't use us for foster/respite they intended to push us into something we again, would NOT be good at or a fit for our family. I mean the entire situation was just a mess, but so happy to be out of it now...but looking back I had such high hopes...and even with that history...I still feel if we go with another agency we STILL can find our forever child..(right now we are taking a break and recovering from the exhaustion of it all) But I am NOW an avid writer and talk to people, telling them to advocate for themselves and do what is right for them and not to back down if their agency is pushing something that is not right on them, to speak up. Though we could have spoken up, we tried hard to work WITH them, really at the expense of what WE wanted to do...and though I STILL believe there are many nice agencies out there...its so important to stay positive, and hopeful because adoption IS possible and can and will happen. But its important to not get pushed around either...because with some agencies that happens and many people just give up. I feel like today, so much more educated on the whole process and am happy even if we DID waste 2-2 1/2 years...that we learned what NOT to do now...and my desire is that we can if we choose begin again and know THIS time what we are getting into. I am so grateful to the many people on this forum who educated me on all kinds of adoption things but wish I HAD learned some of it before DH and I already signed up with our old agency....but for those like you who have an agency..just don't repeat my obvious mistakes...and luckily and I do believe you WILL find that child who is so meant to be YOURS! God Bless!

Please PM me what agency you are working with and you experiences with them. We are in the process of selecting an agency to foster to adopt. Thanks in advance.

Did you try SWAN? the state wide adoption network has kids on photolisting. Most are listed as being free for adoption and list the appropriate agency to contact. You can narrow you selection by putting in your criteria.