How did you present the benefits of Fostering to your partner?

My situation was a little different since our plan was to adopt, but we decided to do respite first to see if we were going to like working with DYFS. When I originally brought up the idea to my husband, he wasn't too crazy about it. I asked him to at least go to the training and see what its all about. I said at the very least we would go through the process and have our home study done. That seemed to really help - I think he left there wanting to take every child who needed a home.I hope it works out for you and your family is able to help a child who needs it.

Thanks RedLadi. Ironically, my husband who wouldn't be that keen on the idea in the first place is the one who I know would have the most trouble parting with a child, or worrying about him or her afterwards.

It took me a while to convince my hubby to go to the training. I had been telling him for a while that I had wanted to foster. My angle : I am a stay at home mom and it would be a perfect time to help out a little one since I'm already doing all the "little one" stuff anyway; our kids would learn compassion for others not so fortunate. I would show him all the advertisements in the paper about the need for foster parents. "what's one more since we're doing it all anyway". I would also show him articles about "bad foster parents". I did also ask him to come with me to the classes just to find out more about it. He did eventually cave in but I was pretty persistant. We also are not looking to adopt, just help out. I think I played the good citizen card quite a bit and told him how much it meant to me. I told him if we do it and it's not for us, then we just won't do it anymore once our placement left.

Thanks Kelley, I think I will go about it the same way. We will definitely be doing weekend respite at least to start, to see how we go. I think hubby can see that it's a good idea, but is worried about the extra workload, and will definitely need the most convincing re. the training. Then there's trying to find someone to babysit so we can do the training....I think I'll go to an info night, if I think it's a good idea, I'll see if I can convince him to come to an info night so he can see for himself. It's all a bit scary not knowing how we would cope with it all, mainly the emotional toll re worrying about the children after they have gone, but they need good people, and if we can do it, I think we should and see how we go.

Emily10, I'm in a very similar position; I want to foster, but my partner's very reluctant. Best of luck to you! I may employ the "good citizen" tactic myself ;)

Our situation is a bit different, though I had THE MOST RELUCTANT SPOUSE IN THE WORLD. Hands down. I thought there was NO way on earth he would ever ever ever agree to any of it. First of all, our kids are mostly moved out (only 1 left at home, 4 out on their own). Second, he's UBER private. Having someone explore the depths of our lives with a microscope - not anything I would have ever thought the guy who is so private he gets upset if I tell people about his college days (especially the part about wearing a mullet...but you can't really blame him there...). What changed? Making it real, having it close to home. For us, it was a relative (nephew), and we got to meet him, hold him, touch his little face. Things changed dramatically for hubby. And this is NOT a guy who gushes about babies. Here's MY suggestion. Find a couple that is fostering now that would be willing to meet with you, talk to both you and your husband. Have him meet the little person they are helping. Making it real and tangible really helped my hubby. I also agree on focusing on the altruistic aspects as much as possible. Hubby knows that I'm selfless to a fault, and he says he loves me for it (most days :D). Also I focused on "let's take this one step at a time and see what happens." It's easier to commit to one step than THE WHOLE THING ALL AT ONCE. "I'm interested in exploring the idea" is easier for them to agree to. You know?

Same way I got introduced to the idea, through another Foster Parent. One day she pulled out pictures of her foster kids and told me how these were her heart children. She said that although they are all grown up now and into their own lives, they still call and come over for the holidays. She talked about them with pride for what she had done raising them and for what they had become. I was impressed. This made the same impression with my family when I repeated this. We inquired w/agencies soon after.