Breastfeeding a newly-adopted 12 month old?

A little positive update on my attempt to nurse our adoption-in-process nearly 14 month old son (not finalized yet). He has shown a strong aversion to nursing at this point, pushing away strongly and arching is back to get away when I have tried to nurse him. So, the past few weeks, we have done a lot of skin-on-skin cuddle time when he takes his nap/night bottles. One day, while he took his bottle, he stroked his hand on my chest, and that was sweet. Like usual tonight, I sat in a low chair to nurse my 2 year old before bed time, and DS climbed up in my lap to sit with she and I. However, this time, when i put her down to switch sides, I lifted my shirt and he put his hand on my breast, looked carefully for a moment, then leaned in with his mouth!!! He wouldn't latch on, but he tried for a short moment. I know that is a tiny step, but I feel so good about it! Maybe this will work! Have any of your mothers who nursed adoptive babies tried the Lact-Aid trainer thing? I am wondering if that would be more "rewarding" to him to get more milk that I am producing currently. My 2 year old only nurses when she is going to sleep, so my supply is pretty small.

kaybie,Lots of moms here have used the lactaid. Neolani has lots of posts about it, and I know rd200 used it too. You could PM them.

Thanks! Usisarah

Tonight, he tried to suck on my nipple a few times! He just leaned in when I switched sides with his older sister. He bit me the first time, and as hard as I tried to not react, I didn't keep from yelping a little bit, and he cried (he cries easily), but he pulled up on my leg a minute later and tried to suck a little bit. Not long enough to get any milk really, but still, progress is progress!

What specifically would you like to know about the Lact-aid?? I used it for about 4 months w/my son. We got him straight from the hospital, so not really the same situation as your son. Thats good that he shows some interest in your breasts at least. The lact aid *could* help if you can get him to latch on and take a few sucks, he could get milk pretty quickly and maybe get that this whole nursing thing is a pretty good idea!! On the other hand, being older, the tubing he might not like and not suck at all. I guess you could try it and see what happens. Good luck, you are at least making progress..... Rach

I think you answered what I was kind of thinking. Whether or not he would take to it being as old as he is. The problem right now, now that he is showing interest in the breast, is that he won't latch on and suck enough to get any milk, so there is no "reward." I was wondering if the milk comes out of the lact-aid system fast enough to be a quick reward and keep him sucking? Right now, he takes a very quick suck or two then pulls back.

yes, if you putz with it and get it to the right position, it should work. You can adjust it either up or down to get it to flow faster. Or- when he goes in to suck, you could squeeze the bag and a bunch would come out and maybe he would then get some. You can certainly try it and see what he does. Good luck rach

That is a great idea about squeezing it so it would come out right as he put his mouth there! I hadn't thought of that. Thank you!!:clap:

A totally "No Go" so far, as he Hates the tubing, even when I dribble some milk into his mouth. He fights and pushes and tonight, grabbed the lact-aid bag and yanked hard enough that it separated from the plastic pieces and milk poured down my chest and clothes. Not fun. I ended up just giving him his bottle after trying for awhile. Is that okay? He will be 15 months tomorrow and I'm just discouraged thinking he is too old.

With Julia, I always had whatever she was used to ready and gave it right to her if she started to get upset. Try not to feel like you are on a schedule. I know it is hard not to, but if you do, it just works against you. I never got Julia to take the breast with the Lact-Aid, until after I had spent quite a while making small changes in her feedings. With her, and all of the other babies I have known about who were much older, the fact that they had been through a lot, emotionally, seemed to make them fearful of anything new. So, it was really important to make changes as small as possible. I don't think I ever would have gotten Julia nursing, if I hadn't decided to thread the supplementer tube through the hole of a bottle nipple. It worked real well, because I could start her out facing away from me, and even with it on top of a bottle, so she just thought she was getting a regular bottle. Then, when she was settled in, I could turn her toward me so that the bottle nipple was positioned over my breast. After a while, I could start her out in that position. I just fed her like that for a week or so, then I started trying to move the bottle nipple, after she was mostly fed and half asleep, but still sucking, and see if she would latch onto my breast. She would open her mouth but close it when her tongue touched my skin. I started rinsing my breast right before feeding her, thinking there must have been a little salt taste or something. I also used a latex nipple shield over my breast, with a Lact-Aid under it, for a few days, although I am not sure it helped much. When I tried to move it, one day, she started to fuss. I sat there for a second, wondering what to do next, when she suddenly latched on. She nursed for over a year after that. Anyway, in case you want to try the tube with a bottle nipple, here is a little more about it. You just get a rug needle or some real large needle and thread the tube through it.. Pull it through the bottom of the nipple hole and position it so that it is just barely sticking through. It has to be a nipple with only one hole in it. Otherwise, the baby will suck air along with milk. If the hole will seal around the tube, the baby will feed just like she drinking a regular bottle. I wide-base nipple is preferable. A silicone nipple can her used, but you have to be especially careful because the holes can tear easily, and then you can used it. A latex nipple is alot less likely to tear and also holds the tube more securely in place.I am struggling to stay awake, so I hope this makes sense!Aloha,Darillyn

With Julia, I always had whatever she was used to ready and gave it right to her if she started to get upset. Try not to feel like you are on a schedule. I know it is hard not to, but if you do, it just works against you. He's getting older, but it isn't like he will soon be too old to nurse anymore, if you know what I mean! He'll still have lots of months to benefit, even if it take a couple more months to get him started.I never got Julia to take the breast with the Lact-Aid, until after I had spent quite a while making small changes in her feedings. With her, and all of the other babies I have known about who were much older, the fact that they had been through a lot, emotionally, seemed to make them fearful of anything new. So, it was really important to make changes as small as possible. I don't think I ever would have gotten Julia nursing, if I hadn't decided to thread the supplementer tube through the hole of a bottle nipple. It worked real well, because I could start her out facing away from me, and even with it on top of a bottle, so she just thought she was getting a regular bottle. Then, when she was settled in, I could turn her toward me so that the bottle nipple was positioned over my breast. After a while, I could start her out in that position. I just fed her like that for a week or so, then I started trying to move the bottle nipple, after she was mostly fed and half asleep, but still sucking, and see if she would latch onto my breast. She would open her mouth but close it when her tongue touched my skin. I started rinsing my breast right before feeding her, thinking there must have been a little salt taste or something. I also used a latex nipple shield over my breast, with a Lact-Aid under it, for a few days, although I am not sure it helped much. When I tried to move it, one day, she started to fuss. I sat there for a second, wondering what to do next, when she suddenly latched on. She nursed for over a year after that. Anyway, in case you want to try the tube with a bottle nipple, here is a little more about it. You just get a rug needle or some real large needle and thread the tube through it.. Pull it through the bottom of the nipple hole and position it so that it is just barely sticking through. It has to be a nipple with only one hole in it. Otherwise, the baby will suck air along with milk. If the hole will seal around the tube, the baby will feed just like she drinking a regular bottle. I wide-base nipple is preferable. A silicone nipple can her used, but you have to be especially careful because the holes can tear easily, and then you can used it. A latex nipple is alot less likely to tear and also holds the tube more securely in place.I am struggling to stay awake, so I hope this makes sense!Aloha,Darillyn

That makes a lot of sense! You are very correct in how he reacts to new things. He hates them 99% of the time, at first. He has made great strides in his adjustment over the past 10 weeks, but it is still a long road.The idea about the rug needle and using a regular nipple sounds like it might be the perfect solution. He loves his bottle and soothes almost immediately when he is given it. I still do bottle feed him in the nursing position, usually against my bare breast, and he does very well with that. It was going from the bottle to tube that he dislikes so far.Thank you!!

Oh gosh, I just realized that it posted twice, last night. I thought it hadn't gone through, which seems to happen a lot on this site. I added a little to the second one.Darillyn

Any updates, Kaybiegirl? My husband and I are getting approved for a toddler adoption and I would LOVE to nurse. I'm hoping you've had more success with your little one!

Sarahdaisy,Good luck on your pending adoption! Toddlers are tons of fun, though different than adopting a newborn, so get some rest ahead of time :-) !As for the nursing, it was a no-go for us. I tried with the lactaid supplementer for awhile, but he hated it, would pull on the bag so that milk would spill everywhere, fight with all he had against the tube. I tried putting the tube through a bottle nipple, but he would have nothing to do with it.It is possible he would have eventually started nursing if I had worked at it every day for a long time, but given the fullness of my life right now, with two toddlers and a homeschooled elementary child, it was not worth the fight for me. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE supporter of breastfeeding and still haven't quite weaned my 2 year old, but for this boy, he just really detested it. He is attaching very well regardless and loves to be cuddled and hugged and is very affectionate with us all. He is happy and healthy (gaining almost 5 pounds in 3.5 months!) and thriving. I had wanted the nursing primarily for bonding, and he is doing beautifully even without it. He is still Definitely a toddler, which means he hates being told the word "no" and pushes all his boundaries repeatedly (lol), but he had no boundaries in his prior environment. So, the update is that nursing did not work out for our situation, but he is thriving and doing just amazingly anyway!Best of luck to you in giving it a try. I feel good knowing that I tried, even if it didn't work for us. Keep us updated on your adoption!