Weighty Issues

My first thought is you can't put a toddler on a diet. However you can do what all dieticians and people tell you and allow him to have 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. With the meals it was recommended that they have a tablespoon per year of age of each item on the table. For snack I would do the same. Allow the child to have milk at meals then water the rest of the time. It really is common sense. However you are correct in saying that the soon to be former foster mom lets him eat all day!!! Ugh!!

It might make you feel better to contact your pediatrician in advance (if you have one) and ask for suggestions to better prepare you for when future FS is finally in your care.

I think you just really have to go into it with your eyes open to any possiblility. Its kind of the same as my current "failure to thrive" placement who only weighted 18 pounds at 18 months old but is up to around 26 pounds at 24 months after 6 months in care. It could be diet related or it could be a metabolic disorder. I think it will be important to find a good pediatrician who will take the weight concerns seriously and work with you to rule out any metabolic disorders. It will then be up to you to follow the guidance to the letter and see where it goes. It might be that simple changes are all that is in order, or it might be the beginning of a life long struggle for this child and his/her caretaker. I think if your family generally eats pretty healthy (not a lot of sugar, fast food or other refined carbohydrates) you should see some quick improvement if it is a dietary issue. I personally would accept the placement, set up a Pediatrician appointment as soon as possible to discussthe situation, and request a consultation with a pediatric nutritionist. I would not allow pure sugar or refined carbohydrates to pass his lips and keep plenty of low glycemic snacks on hand and see if you could not get his weight stablilzed, hopefully in anticipation of a growth spurt. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice. I've already let them know that I will take him, so that's not a concern. We had him here for a weekend and I just adore this kid! I want to get him to a doctor to rule out metabolic issues, that's for sure. I know he drinks too much milk/juice just from the weekend he was here. I want to nix the snacking, too. I mean, he's a kid, and he has nutritional needs, but those needs should be met with nutritious foods. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something here. I've always had children who have failure to thrive. I guess this is going to be another learning experience! :)

Yippy, im actually somewhat qualified to answer this. (ACE certified fitness instructor). Yes to the pediatrican. Babies require lots of carbs, which is why most baby food is made up of complex carbs. It's easy on the tummy and fast to digest. Premixed "shakes" like Enfamil is good, pediashure, also good stuff. Unfortunately there are lots of moms that will allow a baby to snack endlessly. They replace pacifiers with butter crackers instead of fresh fruits, or use food to keep the child quiet. The one thing that many children lack, esp obese children - it's water!!! Juice and milk is typically substituted for water. BAD IDEA!! Also, Young children become quickly addicted to sugar - another bad idea. So remember water, or water with a little Pediashure mixed in. (has more electrolytes) I think your challenge will be to break the sugar and eating habit without breaking his spirit. But be strong. If the child doesn't eat the food you provide, its ok!! As one pediatrician once told me - Children will not starve themselves. That's a very common misconception. They may not like whats in front of them because it's not sweet, but they will still eat a little. Ease him back into nutritious foods, and off the sugar and crackers. Im 100% sure the pediatrician will say the same thing. Be strong!! VERY VERY VERY few kids have real metabolic disorders. It still comes down to too many calories, too often. Teaching new parents that food is energy first, flavor second, is something that teachers, pediatricians, and nutritionists have been trying to do for ages. Feeding kids until they are "stuffed full" is another not-so-great tradition. Kids are actually better off with 6 small meals a day. Not 2 or 3 huge ones. By the number of obese children we have in the US, it hasn't been very successful. And it seems to come back to food being given as an elixir to relieve pain, stress, or strife. This of course leads to teaching kids (and adults) to go to the fridge first to "cure" the pain or anxiety. Heavy kids always have an "enabler". And that enabler is usually heavy themselves. Vicious circle. Hope it helps.

Amen to the water!!! I have a morbidly obese nephew who is now 16. As a little toddler, my sister gave him nothing but straight juice and Gatorade. She has her own food issues which she transferred to him. It's disgustingly sad. It takes everything I have not to tell my BF not to constantly give her girls juice (she's a new mom to two toddlers!!). It's just sugar water!

It does help, thanks! We've been talking as a family (my husband, 11 year old, and I) and have worked out a couple of things. We are absolutely doing more frequent, healthy meals. I also plan to have a tray of healthy snacks available at all times. He's currently allowed to eat at will, and I don't want to cause issues with suddenly restricting foods. I figure if he has access still, but not to junk, it's a step. Maybe some vegetables and cheese cubes (although not a lot of these). We are also going to ween the juice back to water. The "problem" is my bio. son is very skinny. He's on ADHD meds and they kill his appetite. I'm always forcing him to have meals and snacks that will keep weight on. His doctor had me add a milk shake (!!!) to his diet to help keep his calories up. Finding a balance that will allow both to be healthy should be interesting.

My FS is in the obese category as well and unfortunately I'm the only one concerned about it. I would suggest keeping him busy, busy, busy so he isn't bored and using food as a pacifier all day long. When the kids are out of the house and engaging in activities they more easily forget to ask for snacks. Plus the extra exercise will help him use up those calories he's so used to consuming. And with the juice, start by watering it down 50% and gradually work up to almost straight water. If he's thirsty he'll drink it, if he isn't he doesn't need it. I think it will be easier for you to stay strong because you don't have a history of allowing the snacking that led to his weight problem.

Oh yea, those meds can definitely do that! One suggestion for your son is a product called "Muscle Milk." Unlike other protein rich drinks, this one is actually has a good balance of carbs, proteins and fats and is good for kids and adults. Nutritionally, it's close to yogurt but with higher protein levels. It tastes awesome (unlike most), has lots of different flavors to choose from, and can be mixed with low fat milk or just plain water. It's also low in sugar, but high in fats but - good fats. A normal serving is 300 calories though, so half portions to children. (300 calories is almost a meal in of itself for kids). It has one drawback. Cost! If anyone wants to try it, buy it online and not from retail stores. These things have a 70% markup at retail stores. Online is much much cheaper.It's still a "supplement", meaning "in addition to real food". It's not a meal replacement. Best price ive ever found online is at Supplement Warehouse. A 2lb jug should last about 2 months at half portions. At $20 for 2 lbs - it comes out cheaper then food! Protein rich foods (as you know) can get expensive. Most convenience stores / gas stations also sell individual bottles, but they are $3+ each. Maybe worth one to see if he likes it.For the baby, I suggest sliced apples, bananas, or pears as snacks, apples being the best. Bananas and pears are high GI fruits so his addiction to sugar will be satisfied. Apples are low GI. Everything in moderation.

Thanks for all the insight!

well, you have probably already seen the pediatrician since it has been so long, but you might want to have them check into prader willi syndrome, if he continues to try to snack all day even after to create a more structured eating environment. I wish you well creating balance between the 2 boys dietary needs!

I had considered Prader Willi, but now that he's in the house he just doesn't seem to fit the PW profile. He's always hungry, but easily distracted. We've been giving him 3 sensible meals and 3 snacks a day. Milk with 2 meals, 25% juice with the other. His cup always has water in it when he's finished the other things. He's adjusting to the scheduled eating times. We haven't seen a pediatrician yet, because his health insurance was messed up when we got him. They are still trying to sort it out. They are saying Monday things should be good, but I'll believe it when I see it. :grr:

When my fs first arrived at 3, he was pretty chubby. Couldn't throw a leg over a bar and swing at playground, etc. Clearly he'd been self-medicating with food, or maybe overeating in response to not having had food around when tiny. He would eat butter from the cube, he had a need to pack in those calories.I've no sugar in house, all food is healthy. I'm allergic to milk so don't serve it. Drink choices are "water water or water", said with a great deal of humor. So drinking never a source of calories.One idea. I had a hunch that part of his size was trying to fill up the space around him. A way to try to "find himself", become real to himself. He'd endured horrible neglect and abuse, then lived with people who didn't really care for him, per the SW. I was his 6th move in 7 months. (He *was* dislikable, someone was going to have to find a way to love him before he loved himself, to love him thru his annoying antics.)To address the sense of "where am I?", I let him wear clothes that were a bit too small for him. Tight, but not ugly-tight with fabric obviously biting into him. To give him the sense that he was "big enough". A sort of portable sensory stimulation chamber. I had clothes for ages 2-5 in the closet, he would pick the 2-y-o clothes, I let him. I would have clawed my way out of things that tight, but it really worked for him, he'd pick those things over and over. I also did other things, like going to park 1-2 times/day, keeping him busy busy busy, so he could discover the joy of getting lost in a fun activities, or should I say, find the joy in other things besides food.Hope you enjoy watching him bloom!