Advertisements
Its been almost a year since i have come on contact with my birthomother. Since then i have met her face to face, had contact with other siblings uncles an aunt and my grandfather. This has been the longest most stressful year of my life. Ive been up and down, but mostly down. I have learned that noone has anything good to say about my mother. Apparently the reasons behind my adoption are questionable. Basically she was underage my grandfather made her give me up and noone wanted me away from the family. But yet i was put up for adoption anyway. Whatever i dont care about all that it was 28 years ago. Im not mad about it. It is what it is, but what i dont understand is why noone wants to speak to her but me. I want to ask her what pain she's caused in so many people to where noone but her 2 brothers a cousin and 2 other kids will speak to her and even that's not on a regular basis except for my youngest brother because he lives with her. Maybe they are all just being overly dramatic she has had a rough road and has been completely honest with me about all her mishaps and misfortunes throught the time period between my adoption and now! But why could have happened that is completely unforgivable? why has noone said not one positive thing about my mother. Why does everyone wish to stay as far away from her as possible? I kind of feel like people treat her the same way people treat me but worse. I have a bad attitude. I always say what im thinking the problem is i dont actually think about it before i say it. I have no boundaries and there really isn't too much I wont say maybe that's too much for them to handle or maybe my mom is just a ***** but i am too so i cant comment on that. I dont understand whats going on in my life right now this isn't what i expected when i started my search. This is the complete opposite of what i wanted if I knew this would happen i wouldn't have searched. Theres a good possibility that's why my father doesnt want to contact me because of her... what the hell! somedays i wish i was never born and i hate feeling that way I use to love and appreciate being adopted and now i dont know what i feel..... Im so confused
Like
Share
linusloveshisblankie
Its been almost a year since i have come on contact with my birthomother. Since then i have met her face to face, had contact with other siblings uncles an aunt and my grandfather. This has been the longest most stressful year of my life. Ive been up and down, but mostly down. I have learned that noone has anything good to say about my mother. Apparently the reasons behind my adoption are questionable. Basically she was underage my grandfather made her give me up and noone wanted me away from the family. But yet i was put up for adoption anyway. Whatever i dont care about all that it was 28 years ago. Im not mad about it. It is what it is, but what i dont understand is why noone wants to speak to her but me. I want to ask her what pain she's caused in so many people to where noone but her 2 brothers a cousin and 2 other kids will speak to her and even that's not on a regular basis except for my youngest brother because he lives with her. Maybe they are all just being overly dramatic she has had a rough road and has been completely honest with me about all her mishaps and misfortunes throught the time period between my adoption and now! But why could have happened that is completely unforgivable? why has noone said not one positive thing about my mother. Why does everyone wish to stay as far away from her as possible? I kind of feel like people treat her the same way people treat me but worse. I have a bad attitude. I always say what im thinking the problem is i dont actually think about it before i say it. I have no boundaries and there really isn't too much I wont say maybe that's too much for them to handle or maybe my mom is just a ***** but i am too so i cant comment on that. I dont understand whats going on in my life right now this isn't what i expected when i started my search. This is the complete opposite of what i wanted if I knew this would happen i wouldn't have searched. Theres a good possibility that's why my father doesnt want to contact me because of her... what the hell! somedays i wish i was never born and i hate feeling that way I use to love and appreciate being adopted and now i dont know what i feel..... Im so confused
Advertisements