Shower issues

I'm going to suggest, you end playtime early, or not allow him to sleep in....and make a daily bath mandatory. Once it starts impacting his schedule, the quick/easy of the shower will be more appealing. After a week or so, start commenting on how much he's missing out on, because the bath takes so long. Time it for him, to see how much longer it is. Then offer to let him have the shower "race" the bath to see which is quicker. Once he sees how much time he'll save and how easy/quick it is, he might be more likely to try.If he doesn't shower/bath he isn't 'ready for the day" and therefore he doesn't go anywhere.....until he's clean.I would look into getting a clear plastic shower curtain, as this may have more to do with claustrophobia. Being able to see through the curtain to whats on the other side of the small enclosed box of a shower could alleviate a lot of his anxiety.My dd simply could not use the bathroom with the shower curtain closed. It turned out she was startled regularly as a toddler by someone hiding in the shower waiting to scare her. He is likely totally hyper vigilant.... Will he turn a blind corner without looking to see what's on the other side? Does he avoid getting boxed in, in public places. Does he do "tent/fort play" with blankets? How does he handle camping in a tent?

Have you tried allowing him to shower with his bathing suit on? This could be a PST trigger. If he was abused or ridculed during bathtime than he could be very afraid. It may trigger trauma memories and he may "freeze" or go into shock. Maybe he needs the security of a bathing suit. Just a suggestion.

And if the shower really doesn't work, we do "quick baths". A couple inches of water in the bottom of the tub, no bubble bath, no toys. Wash the hair, the body, the essentials. Get out.Not much more then a sponge bath, but significantly quicker.

Thank you all for really good suggestions! Now that school is over it's not quite as rushed at night, but even after a full day of playing at camp, he wanted to play catch last night -- and I had to tell him no because the bath would use up all that time... I like that idea of pointing that out & then racing the shower - this kid of ours LOVES to race! ;) There might be something to the PTSD trigger -- today he wanted me to pack him extra underwear so he could wear the ones he has on under his swim trunks... He is hitting puberty so it could be a support issue... I don't think it's modesty cuz he still isn't modest with me or my MIL or any other women... For him, probably not the claustrophobia -- he sometimes wraps himself all up in the shower curtain & he loves to hide & jump out at people - usually from under blankets (like you can't see a 10 year old sized lump under the bedding! so funny...) :D Again, thanks - All these are great suggestions and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. :thanks:

My husband and I have similar issues with our 10 year old. He hates bathing and showering. And sometimes we have had to make him go back and redo his shower because he gets in there and won't actually wash himself :) We also had issues with him wetting himself because he was playing with toys and didn't feel like stopping to go to the bathroom. We finally just carved a chunk of time out one saturday morning. My husband did the "big man hygiene routine" with him. He walked through all of the steps of a morning shower routine. We made a checklist and hung it on the bathroom mirror for him too. We even started him on deoderant (although he hadn't started needing it yet, we just wanted to make it a habit before that became a battle also). We started making it part of our sons morning routine. Even though he hates taking showers in the morning. So once we built it into the routine and got him in the habit, we have been able to be more flexible with when he takes a shower now that he knows and is comfortable with doing so. I know the reasons for your kid and my kid not showering might be different, but didn't know if any of this would be helpful at all :) Just wanted to share a tidbit of what we did to help. Good luck!

Is it just that he doesn't want to take the time to bathe (pretty typical boy behavior) or is it possible it is a trauma trigger? Being alone in a bathroom for more than a few minutes sends my daughter in a panic. She came to us at age 9, 18 months ago. She bathed in her bathing suit with me staying in the bathroom with her for the first few months. Then she started showering with me, which she still does. She won't go in public bathrooms alone, even the oen stall kind. There is a very strong possibility of sexual abuse in her past and bathrooms absolutely terrify her.