why is my toddler pulling my hair and what should I do about it?

I am having the same issue with my son who is also 19 months old. He hits and pulls hair all the time. It really upsets me, too!! He is especially bad with my older daughter as she has really long hair. He wraps his fingers in it and yanks as hard as he can. When we tell him "No", he does it even more. He gets frustrated very easily. I didn't have advice but I wanted to let you know that I share your pain!! Literally!! Chrissy

I think toddlers go through a stage where they do things like that just to get interesting reactions. They don't yet understand they are hurting someone (because they themselves aren't hurting). I suppose it's part of the process of figuring out that other people have their own separate feelings and thoughts. Anyway, I have long hair too and I think my DD was the worst with the hair pulling. My older son went through a biting phase. And with my younger son his preferred method was pinching. But I think they were all after the same thing - my reaction (didn't matter if it was positive or negative). So I tried to minimize my reaction. If I was holding my DD when she pulled my hair, I would put her down, CALMLY say "I don't like that", and ignore her for a minute or two. That method worked pretty well with her I think because I was frequently the only person around with hair long enough to pull. The biting and pinching were tougher to control because the boys could get their desired "interesting reactions" from each other or just about anybody but my husband and I. Anyway, my advice would be to downplay your reaction as much as possible. Best of luck! :)

Jalapeno gave the same advice I would. Ignore it. They really are playing a game with it at this age. It's how they learn to recognize emotions in others. They won't learn how empathy for a couple more years, but they'll sure learn "when I do this, mommy does THIS" really quick. :D

Well, first, and trust me this didn't come naturally to me, I had to hear it elsewhere, switch to "Gentle hands, gentle hands!" Tell what to do, not what not to do. Demonstrate what you want, kind petting of hair or something, lol, like you would with pets. And Karyn Purvis mentions "do-overs". When the not-wanted behavior happens, stop it, then guide the child in doing it the way you wish it done.

My two boys were biters and it would just terrify and make me so upset, but I was told by many experienced mothers, they will grow out of it and they did. But it is frustrating. I agree with the suggestions of soft explanations and ignore. It will pass. It may be replaced by something else and you'll one day look back and say, hey she stopped doing it? I only remember the biting when I hear things like this. Try a pony tail for a while? Out of reach?