Biological Father Needs Help!

Sorry I can't be of much help, but I was wondering - are you planning to take the baby and raise him/her? I thought you implied that, but didn't say so outright. Hopefully others can give you some advice. Best of luck.

Yes I am. I want full right to my daughter.

Well, more power to you. I wish you the very best of luck :)

It's not clear what the difficulty is. She wants to terminate her rights, you don't. She does not want to raise or be responsible for the child or have rights over the care and control of the child, you do. If she is acknowledging you as the father, there should not be a problem. That said, before the birth and as soon as possible, you should get on the putative father registry. If you do not register as a putative father of this woman's child, you may later be denied paternal rights: Texas has a putative father registry. You can register before the birth of the child. This is supposed to mean that you will be notified of any proceedings regarding the child. Then it is up to you to take the proper steps to intervene. If you don't, you will be out of luck. I would not, however, rest it there. If she refuses the child and you aren't there, social services WILL take custody, they have to; then it may be much more difficult to gain custody. Go for the birth. Be sure she names you as the father on the BC if she will. Be prepared to show that you provided support before and after the birth. Not providing support can be used as grounds to terminate your rights. You don't have to and really shouldn't "inform" anyone of her wishes re not seeing or hearing the baby, that is solely her prerogative. If you tell people that and she contradicts it, she could accuse you of various things that might make it harder to gain and/or keep custody. Whether or not she terminates her rights, you should be able to take your child home with you as long as she does not dispute custody. It would probably be a good idea to have notarized custody documents in case you are challenged later. Contact the clerk of the court of jurisdiction and ask for the correct forms and filing instructions. Be ready to take baby home when you go to the birth. Get the nursery stuff, get everything you'll need, leave the tags on and keep the receipts just in case. Then take him or her home. Be a dad. If I were you, I'd bring the receipts with me to show the mom and to show intention to support the child. Unless you have grounds to get her rights terminated, only she can terminate her rights through the court. You don't need to facilitate that and personally I wouldn't--you don't want her to later blame you for it. She may decide not to terminate but to sign over full custody. Or she may want joint custody. Or--whatever. Parents can and do change their minds after the birth and that is normal, OK, and usually desirable for the child. For her to terminate her rights, she must sign an affidavit of voluntary relinquishment of rights. A.com has standard forms if you search for them that I think can be filed with the court that has jurisdiction. The text below is from 2005; I don't know if there have been any changes, you need to check your state's website. There are requirements for the affidavit. If you and the mother are both present and in agreement, the social services office of the hospital may be able to facilitate some of this for her or bring in someone from the local social services agency who can facilitate it for her or give her a referral. Remember, though, your interest is in establishing your paternity and gaining custody if that is what you and she want. She can decide at any time after 48 hours after the birth to terminate her rights. If she wishes to take her time to make that decision, then that is how it will be. There's no need to rush. 161.103. AFFIDAVIT OF VOLUNTARY RELINQUISHMENT OF PARENTAL RIGHTS. (a) An affidavit for voluntary relinquishment of parental rights must be: (1) signed after the birth of the child, but not before 48 hours after the birth of the child, by the parent, whether or not a minor, whose parental rights are to be relinquished; (2) witnessed by two credible persons; and (3) verified before a person authorized to take oaths. (b) The affidavit must contain: (1) the name, address, and age of the parent whose parental rights are being relinquished; (2) the name, age, and birth date of the child; (3) the names and addresses of the guardians of the person and estate of the child, if any; (4) a statement that the affiant is or is not presently obligated by court order to make payments for the support of the child; (5) a full description and statement of value of all property owned or possessed by the child; (6) an allegation that termination of the parent-child relationship is in the best interest of the child; (7) one of the following, as applicable: (A) the name and address of the other parent; (B) a statement that the parental rights of the other parent have been terminated by death or court order; or (C) a statement that the child has no presumed father and that an affidavit of status of the child has been executed as provided by this chapter; (8) a statement that the parent has been informed of parental rights and duties; (9) a statement that the relinquishment is revocable, that the relinquishment is irrevocable, or that the relinquishment is irrevocable for a stated period of time; (10) if the relinquishment is revocable, a statement in boldfaced type concerning the right of the parent signing the affidavit to revoke the relinquishment only if the revocation is made before the 11th day after the date the affidavit is executed; (11) if the relinquishment is revocable, the name and address of a person to whom the revocation is to be delivered; and (12) the designation of a prospective adoptive parent, the Department of Protective and Regulatory Services, if the department has consented in writing to the designation, or a licensed child-placing agency to serve as managing conservator of the child and the address of the person or agency. (c) The affidavit may contain: (1) a waiver of process in a suit to terminate the parent-child relationship filed under this chapter or in a suit to terminate joined with a petition for adoption; and (2) a consent to the placement of the child for adoption by the Department of Protective and Regulatory Services or by a licensed child-placing agency. (d) A copy of the affidavit shall be provided to the parent at the time the parent signs the affidavit. (e) The relinquishment in an affidavit that designates the Department of Protective and Regulatory Services or a licensed child-placing agency to serve as the managing conservator is irrevocable. A relinquishment in any other affidavit of relinquishment is revocable unless it expressly provides that it is irrevocable for a stated period of time not to exceed 60 days after the date of its execution. (f) A relinquishment in an affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights that fails to state that the relinquishment is irrevocable for a stated time is revocable as provided by Section 161.1035. (g) To revoke a relinquishment under Subsection (e) the parent must sign a statement witnessed by two credible persons and verified before a person authorized to take oaths. A copy of the revocation shall be delivered to the person designated in the affidavit. If a parent attempting to revoke a relinquishment under this subsection has knowledge that a suit for termination of the parent-child relationship has been filed based on the parent's affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights, the parent shall file a copy of the revocation with the clerk of the court. (h) The affidavit may not contain terms for limited post-termination contact between the child and the parent whose parental rights are to be relinquished as a condition of the relinquishment of parental rights.

When our daughters were born, we filled out a form at the hospital that they then sent in to the state to generate a birth certificate. The BC was mailed to us later. Be sure to have the hospital request two certified copies, one mailed to the mother and one to you. I think I remember they also had the paperwork for the SS number, so same thing. I have to think they deal with many couples who do not actually live with each other. You will need a certified copy of the BC and the SS # and card if you are going to raise the baby. Also, contact your HR dept ahead of time to find out how to add baby to your health insurance.

wow..thanks for the very helpful information. Once she signs her rights aways will an attorney ad litem be appointed?

I don't understand. Why would a GAL be appointed? Is the mother going to contest your legal paternity? Is she trying to make an adoption plan with someone else? I am not a lawyer and you should definitely be consulting one where the baby will be born if these things are issues. If not and you will be named on the birth certificate, you are the child's legal parent. Children only need attorneys when they either have no legal parents or their custody is in question. If the mother does not want custody and you are the child's legal father, there is no reason the child's custody should be in question unless she claims you are a danger to the child. That is a whole different ball of wax I won't go into unless you say it is an issue. For now, you need to focus on establishing your legal paternity. Get on the registry as soon as possible now, before the birth. Doing this is really critical. The information is here:

Texas Paternity Registry

[FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman][FONT=Times New Roman,Times New Roman]

Dept. Of State Health Services

P.O. Box 12040

Austin, TX 78711-2040

(888) 963-7111 ext. 7782

[url]www.dshs.state.tx.us/reqproc/forms[/url]

(VS134 form - $10 or $18 fee)

[/FONT][/FONT] Get ready to take baby home. Get an infant car seat (learn how to use it), crib, nursery setup, formula, bottles, diapers, wipes, baby clothes, etc. Find out what kind of paternity leave you can take. Line up daycare for when you go back to work. Find out how to add baby to your health insurance and be prepared to do that at the hospital. Keep tags on as many things as possible. Keep your receipts and bring them with you so that you can show support for the child. Bring any other documentation you have showing support of the mother during pregnancy. Be present at the birth. Talk, talk, talk with the mother. Don't insist she make permanent decisions now. She can't, legally, anyway, and really she shouldn't; a lot can change in a person's perspective after birth. If she brings up termination of her rights, make it clear that that is her decision alone. But do talk with her about how she would want to set up custody if she decides not to terminate so that the two of you can be prepared for that. Days go by fast in the hospital and baby needs somewhere to go. Be open to the idea that even if she does terminate, you will want to keep the door open to future contact for the child's sake. The child has a real interest in knowing his/her mother, including birthmother. Termination is a permanent decision that the mother can't even make, legally, until at least 48 hours after the birth and she can take much longer if she wishes. It is a decision she needs to make by herself with good counseling, her own lawyer, and without pressure or influence one way or the other from anyone, including you. Most courts will not allow her to terminate her rights unless the legal father agrees and stands ready to take full responsibility for the child, or both legal parents have consented to adoption by another, or the state has brought her to trial for termination and succeeded (usually a pretty long process). This is why being on the registry is so important. In some states having registries, unless you are on it you are not considered a potential legal father and would not be able to block the adoption if she claimed the father was unknown or someone else. Being on the registry means you have the right to act, but you do have to act; simply being on it may not stop things. Unless you believe she is unfit to the standards set by law and want to bring her to trial, you really have no place in her decision except to let her know and show her that you are ready to be a single parent if need be. Custody is different, however. You have every right and the responsibility to discuss custody with her now and after the birth. I think it would be a good idea to see if you can come to an agreement now and fill out papers to be signed, notarized, and filed after the birth. I would also bring a blank set because, of course, many things could change in her thinking after she gives birth. Again, your local district or county court should have the correct custody agreement forms for you to take and be able to give you instructions on how to file it in the court having jursidiction where the baby is born. If they are not helpful, then you will have to find a lawyer to help you. Remember that if she does not terminate, she does have a responsibility to provide child support and she will have standing to petition to change the terms of the agreement. If she is contesting your legal paternity, you have a bit more work to do and social services probably will get involved. If she says you are not the father and she has an adoption plan with other people, then being on the registry should give you enough standing to block that but you will probably have to be proactive and act quickly--it would be a good idea to have a lawyer there lined up and ready to act within hours of the birth in that case. Baby might go into foster care with both of you paying child support until paternity could get established via DNA, I guess. "I guess" because I am not a lawyer. I don't know how much you need one; it probably depends on how agreeable the mother is to you raising baby.

The main point here people are trying to make for you (IMO) is that you seem focused on the "mother terminating her rights" when at this point, if you intend to raise the child- ALL YOUR EFFORTS SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON ESTABLISHING YOUR RIGHTS AS THE FATHER OF RECORD. (not intended as yelling, just wanted to make sure you got that :)) What the mother chooses to do and how it happens after the baby is born, is totally and completely secondary to making sure you have established yourself as the father of record in every possible way so that YOU do not lose your child. Get an attorney, get on the registry, prepare your house, be at the birth, get on the certificate. Everything else is fluff compared to those things.

Exactly, zxczxcasdasd. Thank you for boiling it down so well.

Thanks, Hadley, for seeing through my typos to what I meant. It's too late for me to edit them correctly. Oh well. You "seem" focused -- and -- Get "an" attorney. Sorry. Hadley, you gave all the useful and important details, I was just concerned that his responses to you kept coming back to the idea of termination and seemed to completely miss your major point, the most important one.

Sent you a PM.

Once your on the birth certificate you have the same parental rights that she does. Be at the birth prepared and ready to be the parent. You don't need to bring receipts. Just a bag, camera & a car seat will do. Ask the hospital for a separate room so that you can be in another room with baby if mom still doesn't want anything to do with baby. Do get on the registry. That's very important and be prepared in case she does decide to parent. You may want to run it by a lawyer in case you need power of attorney or something along that lines until the custody is awarded (there's always a gap). I do hope for your child's sake that she changes her mind about the termination. Honestly there's really no need for it. You seem like a dad who's willing and able. Whatever her reason I'm hoping she changes her mind eventually.

Please check the dates on the threads, especially the last post when you decide to post advice. This thread is almost 3 years old. The child has long since been born.

I realize the post was old but it's information that wasn't on here and if others go looking for it they may have something that they missed.