My EX it trying to give my unborn child up for adoption!

What state is she trying to put the baby up for adoption in? There are states (Utah for one) that if the mother delivers there, the fathers have almost no rights.It looks like Oregon doesn't have a paternity registry. When were you legally divorced (or were you ever married?)?Here's a brief overview of Oregon laws. Paternity info is on page 5.[url=http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/oregon-laws,5.html]Oregon Adoption Laws, Page 5[/url]

I personally would register in as many states as possible with the western half of the US a higher priority as well as FLORIDA and GEORGIA. Cover all the basis you can and ensure you include California as well. Utah is the WORST state. If she even mentioned she was going to UTAH the clock is ticking (or she can say she did) - you have 20 days to file a "Notice of commencement of paternity proceeding" which is what UTAH named the Putative Fathers Registry form just to make it more difficult. That form requires very specific information and actions on your part that must all be included and notarized or it is rejected. You state she has cut off contact so ask your lawyer about publishing notices in her home paper and anywhere you think she is currently residing of your intention to support her and be a father. The form is not available on line nor can you find info about it online from the Utah Dept of Health just to make it harder. Utah Putative Father RegistryStatutes: Utah Code Ann. 78-30-4.14(2)(b)(ii-iii)Obtain form from, and return form to: State of UtahDepartment of HealthOffice of Public Health DataBureau of Vital Records288 North 1460 WestP.O. Box 141012Salt Lake City, UT 84114-1012Tel: 1-801-538-6380 and 1-800-538-6363Notarization required. (I would send certified with written reciept). The following is taken from a link I will send you via PM as it has an agency name so I can't post it on the forum. A. The Statutory Framework for Unmarried Biological Fathers Applicable to Mr. O'Dea 28 Under Utah law, an unmarried biological father of a child under six months of age waives all rights in relation to his child, including rights associated with consent to adoption and notice of a hearing, if he does not strictly comply with the requirements set forth in section 78-30-4.14(6). Utah Code Ann. ֧ 78-30-4.14(11). An unmarried biological father can only establish himself as a person who must consent to the adoption of the child if he strictly complies with the following requirements: (a) initiates proceedings to establish paternity under Title 78, Chapter 45g, Utah Uniform Parentage Act; (b) files with the court that is presiding over the paternity proceeding a sworn affidavit: (i) stating that he is fully able and willing to have full custody of the child; (ii) setting forth his plans for care of the child; and (iii) agreeing to a court order of child support and the payment of expenses incurred in connection with the mother's pregnancy and the child's birth; (c) consistent with Subsection (7), files notice of the commencement of paternity proceedings with the state registrar of vital statistics within the Department of Health, in a confidential registry established by the department for that purpose; and (d) offered to pay and paid a fair and reasonable amount of the expenses incurred in connection with the mothers' pregnancy and the child's birth, in accordance with his financial ability, unless: (i) he did not have actual knowledge of the pregnancy; (ii) he was prevented from paying the expenses by the person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the child; or (iii) the mother refuses to accept the unmarried biological father's offer to pay the expenses described in this Subsection (6)(d). Id. 78-30-4.14(6)(a)-(d). These requirements must be completed before the day on which the birth mother executes her consent for the adoption or relinquishes the child for adoption. Id. ǧ 78-30-4.14(6). The following PDF is from the NH probate court and is current as of 2010 and lists 20 different states that have putative fathers registries and addresses etc - some may have websites where you can download the forms. [URL="http://www.courts.state.nh.us/probate/registrylist.pdf"]http://www.courts.state.nh.us/probate/registrylist.pdf[/URL] Act quickly if you want to parent your child. Kind regards,Dickons

No advice, just hugs and a few choice words for someone who would do this. . ..Good luck!

Oh, has your attorney contacted the agency to inform them officially that you do NOT agree to this adoption? If not, that should happen ASAP and in a manner that can be admitted as evidence in court.

So sorry you are going through this. Make sure the attorney you are using is well versed in adoption law. Also if you find out she is leaving the state you might want to find an attorney in the state in which the "placement" is scheduled to take place. I hope that the mother of the child realizes that adoptive parents are just like the general population meaning: Divorce happens, job loss happens, they may be married rich and happy today, but who knows where they will be a few years from now. I wish you the best and hope you can find the help you need.

Update: My attorney is filing with the state to make me in the same legal standing as if we had been married at the time of conception. I have spoken with the mother and yep, she is very angry with me for ruining her plans. She says she has already chosen the adoptive parents, and is too pregnant and tired to deal with that process all over again in another state, so I believe that she will not make a run for it. I called the corporate offices to the adoption agency, and notified them of my intentions, and to my disgust with the caseworker for trying to exclude me from the process. I received a Very heartfelt apology for this person's actions which were against their policy and ethical code of conduct. To sum it up I read between the lines and heard, "Please don't sue us!" repeatedly. So I have succeeded thus far!

File in Utah just the same... And keep in touch daily with your child's mother. If she said she was too tired to go to another state you have actually been told she may chose that option or has been advised to do just that. Please please stay on top of it. Kind regards,Dickons

I agree with the bit about filing in Utah. Btw if she ever calls you saying "I'm on holiday in Utah" anytime during your pregnancy, you will have 20 days to file. That is the way some lawyers out there "start the clock" (a putative father has to file within 20 days of being told about the intent of the baby being born in Utah)

If you only knew of the hatred this woman has for the oppressive mormon religion. Not to worry about that one.

You still should register. Just because the baby could be born in Utah does not mean the adoptive couple is Morman, or even that they live in Utah.

Yep, I would register. There are people that want quick easy adoptions and don't care how they happen that use Utah.

If she's talking about starting again in another state, you'd better have your attorney let the agency know that you will sue the living crap out of them if that happens. Also, be sure to take Dickons' advice. You may want to show your attorney this thread if he isn't familiar with the variations between states. I'm so glad you've made progress. When is the baby due?

Would love to know what happened.

It's mindboggling that each State has a different approach. I had no idea. One would think that if a parent wanted custody there would be no challenge. I wonder if it the legislation in UTAH has something to do with the multiple wives thing.