Movie - A place between a story of Adoption

It would be interesting to see so I will watch for it... Sounds like the brothers are two different personality types compounded by the older one remembering reality so acceptance of the change was perhaps easier, and perhaps the older one fitting the personality of the AP's more than the younger one... I get the feeling of being between two worlds even though I am the same race as my parents... Sometimes it just doesn't work...sometimes they come around but it takes a long time. D

Hmm.... that sounds pretty interesting. I'll have to add it to my blockbuster que. I've been noticing more & more films about adoption lately. It's been interesting to see another view.

Hi SupaModel, I am very interested in watching this movie can tell me where to find it? I have looked on Netflix's and Amazon. Thanks,

I rented it on demand in the documentary section.

I haven't seen it but my mom had a similar story from one of her coworkers... He adopted a kid from North Africa and lived in a very white suburb of Paris, and the kid kept getting stopped by the police and whatnot, just because of his race... he actually resented his parents for adopting him.It's that story that steered me away from transracial adoption too... I don't know the aparents in question but I'm sure that it depends a lot on the temperament of the child too... just very sad all around.

I think it depends on the parents - it's not fair to put it on the child. The parents have to be willing to see themselves as a transracial family, and make the necessary changes in their lives and environment to make sure that their child grows up feeling secure in him/herself as a minority.

Yeah I definately agree with that. I think you have to realize that you're going to have to take extra steps to make sure your child is a confidant person & secure with themselves, including their race.

Oh definitely... if that kind of things happened to my kids I'd be looking for another place to live. I just don't believe it's always 100% the parents... some kids will take it harder no matter what.

It depends on the child's age at adoption and personality. The biggest part is the aparents way of incorporating that child into their lives. I try to read adoptee blogs whenever I can find them. There are some pretty angry adoptees out there and most are transracial adoptions. Most of the issues involve the aparents not addressing how the child is being treated in their community and helping them find an identity. They leave it up to the child to find their own identity. I've seen a number of international adoptees move back to their country of birth to figure out who they are. I just got the magazine that the agency we used publishes. They had an article written by an international adoptee. It was an extremely painful read. He said his aparents provided him with love, a good education and material things but he didn't get support dealing with the isolation and racism in their community. An ethnic or racial identity is very important to some people and not important to others. Aparents need to figure what each individual child needs and address it. You have to parent the whole child... not just the part you know or that you are comfortable with.

I'm definitely interested in seeing the film, I'll have to look for it. Supa/everyone, speaking of documentaries about adoption and race, have you seen "Off and Running" about an AA teenage girl who is adopted by a CC lesbian couple and her journey? I found it extremely thought-provoking. [url=http://offandrunningthefilm.com/synopsis.html]Off and Running the Film[/url]

:cheer: SPOILER ALERT!!!:cheer: I saw "Off and Running", and liked it. I did wish that they had showed more of the older brother's story, because I think that the path his life took said a lot about him. The two grew up in the same house, and yet had very different goals and ideas about things. I was also a bit unsatisfied with the conclusion of the film...it seemed too quick, and there was not much explanation as to why she came around. I was also pissed at the parents and how oblivious they seemed to their daughter's mental plight - it seemed only to be about what they wanted and thought was right. Okay, maybe I didn't like the film that much HAHA!

I had the same impression Sbaglio. Also I felt bad for Avery when they showed pictures of her at Yeshiva school. I mean, talk about massive potential for feeling out of place. At least they had the decency to send her to a high school that had a lot more racial diversity.

Hey! Loved what you shared from a AP's perspective! I just watched the documentary yesterday and i think what the younger brother (Ashok) said was very important to understanding this whole situation: He said that his AP never learned or tried to know more about his native past and culture. To him, it is very important because no matter how "white" he grew up to be, being native is still a very important part to his identity. Curtis on the other hand, understood that he was in between the two cultures: he never saw himself as fully "white" nor fully "native". Curtis acknowledged that both his AP and bio parents loves him, and i think Ashok knows it too - it's just that he feel like his AP don't love him for ALL that he is (including his native blood). He grew up in a home where talking about the racism in school and getting bullied to his adoptive parents made him feel sad and even more alone because his white parents couldn't understand and all his dad ever said was "you're overreacting". So individualizing a very social problem, and making it sound like he had to change really screwed him up. Until he reconnected with his native roots. Same for Curtis: it helped him so much to learn that his mother was drunk and lost because HER parents were like that and that's all she knew and learned from them, because of residential schools, because of all the incest and sexual/physical abuse going on in their childhood... As much as Curtis might blame his bio mom for her life choices, we cannot overlook the incredible history that contributed to how these people are today. Ashok also said at some point that he was struggling to find himself and took it out on his AP parents sometimes. In the healing circle, he admitted to have said things he didn't mean and regret saying. The truth still remains that he feels complete when connecting with his native side, and that is not something we can hate him for. I agree that showing gratitude to his AP and keeping contact would be nice. But having experienced something similar to his juvenile detention experience (being thrown in a place where they forcefully try to change you - when all you needed was to feel accepted for who you are), I can say that the DEEP feeling of abandonment i felt is something i still haven't forgiven my parents for.

Some people have a "need" to be with their bio family... Also, there are bio kids who don't talk to bio parents. I think it stands out more in adoption... but people need to realize that adoption is based on loss.

Hmm.... that sounds pretty interesting. I'll have to add it to my blockbuster que. I've been noticing more & more films about adoption lately. It's been interesting to see another view.