What happens if multiple families want to adopt?

We have had that happen for a family we knew. They had over 10 relatives who all wanted the children. It was actually to the point where they told people that because there were closer blood relations they wouldn't even be looked at, so peopel would stop requesting homestudies. Usually they will leave the kids where they are until the child is TPR'd and/or the adoptive resource is determined. They dont want to move the kids too often, but the sooner they can have them in their forever home, the better. If a family member comes forward and is approved, they will almost always get the child. They usually want to place with famiy first; there are rare exceptions, but they are always very extenuating circumstances. Just read through the forum and you will see a lot of stories. Love the little one while you can, but expect that he will be moved to family. It's hard, but that's our job as foster parents. :( I would probably try to reach out to the family with your Caseworker's approval so that after he is moved you have a chance of staying in touch with them.

Did these relatives know about the child being in care from the beginning or did they just find out? It would be very unusual for a child to remain in a foster home for two years if there was family available to take him and/or adopt.

i know some are saying that they will always choose family. if that's true they should go for the closest blood tie. however, if you've had the child for two years, in many places you have kinship standing and should hold as much legal standing as the biological relatives. our caseworker told us at a year that we had legal standing and that no relatives would trump us at that time. after two years, there's no family even trying. We're still waiting to see if they will tpr or not.

It varies greatly from state-to-state. You will need to find out what the laws are in your state. Several states have passed laws that put the foster family first in queue if the child has been with them for at least 12 months. (I believe NY is one of them.) Several other states have some recognition of the foster parent as the actual parent (i forget the phrase) after 12 months, and then the foster parent can petition for permanent placement as well. But, the vast majority of the states, no matter how long in care, will ALWAYS put family members first.

Our 2 yr. old FS is going through this right now. 4 petitions between relatives. His relatives compete for visitation rights and then lavish him with extreme vacations, gifts, privileges. Poor kid, I feel sorry for him having to come back to our house after one of his visits. The first judge took her sweet time. She ordered 6 more months in foster care since he was doing so well. That judge had some ethics issues (shocker) and decided to retire. Retired just 4 days, FOUR DAYS, before his final permanency hearing. New court date with new judge is in November. Poor little guy has been stuck in foster care for nearly a year now with all these relatives eager to raise him. There are 4 approved home studies including 2 ICPCs in place and still the little boy remains in foster care waiting on a judge to hear and make a decision. Grrr. GAL is finally pushing for temp. placement with a relative pending the outcome of final hearing. Waiting on a ruling now. I hope your situation goes a little better than ours!

All available and willing kinship resources are investigated for the best match.

We put in to adopt a sibling group of 3, whom we had done respite for numerous times. They had been in care for 3 years. A couple other local families also put in for these kids, as did an aunt who had NEVER met them, knowing they were in fostercare and never stepped forward, until the 11th hour. Guess who got the kids? The aunt, they had never met! Don't be suprised by anything, unfortunately.

If you want to adopt him, hire a lawyer. We are currently in a situation where foster parents dont want to adopt, but a respite family wants to adopt the sibling of our daughters, we want to adopt him, and, we are currently waiting on a placement trial in October. Nothing has surprised me the most w/ the system after this drama this case has seen.

Around here after 2 years the relatives wouldnt stand a chance. My agency looks very hard when the child is first placed. If a relative comes fwd in the first year, then they are considered. But after a year or more it just doesnt happen.

What was the outcome for this child?