Good therapist or bad?

Run far away from this therapist. First, if your daughter has issues with attachment, she isn't going to attach to the therapist in an hour a week. And, if she is doing therapy for attachment, YOU need to be included in the therapy. If this therapist was doing therapy with a child who had a healthy attachment who had experienced a trauma(death, accident or something) I could understand the therapist finding a common area to help the child talk-but NEVER giving food or items against a parents request,

I see a couple of serious issues with this therapist - First, she is going against a direct request that you made. She is showing you no respect, so how does she think she can help your child with respecting and trusting you. This is something I would not tolerate.Next, for a child with attachment issues, food should come from the parent. The core of attachment problems is that the child doesn't trust the parent to take care of their basic needs. Food is a basic need and the therapist should be aware of the importance in your providing it. She is doing harm, IMO.Lastly, never should an attachment disordered child be seen by a therapist without the parents in the room. This is basic attachment therapy 101. The goal of attachment therapy is to create a bond between the childe and the parents. How can that happen if the parents are not there?I don't believe this therapist has any clue about threating attachment disordered children. The job of an attachment therapist is to facilitate the building of attachment in the children. They do this by reinforcing to the child that the parents are capable of caring for them. They do this by actions, words and attitude.I would do as LucyJoy suggested - run.

No, you're not wrong. Not only does this therapist COMPLETELY misunderstand about attachment therapy, but her actions might be considered unethical. Taking a child for food without permission crosses many boundaries. Don't feel bad or try to ease out of this. Just call her and say that as you've educated yourself about attachment therapy, you've realized that she is not helping your daughter and you won't be back. Susan W.

Hi, I am new to the forum. I saw in one of your earlier posts about you had trouble with your wife's fingerprints and had to have an FBI name check. Did you have to wait 6 months for the FBI to do that name check? This has happened to me and I never heard of this happening to anybody else. We have waiting for the name check for 8 weeks. We are waiting to be approved and this is the only thing we are waiting for. Its very frustrating! Can you tell me more about this? Thanks

Hi yekroc,It was a long time. If I recall we had the first set of prints taken in November, then were called back a second time. Then those didn't work, and they had to get a special finger printing machine, and that didn't work. Basically, once the whole process was done, it was April. The two main issues were my wife has very thin fingerprints, so the prints were not good enough to be read accurately. We joke that she could make a good thief if even the FBI can't read them. The whole fingerprinting this was brand new in Mass at that time as well, so that may have been the other issue in the delay, they just weren't coordinated with the state agencies yet.I can hear your frustration. Hang in there, they'll come, and then you can be posting posts like mine, where the child is completely flumaxing you, and you will laugh at the days when you were patiently waiting for you prints. We, this morning, are recovering from an hour+ meltdown last night. It's a journey.

Hi Kg02, Thanks for the reply. Yes it is very frustrating! But I have finally decided to chill. Might as well, can't do anything else right now. My husband and I are in our 50's and it frightens me a little when everybody says they have meltdowns. HA! I know it happens but since we've never had any children of our own, we will be completely new parents. We have had experience with all ages of kids though through church groups for a lot of years. I'm sure we will find the right child and things will be ok, its just scary sometimes. Thanks for your reply. Yekroc:thanks:

:thanks: Hi Kg02, Thanks for the reply. Yes it is very frustrating! But I have finally decided to chill. Might as well, can't do anything else right now. My husband and I are in our 50's and it frightens me a little when everybody says they have meltdowns. HA! I know it happens but since we've never had any children of our own, we will be completely new parents. We have had experience with all ages of kids though through church groups for a lot of years. I'm sure we will find the right child and things will be ok, its just scary sometimes. Thanks for your reply. Yekroc:thanks:

We had a problem with our as and workers in a psychiatric hospital. He came home with a brand new pair of shoes, three shirts and socks. It is totally inappropriate for anyone working with children like that to give them gifts or food without the parents permission. Our son went to get help not clothes. He is very manipulative and purposely only took one pair of socks with a hole in them even though he had at least a dozen more at home. It doesn't help them heal if other people in position of authority fall for their stories and give them stuff.

We had a similar situation. We have a much older child (15 year old boy) and we were actually receiving in-home services where the therapist would take the child out for an hour or so a couple times a week and then spend some time with the family as a whole. This child had behavioral issues and when he was grounded or had received a consequence the therapist would seem to go against our authority. For example, the consequence was no extraciricular activities..he would let him watch a movie on his laptop. Consequence of no dessert...he would take him out for ice cream. Not to mention just general rules. Our rule is no soda for our kids during the weekend and not to mention this particular child has an issue wan aneuresis. The therapist would take him out the middle of the week for a big gulp and not tell us and we would find out in the middle of the night when he had an accident. It got to the point where on therapy days the child would refuse to do anything he was told chore wise. When we would tell the therapist that he could not go to his therapy until he did his chores, the therapist would insist on coming over and helping him with his chores...this chore being making his bed. This child knew exactly what he was doing and the therapist was encouraging defying our authority and rules..the exact thing he was supposed to be helping us with. After the last incident regarding the chores, we immediately stopped the services and re-gained control over the situation. I can honestly say there was absolutely no benefit to our situation other than his behaviors did without a doubt escalate during this time. If a therapist is not working with the parents and what they decide for their children, then I do not see how a therapy can be effected at all. Based on my personal experience, I would end this relationship immediately.

The therapist works for you and should not go against your wishes for your child. Find someone who will respect your views.