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The other day, I saw a new article on breastfeeding. Probably others here have seen it, too. I don't know who wrote it, or see a way to comment on it where it is posted, but it brings up a topic I want to comment on, so I thought I would bring it up here. I hope that others will share their feelings on it, too.This is the final paragraph of the article. "Controversy: Many people do not like the idea of a woman breastfeeding her adopted child. Some feel that it is unnatural because it isn't biologically that mother's child. Others believe that if lactation has to be forced, it isn't natural and shouldn't happen. If you decide that breastfeeding your adopted child is the best choice for both you and your child, just know that you may experience some negative reactions. It will help you be emotionally prepared."I would agree that a few (not many) people don't like the idea. I don't however, think that anyone needs to take it into consideration is deciding whether or not to breastfeed her baby. For one thing, whether or not someone out there might disapprove is generally not a good criterion for making personal decisions. Especially when it comes to something like adoption, which most people have little or no experience with (ditto, breastfeeding), we need to be able to stand on our own two feet and not depend on the approval of others.A new adoptive mom who wants to breastfeed has just as much right to do so as anyone, and does not need to apologize or have anyone's permission. The more confidence she can have, and project to others, the better. For some moms, suggesting that there will be many people who disapprove is likely to hamper the development of that confidence and prevent her from succeeding or even from trying. Expectations of disapproval from others can become self-fulfilled prophecies, too. The suggestion that it might be "unnatural" really touches a nerve, with me. To those who suggest that, I would ask, "Which is more natural; for a human baby to suckle the breast of a human woman, getting at least some amount of human milk, or for a human baby to suckle a rubber or plastic nipple, getting only something that was formulated in a laboratory, based on milk that comes from a cow or a plant?" If anyone actually says that the latter is more natural, I would have to question that person's sensibilities, if you know what I mean! (That's not to criticize bottle feeding or formula, just saying that it is farther from the "natural" situation of a baby being breastfed by the same mother who gave birth to him.)I have to say, though, that in my considerable experience, most people who are accepting of a bio mother breastfeeding accept breastfeeding by an adoptive mother, too. The biggest issue, and the only one where I think we need to consider what anyone else thinks, is about doing it in public; not whether we do it, but how we do it. We have every right to nurse our babies in any place where we have a right to be at all. We can be considerate of the comfort levels of others by learning to nurse in public without attracting undo attention to ourselves. A mom who does so has every right to expect consideration in return. There are a few people in our lives (relatives, physicians, social workers) to whom it may be advantageous to share something about how we are able to breastfeed babies we did not give birth to. It's very satisfying when we can show others that we are raising happy, healthy, breastfed adopted babies! [url=http://e-magazine.adoption.com/2011-03/ado]Adoption and BreastfeedingAdopting E-Magazine. March 2011 Adoption Month E-mag[/url]pting#article
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tukuhnikivatz
We are so super excited for this baby - waiting is nearly driving me crazy. If the baby is not born by Tuesday, they are possibly going to do an induction on Wed. (if I don't die of supsense before then . . . This is worse than being a kid during Christmas!!)
As far as pumping goes, I don't know what is normal but thank you, Darillyn & Rachel, for the postive encouragement. I don't feel like I am making much - so it is good to hear from the "experts" that things are going well! The CRAZY part is that 98% of the milk is coming from only my left breast. If I could get my lazy right side going. . . I would feel more prepared for our little one.
Once the baby gets here I am planning to breastfeed, breastfeed & breastfeed LOTS more. I am also going to use a SNS (I can get one free from my work). After reading everything here - I have been thinking about buying a LactAid - but i think I will wait to see how things go first.
I did breastfeed my biological son until he self weaned and even though we struggled at first, this is an entirely different ball game. This is my Mt. Everest of breastfeeding. I try not focus on how much milk I am making but it is hard not to. There really isn't very much information available about adoptive bf - so I am so grateful for all the personal experiences shared here. It is so AMAZINGLY helpful!!!!!!!!
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rd200
Thank you for the compliment but im hardly an expert!!! 6 months ago i didnt even know you *could* induce lactation!! Im just curious tho why you are taking such a small amount of Dom. Not that you need to take more, but most protocols for inducing recommend 80mg as kinda a starting point and alot of people take more than that without side affects. If you do decided to take more, do it gradually.
Its hard to gauge what is *good* in the way of supply because everyone is so different in how much they produce. I had a full supply with my bio and now only produced 5 oz a day at the peak of my supply. And one lady on here was up to 20 oz/day. Thats ALOT for inducing!!! It just depends on what response your body has to the protocol, etc. Good luck and let us know when you can about the baby!! Rach
ETA: I know what you mean about the suspense is going to kill you.... emom was a week late with DS and i just about went through the ceiling with anxiety. She was eventually induced and i knew she was going in and that 24 hours was the WORST part. Cuz i KNEW what was happening and i just waited not so patiently for her to call me. And when she did, i felt so bad because she had just went through a traumatic child birth and here i was at home being selfish and wanting her to call me. Like she didnt have enough stuff to do with pushing out a kid and all. But it was all good in the end and DS is now 3 1/2 months old!! It was kinda akward going to the hospital tho and all the nursing were asking us who we were, and it was like, Ummm, we are going to be the parents?? hopefully??? Didnt know exactly what to say since it was a legal risk placement til 30 days after he was born. So she was still Mom until TPR. Its a learning experience lets just say..... Good luck
First let me say, that I am a supporter of Breast Feeding as well as I support a mothers right to Breast Feed her adopted child as if they were her own, because they are her children and she is only doing what she thinks is best for them.However, I think, that when you are in public, as much as your child might be hungry, that we share this world with 6+ billion people and we all have the right to exist in this world, and just because you want to do something in public or feel it's natural, that you have to think of others as well, not just yourself and your own.When I read this:I thought that I could easily substitute it with this:I will scratch myself WHERE EVER I WANT TO!! I dont care if you dont like it, if I'm itchy, im going to scratch until the fat lady sings. If you are uncomfortable, thats YOUR problem, NOT MINE!! I will try and do it as discreetlly as possible, but i WILL NOT apologize for scratching myself even if it is in a place that other people consider to be a 'private' place.My point is, that, example, you don't scratch your 'privates' in public even if it's a natural thing that you need to scratch yourself. you don't expose yourself in public because you're 'hot' , even if it's a natural thing to be naked. I bet many of you, who agree with the above statement, would be very upset, if I felt it was a natural thing on a hot summer day, to walk around town in my birthday suit?The bottom line is, you shouldn't have to not feed your baby in public because people feel uncomfortable, but you shouldn't flaunt it either and you should be aware of other people and afford them the courtesy they are affording you by not doing things that would make YOU uncomfortable.I think, that the majority of people's arguments against public breast feeding is aimed at it only really if the mothers breasts are exposed to the public. Some people do take it a bit too far and some may find that innapropiate. I don't think people have a problem if you do it discretely, like in a specified area or with a special breast feeding type blanket, or under your coat, as long as you're not exposing yourself knwim?
I will breastfeed WHERE EVER I WANT TO!! I dont care if you dont like it, if my baby is hungry, im going to whip out my breast and feed him. If you are uncomfortable, thats YOUR problem, NOT MINE!! I will try and do it as discreetlly as possible, but i WILL NOT apologize for breastfeeding him.
BlueAngelAu
I will scratch myself WHERE EVER I WANT TO!! I dont care if you dont like it, if I'm itchy, im going to scratch until the fat lady sings. If you are uncomfortable, thats YOUR problem, NOT MINE!! I will try and do it as discreetlly as possible, but i WILL NOT apologize for scratching myself even if it is in a place that other people consider to be a 'private' place.
I get my Dom from Inhousepharmacy.biz I get 600 tablets for $80. Its not that cheap when you are using 100 mgs/day, but its worth it to me. For you only using 30mg/day it should be pretty cheap. I dont have a prescription, i just buy them on the internet and have never had a problem. Inhousepharmacy.biz has always been reliable for me and ive gotten my order in 2 weeks usually. They say allow 2-3 weeks to get your stuff cuz it comes from overseas. I was concerned about not having a script at first, but im not anymore. My doc wouldnt prescribe it for me but in not so many words pretty much told me to just get it off the internet if i could.
I first nursed when my son was in the NICU. He was full term, just had other issues. I nursed him every feeding i was there and then after nursing both sides i fed him with a bottle of formula. At that time i was only producing an ounce/day, so he was nursing but not really getting much at all. It was really kinda odd, he latched on right away and had no problems nursing. I didnt know what to expect, but he was really agressive with the nursing at first. After a while tho he got wise and figured out that he wasnt really getting much from me and then jsut wanted the bottle cuz he wasnt getting anything when he nursed. Thats when i started using the lact-aid. He did good with that the first few months and now that he's 3 1/2 months, and im busy and back to work, Sadly i mostly feed him with a bottle. I use the lactaid in the morning when i get up and then i pump when i get home from work, etc and he will nurse without it, but its mostly only for comfort when he does without it. But im okay with that for now. I want to get back to using the lactaid more, but its frustrating when his litle hands get caught in it and rip it out of his mouth 20 times when you are trying to nurse him!! If i were able to pump more i think my supply would be much better, but im at work from 7:30-2:30 everyday and cant pump there so i do the best i can with what time i have at home.
Legal risk is where we took him home from the hospital without him being "ours" yet. SHe had 30 days from when he was born to sign TPR. After that, it was irrevocable. So we had him at home for 3 weeks, (1 week in the NICU) before she signed the TPR papers and he was ours. It was very nervewracking, but im glad we did it this way. It was an akward moment at the hospital when we visited. I wasnt sure what to expect and we all went down to the NICU and saw him in the isolet, and i cried and i didnt know what to say or do. I felt bad because she had wanted to take care of him in the hospital before he came home with us but since the birth didnt go as planned and he ws in the NICU, she couldnt care for him like she wanted too. I felt really bad about that. I think she only got to hold him once!!
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I think it is a sad commentary on our society when we women and even girls are encouraged to wear tops that reveal basically all they have and yet somehow others can find it offensive to see a mother breast feeding. I nursed my daughter in public with a nursing cover. Although I would have preferred not to use one because I believe they are more attention getting... but my daughter liked to nurse a little and then pop off and look around a little... and I did not care to expose my nipples to strangers! :)
Going to my car or the bathrooom was never an option in my mind. For one, who wants to eat in a bathroom! Gross! And for another "hiding" makes it seem like you are doing something wrong and not the most natural thing in the world.
While I did not nurse without a cover, I am thankful to all the women who do whip 'em out! The more the general public is exposed to the breast as being more than a sexual object the better it will be for women who wish to discreetly nurse their baby in public.
I know this post is old... But I wanted to respond. So here I am :banana:
To the point of Breast Feeding in Public. I can understand if people have issues with women being barebreasted and feeding in public.
It wouldnt bother me one bit. But some people have unhealthly body issues. But with the feeding ponchos (of what ever they are called lol) !!! There shoud be NO PROBLEM at all. You cant see the bare breast. So why should anyone even give attention to what is happening under someone elses clothing.
And as to the stigma of adoptive breastfeeding. Everyone in immediate circle has been very encouraging. Except for my aunt who is 74 years old. It seemed strange to her... But she chucked it up to what "these crazy kids are doing now a days" LOL! And Im sure when our lo is born she will keep her thoughts to herself.
GOing to buy a moby wrap and practive strapping the baby in with my old cabbage patch :3d: I want to get good at it. And Cabbie is the size of a new born.
:)
Having never "breast fed" myself. I cannot speak from experience on that end. However I've been subject to many different forms of it from others. I've been witness to a lady almost completely bare her entire chest in the middle of the grociery store, squeeze to get a few droplets on her nipple, then grab her infant and attach it. I've seen the woman hiding in a bathroom stall and attemting to attach baby, stay upright on toilet, and not touch anything "contaminated". I've seen the mothers go to thier cars, in the cold and freeze/or heat and melt themselves and baby's or run the car and waste gas out of it. I've also seen the mothers that have the very lightweight, breathable shawl things tied around thier neck and over baby. I've also see the ones that just lift thier shirt, and babys' head covers most everything (althought I think that wouldnt be as easilty done by larger breasted women). My mother also had a friend that would LITERALLY remove her entire shirt and bra and nurse her infant in our living room.
I have "mixed" feelings on it, and having said already i've not breastfed myself. I really dont know what "type" I'll be should i ever have the oppertunity (aka child). But I have to say the woman that just bared her entire chest , sqeezed a few drops out of her nipple, then picked up her infant and attached made me extremely uncomfortable. The friend of my mothers made me extremely uncomfortable.
I also have a friend at church that said her baby would pull off anything over her head, and so her solution to that was to tie it around her neck, and wedge the ends of it back behind her back and baby would give up after awhile. She made sure to use a lightweight breathable fabric.
I do NOT think a mother should HAVE to hide in a bathroom stall, or go to the car. I do NOT think that as a society its really anyone's business HOW or WHEN people feed thier baby (breast feeding or bottle alike).
However I can say honestly..if at all possible, the breast should be coverd as much as possible, during breast feeding, and if your infant will not cooperate with "descreat " nursing (such as blanket, shawl..shirt covering breast area)...in other words if the child just likes you bare chested and thats it...then perhaps shedule things around baby's feeding time. Or get one of those bottles that mimicks the baby 's mouth having to manuver it as it does when breast feeding , and pump for those "outtings" in advance .
Because why suffer your child a blanket over thier head, or anything like that..if they dont like it , and it turns 'nursing" into a negative experience. nursing should be "positive" and as stress free in my opinion.
I realise some may take my comments as "she doesnt know, she's never done it"...and I would agree.
I'm just going on what I've been witness to, and how I think society as a whole is way to "involved" in how , when , or why people feed thier baby's as they do.
But...again. I've never done it. I dont know what its like. And I can imagine there are a few mothers that have tried IT ALL..and find what works best for them, may not always "thrill" people.
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Curious,
Pretty much what I do with my newborn is what you suggested in your post. I pump and feed when in public simply because that's what's easiest for me. My child is not adopted (things have changed since this thread was started for me) and I make enough milk to feed an army of babies, so this isn't an issue for me. But most women who are inducing lactation do not have the luxury of pumping and feeding later because they don't make enough milk to have a full supply...i.e. they can only make enough milk to feed their baby when the baby needs to be fed and can't feed baby before leaving plus pump for when they'll be out.
I too feel that women should not have to go to bathrooms (when was the last time anyone ate their lunch sitting on a public toilet?) or go out to the car, or whatever. But I do feel I should be as discreet as possible because I would like the same courtesy in return. The woman you described in the grocery store would have made me really uncomfortable. The woman you described in your living room would have been asked to leave my living room...my house my rules lol.
usisarah
Curious,
Pretty much what I do with my newborn is what you suggested in your post. I pump and feed when in public simply because that's what's easiest for me. My child is not adopted (things have changed since this thread was started for me) and I make enough milk to feed an army of babies, so this isn't an issue for me. But most women who are inducing lactation do not have the luxury of pumping and feeding later because they don't make enough milk to have a full supply...i.e. they can only make enough milk to feed their baby when the baby needs to be fed and can't feed baby before leaving plus pump for when they'll be out.
I too feel that women should not have to go to bathrooms (when was the last time anyone ate their lunch sitting on a public toilet?) or go out to the car, or whatever. But I do feel I should be as discreet as possible because I would like the same courtesy in return. The woman you described in the grocery store would have made me really uncomfortable. The woman you described in your living room would have been asked to leave my living room...my house my rules lol.
Well if we are only allowed to comment on things we have experience on, I'd be banned from this site LOL!For me, since I have such an abundant supply, I have to pump after most feedings anyways. So if I'm going to do that, I may as well pump as much as possible before leaving, feed from a bottle while I'm out, and pump again after feeding when I get home.I just think that whipping out the entire breast makes the woman seem like some animal. I think the vast majority of women who breastfeed in public are discreet...I've yet to see a nipple in public lol!
LOL, yes. I agree. I've only had a "few" exposures to other womens nipples in public. I do have a friend that the baby WILL NOT nurse unless she is completely "bare chested" (no shirt, no bra, no nothing).
She's spent a LARGE part of her 8-mo olds life simply being in a room and nursing. She said for the large part she feels like a DAIRY COW (in a stall).
I try to encourage her...but she's already stated, when this child hits 10 months..I'm starting the weaning process..I want my boobs and my life back. (lol).
And you know for those "im gonna whip it out whereever I want to" folks. Well...I cant say I "enjoy" seeing the "other peoples nipples) that I've experienced. But it certinaly didnt scar me for life..and hey..there are BIGGER problems we have today besides "seeing nipples". :)
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I have really appreciated, and agreed with, the recent comments on this thread. I think when it comes to breastfeeding in public, we all pretty much agree. Hearing about moms who can pump tons of milk makes me quite envious! I could never pump much milk and by "much" I don't mean just a few ounces, I mean just a few dribbles. By my fifth child, I could sometimes get a half ounce, pumping the opposite side while nursing. I never had the chance to try domperidone, which helps most moms do much better with a pump than without it. The only way I produced milk was with a baby suckling. Sometimes, I gave them a small bottle of formula, if we were going to be in a situation that would be especially difficult to nurse in. Usually, I just tried to find a place to sit that was a little bit out of the way, like next to a wall or something. I always wore loose tops that could be easily lifted up from the waist, with pants or skirts. I had been scared to death to try it with my first two kids. With my third, we were living in Germany, where no one but maybe other Americans would have cared if I had taken my top off. Once I had tried it a few times, I was amazed at how easy it really was to nurse discretely in front of people. When the babies got older, it wasn't always as easy, because of them tending to pop off without warning, to try to see everything that was going on, grabbing my top and lifting it up, etc.. With an older baby, however, it was easier to put them off for a while, until we got to a more convenient place. I, personally, don't care if moms just expose everything to nurse in public. However, it makes me uncomfortable on behalf of all the other people whom I know will be upset by it. I think every time someone does that, they are setting North American nursing moms and babies back on their quest for social tolerance.Oh and, Usisarah, congratulations on the baby!
Thanks neolan1!You know, I'm much more likely to nurse in public when there are more people around. If I'm in a store or restaurant and there's only a handful of people, I'm more likely to wait to go out to the car if the temps aren't extreme or something. If I'm at the mall where there's tons of people, I'm more likely to sit and nurse with my nursing cover. I guess I feel like the fewer people there are, the more likely they are to see me and feel uncomfortable. I don't really feel like I'm obligated to make sure the people around me are comfortable, per se, but I guess it's more of a courtesy thing for me. The fact of the matter is it does make a lot of people uncomfortable, and whether I think that's right or not, I think about how I would feel if there was something someone else was doing in public that made me uncomfortable. If it wasn't too much effort for them to change what they're doing a little, I'd appreciate it a lot. So that's why I'm conscious of how others feel about it I guess.