Open mouth, Insert foot - ramble

This is long, but I feel the need to get it out. You would think by now that I would learn to just keep my mouth shut. After all, most people think I'm pretty quiet anyway, and I'm usually okay meeting that roll. But tonight, well, I was too stubborn to listen to myself. There was a get-together of ladies at church, a smallish group, and I kept feeling like I was being cut off and interrupted everytime I started to say something. It could be that I was just too quiet for them to hear, or perhaps ... I don't know, but I was getting frustrated. Anyway, as the evening progressed and the official stuff ended, we were all sitting around talking about parenting kids and discipline. Given that I was the only one there without kids (if you don't count the teen we had for 7 months last year) I felt a bit out of the loop, and like anything that I could contribute would just be dismissed. For the most part I didn't say anything. One mom voiced her frustration at not being able to spank her kids or such anymore (we aren't talking about beating, but giving a swat or two on the bottom, though in this case it wasn't with a bare hand). So she feels the only way to get her point across is to yell, which isn't working so well. However, that family has recently been involved with CPS. Her DH moved out till the case plan progressed, and now he is back home but the court is still involved supervising how things are going. Anyway, she must of said something to her kids along the lines of "Stop it or I'll spank you" or something like that, just a threat but not really meaning it. Her kid responded with "If you do, I'll just tell the school." Which is how CPS got invovled in the first place. She said, "Go ahead. Then you will have to go live somewhere else. Is that really what you want?" Meaning a foster home. Now, I'm pretty sure most people in the room forget that DH and I are foster parents because we didn't exactly broadcast it and FFS left almost 8 months ago. After a few comments, I spoke up and said how "it is hard to disipline when children who may come into our home can't even have their hands slapped if they are reaching for something hot; it limits what you can do". Yeah, foot put into mouth royally, or I felt like I did. I should have just kept my mouth shut. After that comment there was no other follow up to it and the conversation went back to where it was before. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not on the same wavelength as these ladies and I should just remember to keep my mouth shut. I don't view this family as being on the other side of the coin, but I guess they are in that they are the ones that CPS is involved with and whose kids often end up in care if the parents aren't willing to cooperate. It really puts a personal spin on things as I know some of what has been going on there and can see how other stresses in life just resulted in a bad cirumstance. Now, I can't take back the insensitive comments, but I'm also not sure how to encourage this family. I know she didn't mean anything personal by the comment. I too wouldn't want my kid going to live with others. Nothing personal, but it isn't really the best situation. Sometimes when I feel like I'm am stressed to my limit I think of this family, and all that the parents are having to do. It is unfortunant that the oldest has learned that he has the power to cause problems (and hold it over their heads) just by telling the school something in particular. I guess I'm just a bit uncomfortable around this family being a FP and knowing that they are still dealing with CPS. Almost like I'm the bad guy, when really all I want to do is provide a good home to kids who may need one. It also makes me a bit hesitant to be happy about any placement we get; the next one is supposed to be Friday. Okay, pity part over for now. I really do tend to beat myself up over stuff like this. I think I will work on not talking as much unless I have something less self-centered to contribute.