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I called my sister to tell her I may be getting an adoptive older sibling group:banana: She said COOL I am watching a movie with my husband can you call me back tommrow it was 10 at night I had tired early they did note answer. Her kids are away at camp and having some alone time with hubby and there baby. WHich is great for them.
But if she had called me to say she was having another kid even thought it would be bad for her health I would have not said CAN YOU CALL ME BACK. I would have been happy for her.
I was kind of hurt. I took class for foster care in 2007 and divorced moved and took them again. Have been lisenced a few months. But it is all I have thought about for 2 and half years and worked for.
It is just my sister she is just like this and I need to get over it but thought if other people told me how there family acts when it comes to adopting older kids. It might help me with my sister.....
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some ppl are just supportive and some are not....but I will say my experience is when you mention teens or older children, most ppl are not supportive. I very much dislike this, teens need a place to live also... I used to be very convinced that I am meant to adopt a teen, however, Ive had 3 now and I will say this.... they are HARD!!!!
as far as people being supportve... stick with those who are and just don't speak about it with those who aren't.. this is your life... I know for sure my friends and family get tired of hearing about it from me....its all I talk about...lol
good luck to you!
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some ppl are just supportive and some are not....but I will say my experience is when you mention teens or older children, most ppl are not supportive. I very much dislike this, teens need a place to live also... I used to be very convinced that I am meant to adopt a teen, however, Ive had 3 now and I will say this.... they are HARD!!!!
as far as people being supportve... stick with those who are and just don't speak about it with those who aren't.. this is your life... I know for sure my friends and family get tired of hearing about it from me....its all I talk about...lol
good luck to you!
I you sure she was really watching a movie? Maybe she wasn't really meaning to be rude. My sister thinks I'm crazy for being a foster parent. For that matter, she doesn't ever want kids even. Anytime you tell someone something exciting about something that doesn't interest them in the slightest, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. I know my friends are probably tired of hearing about kids I "may" be getting, because it almost never happens. But they are much more celebratory with me when I really do get new kids. I'd give sis the benefit of the doubt and not expect her to be as excited as you are. Sometimes I even have to tell my hubby, "be excited! I need you to be as excited about this as I am! Or at least fake it!"
Our family was not real pumped about our older kids coming either, but once they were here, they were very excited. Now they are so much a part of the family that no one would ever guess they were adopted. None of our family referes to them as "my adopted grandkids, neice, etc" just "my grandson" or "my neice"
Probably the best thing to do with your sister is to explain to her how you are feeling (I have been looking forward to this for so long. I am so excited. It is very much like someone who is expecting. I can't wait to see them, hug them, see what their personality is like etc.)
We really can't expect others to know what this is like when they have not been through it.
Also, it helped our family a lot to hear us being realistic about adopting older kids ("There will be challenges. I know this won't be easy, but we know we can do it." Bear with us, there will be some bumps along this road!) Along those lines. My MIL was impressed when she saw my bookshelf full of books about attatchment and parenting adopted children. I think it made her feel better about our decision.