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Does anyone have any ideas for conversation starters with an 11 yr old girl?
We've covered the basics - what does she like to do, what kind of music does she like, does she like to read, etc. We've talked about different activities she could become involved in once she comes home. We've talked about different family gatherings we have and covered those bases.
She calls us each night which we love, but the conversation seems to lag. We talk about what we did that day and then we seem to have the awkward pauses.
Anyone have any ideas?
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oh, she's about the same age as the girl I nanny for (who was also a foster child before her adoption!) Its a fun age because they are getting kinda introspective and opinionated/educated, but it can be hard to draw it out of them sometimes...
You can ask her:
-Do you know what she wants to be when she grows up?
-What she hopes for the future
-What movie star she would want to hang out with
-what her proudest moment was
-What was something really really hard that she didn't think she could do but did?
-What animal best describes her?
You can tell her more about yourselves:
-Does she know how you met?
-Does she know about your favorite spot in town?
-Tell her about your most (benignly, age-appropriate) embarrassing moment
-What you liked to do when you were her are
-A place you hope to visit one day
-A bizarre job you had
-What you like to do together and alone
-If you had a childhood pet
Then you can also play "conversation games," like:
-One is where you start off saying something like "We are going to a picnic and I am going to bring an APPLE." then the next person has to remember everything that was said before them and add something from the next letter of the alphabet "We are going to a picnic and I am going to bring an APPLE and a BALL." then the next person says "We are going to a picnic and I am going to bring an APPLE, A BALL, and a CAMEL!" and you go on until you get to the letter Z
-You can make silly poetry together. One of you starts of with a short, short sentence....the next person who can think of a rhyme that flows with that will say it...and everyone builds onto the poem as they think of rhymes. This was one of our best car-ride games as kids. It seems whenever we got board we would go back to "There once was a baboon....who lived in a lagoon...and sat on a spittoon...."
-the Would you Rather game. A player poses a question of choices between to options. It can be benign "would you rather win a million dollars or be famous?" or "would you rather eat a cheese sandwich or a PBJ?" or it can be extreme and crazy "Would you rather sleep in a bed with a porcupine or a Crocodile." The players who are answering the question should give a brief or creative explanation like "Id much rather sleep with a porcupine in my bed because there's a hole in the sheets I've been meaning to sew up and I can borrow a quill to do that!"
Additionally, you guys might start reading a story together as a family. At 11 she doesn't need pictures to look at. Maybe she would enjoy Anne of Green Gables or a book you loved as a child. If you do a long, chapter book, you can read a chapter each night. Alternatively you can each find poems to read to each other. Ask her to find her favorite or to write one to share with y'all.
Have fun!!!
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Everything Somebodies Mama said!When I was first getting to know my son better, he was fifteen at the time, and I ran out of conversation I would just pose three word questions ... chocolate or vanilla? hot dogs or hamburgers? McDonalds or Burger King? Baseball or Football? Red or blue? And so on. It helped me get to know his preferences. Besides, at the beginning when he was reluctant to talk much, it kept the conversation going. Ten, as he got more comfortable, he would add a third choice ... Chocolate or Vanilla? "Strawberry is my favorite" Hey! That's the beginning of a real conversation!!!Enjoy! That's very exciting!
There are books and games you can get to help start conversations. We have the Food for Thought travel deck which I've used with teens and my foster kids. It has questions like if you were president for a day what 3things would you change. My 11 year old likes to journal. So maybe you could give her a topic each day and vice versa so when she moves in you've gotten to know eachother. Also how to decorate her room would be fun to discuss. And it's imperative to know what side of the Justin Bieber craze she is on. "Gross Mom. I just like his songs."
I too, wondered what she thought of Justin Bieber...:rockband: Be sure that whether she loves him or hates him, she talks about him at least a few times a day!
I also wanted to ad the game 20 questions.....
I like the PP comment about the deck of get to know you cards...Wish Id had a set of those when I was dating and had to make it through those awkward conversationless nights...on second thought, I might could still use a deck for when my husband and I have to stop talking AT each other (He wont stop talking about Harleys and I wont stop talking about kids...huh, strange!)
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My 11 year old daughter probably doesn't even know who Justin Bieber is. She likes ICarley (the t.v. show, not the person) and has recently told me that Hannah Montana is way too childish for her.Have you asked if she likes video games or just said, "Tell me about your friends?" You could even ask if there are mean girls at her school (that could be a weeks worth of conversation) or who her favorite teachers are and why.My 11 year old really likes to hear funny stories about when her dad and I were kids. Even our 10 year old FD likes those. Then again, my mom is hilarious, so any story involving her is guaranteed funny.Good luck!
