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I am in central California. The foster agency I am working with has told us there is more boys in the system than girls. She also stated that she gets more requests for girls. Do any of you have an opinion on why this is? I have heard lots of opinions thrown out from boys are more likely to be autistic, downs, maybe adhd etc? That some people are more protective of their daughters than sons fearing sexual/physical abuse more with girls? Last maybe adoptive parents fear less abuse towards their own children?
I figured it was an exaggeration but in the classes I took it did seem like more people were interested in girls. When I look through listings it does seem like there is more boy pics. Opinions? :fish: :loveyou:
Do some of you have the opposite experience of more girls being available and more boys requested?
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CaddoRose
Just from comments and conversations, most people ( general population) think that girls are easier than boys, especially when they reach the teen years. A lot of this perception has to do with the physical size/strength of a boy versus a teen girl. My last foster girl had two sibs placed elsewhere, one sister, one brother. The girls were easy, but the teen boy was not. The girls were RU'd with a relative, but no one wants the boy. I hear this story over and over with foster parents I know.
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Everyone wanted our 2 yr old girl but not the 3 and 4 yr old boys. Sure she was cute but so were the little boys. I couldn't figure it out. They were so little! Now I can almost tell you without a doubt that my 9 yr old will be a handful as a teen. My boys I believe are more troublesome now and I can see them mellowing out as they become active with school activities etc. I personally prefer boys (or tomboys :) ) I am not girly and HATE girl drama. Can't stand it to this day. I will happily parent boys.Our area is floaded with boys and it is mostly 8and up age range. Maybe PP are on to something about size/strength and fear of the unknown coming into play with our decision making.
CaddoRose
Just from comments and conversations, most people ( general population) think that girls are easier than boys, especially when they reach the teen years. A lot of this perception has to do with the physical size/strength of a boy versus a teen girl.
CaddoRose
Just from comments and conversations, most people ( general population) think that girls are easier than boys, especially when they reach the teen years. A lot of this perception has to do with the physical size/strength of a boy versus a teen girl.
I am loving all of this incite you ladies rock. Awesome info and opinions. :thanks:One reason this interests me is that a while ago in the paper they ran an article stating that in China and India men would outnumber women by 20% by the year 2020. So I figured I would adopt girls thinking that most people wanted boys....Only to find the opposite. Life is so interesting.
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I have 5 boys. All I have heard since having my second boy is "Oh you are lucky not to have girls they are harder because they are so terrible as teenagers" Supposedly boys are harder as littles because they are wild and get hurt more often, girls are harder as teenagers.All I know is my boys are my boys. I have at least one boy who I think will be just as much drama as a girl when he hits his teens. We are only taking girl placements. We have plenty of boy in the house, the boys want a sister and dh wants a daughter. I would love to take a boy/girl sibling set but right now we don't have the space. So that is why we made our choice.
I wanted a girl the first time so much. I don't know why, it was a really strong feeling inside. I certainly didn't think boys would be harder to raise, actually I think girls can be extremely complicated teenagers, often much more so than boys. I did think that as a single lesbian I would find it harder to do the puberty and sex talks with a son because I can't speak from any experience whattsoever of boys and puberty and sex, apart from hazy memories of my brother as a pre-teen to teen. I also felt it might be easier for me to contain a girl who became violent than a boy who would probably be stronger. I am actually more a tomboy, I am not a girly girl, and I hoped not to have a very girly daughter! But honestly, I still wanted a girl, although I expected a challengeThe second time, I was approved with a girl in mind because of Gem's needs, rather than any personal preference of my own. I would have been happy with a son, she wouldn't have been at that point in timeShe was about ready a couple of years later, and it so happened my Little Man (GG's bio brother) needed adoption, so along he came. He is so far the easiest, and I think he is adorable :) I am very happy to have a son at last!
NotDoneYet
I think most women want at least one daughter and the women are usually the ones who come up with idea to foster.
We were blessed with a toddler boy, then his newborn brother. We were happy to continue to take boys until we decided they didn't need to share their space anymore, they deserve THAT. Since we only had one additional room, we let it be known we hoped for girl placements and we've been blessed with wonderful little girls, including our STBAD. When I last spoke to the placement team, I made an offhanded comment that we'd let them know when our adoption is finalized so we can be placed with another infant, he rather grumpily replied, "Everyone wants a baby girl." I am sure their job can't be easy but we're just looking to help at this point, not even looking to adopt again. Ah well. :wings:
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I prefer parenting boys (so far, haven't hit teenaged-hood yet). We've got 2 boys and a girl (a tomboy styled one) at home. We're planning on adopting again later, although we'll be open to either gender I'll be secretly rooting for another boy.I live in fear that my daughter will get caught up in the whole pink and frilly princess world. I'm much more comfortable playing lego and cars then Barbies and tea parties.
I've been to numerous adoption fairs and been to several that had ZERO or no more than TWO girls and probably 50 plus boys available
I'm speculating but I imagine girls are more often sexually abused and that's less talked about and not so "visible", while other physical abuse shows.
I don't know.
Wishing -- Interesting analysis re why more girls are wanted. (Looks like some of your million and a half books were different than mine... heh!) I said I wanted 2 boys, same time, siblings, so I could keep siblings together. My licensor tried to "cleverly" ask me different times and different ways, "Are you sure you don't want a girl instead of a second boy?" I almost said, "I hear that YOU wanted one girl, one boy." (Which she had/has.) Did she really imagine that someone had not thought it through?
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our preferred is a girl, although there was a little boy we applied for and didn't get :hissy:
At one of the adoption fairs, we were talking to a couple social workers in the state and asked them to remember us if they found a little girl that'd be a good match for us :eyebrows: They said we needed to change our mind about a girl because it had been over 2 years since a girl had been on their case loan.
our reasons for preferring a girl probably have more to do with our relationships with my brothers girls than anything. I don't think either of us think it'll be "easier".
What I have always heard is that girls were easier to raise overall. My mom and I were talking about that and the possible reasons, and she said that she begs to differ....my younger brother always was and even as an adult, continues to be a challenge.Perhaps that could also be due in some part to birth order?As for me, I have expressed that I will take either sex, but if you held up 2 kiddos who were the same except for their sex, I would lean toward the boy. Partially due to me being just a regular tomboy and being raised with mostly boys.