Breastfeeding Toddlers

I don't know how well it will go trying to breastfeed the toddler if he has never been breastfed before. I just know with my kids I've had to suffer through adjusting their latch tooth by tooth as they came in. I'm not sure if a toddler who has never been breastfed could easily figure out how to have a decent latch around all those teeth he should have by now. You should definitely consult your local Le Leche League either way - great free, local resource! Also, I would recommend a lot of baby wearing with the toddler. I felt with my kids (not adopted) that wearing them, holding them close, taking them on walks in the carrier, kissing their little heads, etc was as good for bonding as anything. My husband couldn't breastfeed but he wore them a lot and they bonded just as strongly to him as me. I like the Ergo for heavier toddlers - great back support! Best wishes, Snoopy

I have been in touch with quite a few moms over the years who have started nursing toddlers and found that it was very beneficial in bonding and helping the babies catch up on their development. My first daughter, Julia, did not start nursing until she was just about a year old. I think it is possible that your little guy would have been nursed by someone in Ethiopia. It is very common for children to be nursed by women other than their mothers in many African cultures. Wearing him, and the younger boy, is a great idea, too and is also something I found very beneficial with Julia. Definitely, bottlefeeding attentively will be beneficial, too. I would count on letting him keep his bottle longer than what is generally considered "normal", if you think he needs it. Julia stopped nursing at 25 months, because I had been sick and had surgery. She had become attached to a bottle during that time. She still had an occasional bottle until she was five, because I really felt that she needed it. Do you have an idea how long it will be before you can bring the boys home? Did you pump and take domperidone, with your first baby? It would be good if you could have some milk frozen for the babies when they first come home. Children who are transplanted from one part of the world to another tend to be somewhat more susceptible to illness for a while so the immunities from even a few ounces of milk a day would be nice, if you can provide it. It may take a while to get either one of them to start nursing and it would be a comfort to be able to offer them the milk in the meantime. I would have liked to do that while I was going through the trial and error it took to get Julia started nursing. I didn't have domperidone and couldn't pump more than a dribble, although I produced like 2 or three ounces per feeding, nursing them with or without the Lact-Aid.Oh, as far as latch, you just never know. Julia, surprizingly, had a very good latch and suck, at a year old, much better than two of her brothers, who came home at four weeks and two weeks. With teeth, I had to grit my own a few times, as Julia, who had most of her baby teeth before she ever latched on, chomped down. I knew it would upset her a lot for me to gasp and jump like I did when her older brother did it. I just had to pay close attention, stay calm, unlatch her, and tell her "no". It seems like she did it 3 times (she turned 20 last week, so my memory isn't as vivid any more.) How old is your older son now? Our first three were boys, too. Julia was fourth and then we adopted another boy and another girl. Now, I have a three year old granddaughter and a grandson due in March. Best wishes to you!Darillyn

Hello, Last I was on here, I was planning on an infant adoption with the baby due mid December. The biomom changed her mind, so with sadness, I haven't been on this site for a while. My husband and I are now considering adopting a one year old. I would love to breastfeed, especially for bonding reasons. I'm glad to read that you, Darilyn, and others have attempted and succeeded at older child breastfeeding. I'd love to hear any more advice you might have! Also, I worry about what others may think, as so many women stop breastfeeding by the child is one and I would just be starting. What do you say to them? Do you tell people? Thanks! It's good to be back!

Im really sorry to hear things didnt work out with the private adoption. Hopefully this one will work. I have no advice on breastfeeding a one year old as my son is only 3 1/2 months old. I do however have advice on what people will say. It probably wont be too supportive but ya know what....who cares!! if this is what you want to do, then you dont need people in your life whom arent going to supportive of that. You dont have to tell anyone anything if you dont want too. The chances of anyone asking you if you are nursing a 1 year old adopted child are pretty slim!!!! Good luck, any more questions, please feel free to PM me. Rach

I am also sorry to hear that the adoption didn't work out. That has happened to many of us, at some time or other, unfortunately. Adoption is definitely not the "easy way"! I am trying to remember back to when I started nursing Julia, right when she was turning a year old. Julia is 20 years old, now, so it has been a while! She's very thankful that I went to the extra effort so that she could be a nursing baby, like her siblings who were adopted much earlier in their lives. Babies who come to their adoptive homes when they are older, like that, have essentially all been through some kind of trauma, so they stand to gain even more from breastfeeding and other attachment parenting techniques. However, they are often very resistant to change. It is important to take time to get to know the baby, and give him/her a chance to become familiar with the new surroundings, before trying to make too much of a change in their feeding habits. Then, take it slowly. I don't think I told very many people that Julia was nursing. If it came up, I told them, but I didn't bring it up. I don't remember any incidents where anyone had anything negative to say. During the time that you are trying to get a toddler started nursing, it is usually best to let them. Fortunately, with Julia, I was able to stay home most of the time. However, once you have gotten them nursing well and secure in their new home and family, you can usually put them off for a while, if you are out in public. I know I nursed Julia in public, on occasion, though. When she was 18 months old, a friend and I gave a class on breastfeeding adopted babies, at an Adoptive Families of America conference, in LA. I nursed her in the hotel lobby, or the classroom we were in, several times. The only negative responses I remember were when my friend was sitting next to me, nursing her 2YO son, in a very non-discrete manner. It didn't offend me, personally, but it made me uncomfortable because I knew it was offending others. I hope you will have a baby soon!