help

I'm so sorry to hear things are tough for you right now. I can hear how much you love your little girl in every word you write! My suggestion is to call your local department of social services. (It could be called the Department of Social Services, Health and Human Services, Department of Children Youth and Families, something like that). They will be able to get you some help. You might qualify for food stamps or daycare tuition, financial aid for rent, or free food for your daughter through the WIC program. You can also get on Medicaid for you and your daughter, to make sure you both have the health care you need. You may also get treatment for your PTSD, which will help you parent better, too.Good luck to you! We are all pulling for you, so keep us posted on how you are.

(((hugs!!!))) BB's advice is good. If you are at any time in crisis, ACCESS services should be available in your area and are usually free. Look it up under Mental Health in the Yellow Pages. As Boulderbabe said, social services also has resource agencies and numbers to give you. Keep going until you get the help you need. Also contact your community mental health center, there should be one located in your county or region of the state. Community mental health centers are designed for people who would otherwise not have good access to services. Some are great, some aren't, but it's worth trying. Again, social services should be able to help you connect with CMHS if you can't find it listed as such in the phone book. If you've been in the military, you may also be eligible for help through the VA, which can often be more helpful than its reputation would leave you to think. Churches, too, can be very helpful especially in establishing yourself within a caring community of supportive friends. The best will embrace you without expecting you to fulfill their agenda. If anyone on these boards contacts you about placing your child with them for adoption, do not respond to them and do report them to an administrator or moderator. Knowing there is a problem and wanting to do something about it puts you and your child far, far ahead on the path to being a functional and thriving family. Your daughter is lucky to have such an aware and caring parent.

I'm not sure what services there are in your area, but where I live there are SOOOO many! Like the PP mentioned, I would first contact the local DHS (or whatever you have similar). They are able to set you up with a multitude of services, and if they can't, they'll point you in the right direction. There are so many services around here that help those with limited income: WIC - helps women, infants, and children by providing checks for certain food items (bread, peanut butter, eggs, milk, cheese, cereal, fruits, veggies, etc.). Food Stamps - Here, I think it works like a debit card at the grocery stores. TANF - (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) This program can help you pay your utility bills, etc. OHP - (Oregon Health Plan) A state paid health plan for those who cannot afford it. Your local department can set you up with this if your state has one. There are free and reduced rate mental health services, and there is always welfare. These are just some of the programs offered where I live. I would definitely check in with your local department to see what services you are eligible for. Also, churches can offer support services, even if you are not a member of the congregation. Your info says that you're from Colorado. I found a few sites for services in your area that might help. I'm not sure if I can post links on here, so PM me or email me about that. Your info also says that your interested in adoption education. From your post, it is obvious that you love your little girl so much. If all you need is a few services, I would definitely seek them out first. If, though, after receiving services, you feel that you still are not able to parent, then the department of human services can help you with that as well. You have options when it comes to adoption too. You could go through child services, through a private agency, or privately find a family on your own. If you do decide to go the adoption route though, please seek unbiased counseling first. I hope your situation improves! I will be praying for you and your little girl!!!

thank you im coming here because i have exausted those options (no offence) unfortiunitly they are not as helpful as one would hope there are more issues then what where in my post several of witch id be rather keep private to an extent besides my mental issues there are physical as well those im more afraid of to be honest if all treatments fail and even if they dont will leave me penny less im just trying to do whats right for her it is selfish to keep her because i would be happyer i just honestly think that in the real world she would be better off with some one who can do better for her i cant even play with her it hurts her and me tanif and s.s. are bouncing me back and forth like a tether ball one saying its the others problem its wacky and unreal anyways i am rambling

I am amazed by your selflessness! To have not only sought out services and exhausted them and now trying to find something more for your child, shows you love her to the ends of the earth. If you truly feel that even with services, you cannot parent your child, then adoption is an option for you. As I stated earlier, you could go three routes for your adoption process. Everything has it's pros and cons. You can go through the state, voluntarily relinquishing your rights. There is a chance that she could be bounced around in foster care unless you have more specific arrangements made with them. You could go through a private agency, but please look around when doing this because many have some motives you might not agree with. You could find a family on your own and do a private adoption, but you're the only one determining if they can raise your child so you have to do all of the "investigating". There is also guardianship. Is there a family member who would be your daughter's legal guardian? This option would still allow you rights, and if things improve for you later on, it is less permanent and there is a chance you could get you daughter back. If you are choosing adoption, you need to figure out how open you want it to be. There is open adoption, semi-open adoption and closed adoption. There are ups and downs to each type. You need to figure out which one you would be most comfortable with. In open adoption, you remain a large part of your child's life. Some like this option because the get to remain a key person in their child's life. Some don't like this though, because it is a constant reminder that they weren't able to parent or they have a difficult time agreeing with the choices that the adoptive parents are making for their child. Semi-open adoptions can vary greatly. On one end of the spectrum it could be only pictures and an update letter once a year. On the other end, it could be visits, phone, letters, etc. Depending on what kind of semi-open adoption it is, there are ups and downs. From everything that I have read about adoption, it is most beneficial for a child to have a semi-open adoption, and if it is closed, then to have the biological parents register so that if the child wants to when the are 18, they can connect with them. Closed adoptions, sometimes referred to as traditional adoptions, have their ups and downs as well. Some birthmoms choose this option because it is too painful for them to hear updates. Others who have chosen this option regret it later on because they worry and just want to make sure their child is okay. There are many options out there. Where are you at in this journey? Is there anything specific you are trying to find answers to? I will continue to pray!

PLease get in touch with me , don't let the child go into the system , there are options out there. here's my contact info henryd.70@gmail.com

MODS:Please delete the solicitation above!

thank you all for the support i still am so confused and sad the truth is being on here made me more confused then ever no offence to anyone

What has you more confused? This is a great place to ask questions because there are many who have BTDT (been there done that) and can help. I would suggest talking to someone who is unbiased and willing to let you sort through your emotions so that you can decide what you want to do without feeling pressured.

Mama_mo, I am very uncomfortable with your response to this young woman. Support and ideas are one thing, but your post verges on...I don't know how to articulate it--counseling, maybe, that should be done by a legally accountable professional trained to present information completely and without bias, who won't leave out certain facts--such as that termination is termination regardless of intentions and even "binding" open adoption agreements do not guarantee a continuing relationship since most are subject to change according to a judge's determination of the child's best interest. And a host of other factors. to unknown85, I'm sorry we have confused you. I urge you to repost in the general Birth Parent support forum, the one with the most active threads. There you will find other mothers who have relinquished and mothers who have both relinquished and raised different children, some of whom will have done so in circumstances similar to your own. You will surely find more personal support for your feelings and situation as well as some practical help. On a practical note, if you feel you are being bounced between state agencies, you probably are. If that's the case, you may need someone to step in and straighten it out for you. If you are being served by a Community Mental Health Center, you might ask your case manager there for assistance in securing and maintaining services that will enable you to keep your child in your home or to connect you to a family services worker who can work through the issues and solutions with you so that you can get services and make an informed choice. Sometimes life is so hard, minute by minute, it really can be. You know how precious and fragile your child is, you know how you feel and you're making it through every day. I so very much hope that you find the help you need to make every day bloom a little better again. The best way to do that is to keep reaching out--here, to the state, to CMH, to houses of worship, to supportive community groups.

unknown- I felt complelled to reply to you with ((((HUGGGGS))) I just wanted to say that I am a mother to 2 children (1 homeraised and 1 relinquished for adoption) and I can hear the love you have for your baby and the pain you are in due to the situation. I know as a mom you want what is best for your baby and you want it NOW because she deserves it NOW right? This is exactly how momma's feel, so yeah, your feelings are sooooooooo normal. And no wonder you are confused if your getting the run-around with these "service providers". Community Mental Health (which is free) will assist you in setting up appointments, gathering information, accessing services, help you express your needs and the needs of your child, in some cases they will accompany you in these appointments. I agree with Hadley2 because in my situation I did find Community Mental Health very helpful. Although I did not suffer from PTSD (don't want to undermind that), I did have a very disfunction family....no one that could help me, guide me, or assist me in anyway that I trusted. Good luck to you and your daughter <3 They best love you can give to a child is to love their mother ((hugggs again))

:grr: i hope ur feeling better now and if you need someone to talk to pm me .... i to am haveing a bad time and keep hitting the wall...