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We have been matching for about 4 months (straight adoption) in PA and out of state. Our PA SW does not really do any matching for us. We just look at the website and then inquire. AAN is wonderful and looks at the photolistings for us. We have inquired about 2 girls, one 11 and one 13 that the CWs said they really did not have moderate to severe needs and they really would fit into almost any family. The frustration is that all of the other girls from 9-12 yrs old have had histories of RAD, severe ODD, physical aggression towards adults, etc.
Just wondering if we should go up a few yrs or keep looking for our age range? We are willing to adopt up to moderate emotional/behavioral needs except for a confirmed dx of RAD & physical aggression. Has anyone successfully adopted a girl in this range with more mild behavioral needs? We don't expect the child to have no special needs. Are there any other avenues that we should look at?
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We adopted our daughter as an interstate straight adoptive placement a year and a half ago. She was 9 at the time. She was diagnosed with ODD, PTSD and ADHD. She had a history of aggression, 2 failed adoptions (prior to finalization) and 2 psych hospital stays. As we heard her to story, it all seemed so situational. She'd been falling through the cracks for a long time. We were right. She' has thrived with us and his healing in an amazing way. She's attached. She does have issues stemming from her trauma and is definately on the attachment spectrum (as will be almost any child from the foster care systme). It is so doable, though. Do your research, ask a ton of questions and go with your instincts. I blog about our journey almost daily. Blog address is in my signature.
I am wondering the same thing. Although we are in the process of finishing our home study, our private agency liasion is beginning to look. She takes a quick look at any photolistings that we send, at this point. Nearly all of the girls, age 9-13, have far more significant issues than what their public profile states (obviously).
We have 5 bio children, 3 who live with us and they are young (8,8 and 6). My stepkids are 11 and 13 and do not live with us, but nevertheless, protecting the 5 of them is paramount.
We really don't know what to expect or if we should be hopeful or not because it seems that the girls listed in a positive light are in fact, not going to be a match given your or my criteria (no RAD, PTSD or aggression).
I would love to hear other stories, both good and bad in terms of finding a match (or not!) and what we can expect in the process.