Recruiting Foster Parents (Ideas?)

When a child is in custody, you are the most important person in the life of that child. It is important that you know your rights as a foster parent, it's important that you know behavior modification techniques, side effects of medications, manifestations of diagnoses, the rights of the child in state custody, how to advocate for your foster child at an IEP or 504 meeting, understand your role at "staffings" or Permenancy Plan meetings. I will pass this on to "The powers that be" at a federal level. I only work in one state, but will advocate for more trainings on the topics you all have shared an interest in, advocate for better communication and honest communication between Children's Services and Foster Parents, as well as share your recruiting ideas and dislikes. Please know you are not only the child's best advocate but also your best advocate. I encourage each foster and adoptive parent to email, call or write the administrators of the agency you foster for and let them know what areas you would like training in as well as concerns regarding the lack of communication and honesty between you and the Social Workers. I believe if we ALL speak up for these things, then we are more likely to be heard and see a change. I work and live in Tennessee. Therefore, if any of you live in Tennessee I will try to personally make sure you receive any trainings and/or advocacy you need. If any of you have any more ideas or concerns, please let me know. Again, I am so thankful to each of you for opening your heart and home to children. You all rock!

I can tell you why we don't foster, the classes. They are at ridiculous times for people who actually have jobs that don't end on the clock or who have family obligations. I am an attorney and hubby is a stay at home dad. We have a disabled child. The best we could figure out, classes always start at 5 and both parents must attend. Whether I can leave my office at 4:30 and find a sitter for my disabled child at 10 bucks an hour on a weekly basis is irrrelevant to whether we would be good foster parents. I am sure the rules could be bent in our situation (particularly considering we have tons of advocacy anad child rearing experience between the two of us) but the recruiter who answers the questions on the phone can never tell us if only one parent can attend, what happens if I am half an hour late, when the next two sets of classes are etc. . . Also, I think it is extremely hard to find the number to call to be foster parents on the internet or in the phone book. It would seem to me that every page on the DFS website should have a link to a page called, "become a foster parent" that tells you what number to call, what the stipend is, what the need level is right now for particular groups of kids and what services DFS offers to foster parents. For instance, I think a lot of two income families and singles would consider fostering if they knew daycare was covered and that they did not have to transport to visits etc. . . I could see how switching to recruiting would be attractive to you. I had to make a rule for myself that I will only take one foster kid case at a time. Its emotionally all consuming to try to advocate for these kids. I can leave all my real work at the office to an extent, but I lie a wake at night trying to figure out how to get what my foster care kids need. With recruiting, you would still be helping and fulfilling that part of your soul but you would not be taking on individual kids problems.

Honestly as bad as each state needs foster parents, I would think they should be willing to come to your home and do a one-on-one training for any missed classes. I know I certainly would. They could even do one or two make -up classes for anyone who has had to miss classes. I know in TN. you are allowed to miss one class, unless it's changed. It's sad too that as bad as each state needs foster parents, that it's so hard to get information on becoming one. I think every child-serving system Children's Services, schools, juvenile justice, mental health,etc. has so much room for improvement. Thank you for advocating for these children. With your experience, I'm sure you'd make a great foster parent. If you are dealing with the state regarding the classes, you might check with a private provider agency sometime they are more flexible regarding the classes.

We do not have private foster providers here that handle young children. And I agree. The law is that I have to take the classes. There are many agencies that offer them in home. Hmmm. . . I wonder if I coud sign up with one of those agencies and then transfer the classes. Something to think about. I also think its important to have the standards for foster parents and homes generally available. How big does your house have to be automatic disqualifiers, how many kids to a room etc. . . Really in this day and age, one shoudl be able to find that information out for any state with a simple google search. Actually, that would be a fun experiement to do. We could assign everyone a state and have them come back with answers to basic questions and how much time it took them to get the answers!

OK. Sleeping pill kicking in. Probably want to ignore my advice from and 1100 on!

Sounds like a great idea to me! I'll take Tennessee and Kentucky.

Re: Does anyone have any ideas on what would be the most effective method of recruiting foster parents?"I see that any activity you do within the community may give you the opportunity to speak about foster care, handout contact information for local agencies, and possibly recruitment of foster parents. In my own experience, years back, I decided to do foster care after sharing coffee time with another employee at my worksite. She pulled out many of her kid's pictures from her wallet and I inquired who they were because I had not seen those particular kid's pictures at her desk. She responded that those were her fostered children whom she fostered, that they grew to become very nice productive adults, and that she did this for many years. The continued saying that she carried them in her wallet's picture collection, like she carried them in her heart. I was impressed about her passion for the commitment and the love that she displayed in talking about "her kids". Soon after, I fostered. This is an example as a "recruitment" opportunity, however, here are some more suggestions:Speaking at any event is a good idea, and all it takes is a couple of minutes to introduce the idea to people. You will need to have plenty of pamphlets or flyers at hand for local agency contacts. An excellent opportunity would be at your worksite's lounge area where people get to speak on downtime, the School Office Posting boards and informational posting at events, Church gatherings, Fairs and other recreational venues where families participate, Doctor's Offices, Hospitals, Pharmacies, Personal Friend and Family gatherings, Store posting boards (at visible cultomer service areas), Restaurant posting boards, and any other regular places that you go to on a daily basis. Hope this helps, there aren't many foster parents, and the need is there.

Some of the best foster parents I know do foster to supplement their income. One in particular I know has stuck it out with a RAD child that had previously gone through 3 placements within the space of a year. She takes on kids that, frankly, people who self righteously stick their noses in the air, won't have in their homes. Yes, she's a Professional Parent. And several foster parent groups around here are based on being "professional parents". Even the state says, "Being a professional parent is a difficult job. It seems the rewards are few and far between, but when they come, they are priceless.". I know other people who few the subsidy as income that actively work with birth families---foster parents that not only invite families into their homes for visits, but work with those families through modeling and even in home (the foster home) daily living training and mentoring. Would I, or any of the other foster famlies I know, who are fostering to "get" a child do that? Pffft, no.

Great Ideas. Thank You!!

Actually, when I fostered ten years ago, I did work with the birth parents diligently. Believe it or not, a lot of DCS worker's frowned on it. I invited the birth parents over on Saturday nights for pizza and movies. If their plan stated they needed employment, then I would help by showing them how to type a resume. If alcohol or drugs were a problem, then I would get them information about rehab. I would make sure to invite them to IEP meetings when DCS didn't tell them about the meetings. I was honored to be able to be in a position to do those things. But like I said DCS wasn't fond of it. It's truely a team effort and it's all for the good of the child. There are those biological parents out there though that don't care enough to work their plan. My "want to" for them was bigger than their "want to". You can usually tell pretty quick when you have one of those parents who don't care and that's when I offerred assistance once, and then no more. Some though just really didn't know how to find services or get the help they needed.

Just wanted to add my two cents. Make the classes easier to complete. I definitely understand the need for training when working with foster kids, but don't make it so darn hard to complete the classes. And make the additional training easier to get. For example, my area does offer additional classes for higher level needs kids, which is great! But it is normally all day Saturday for a few Saturdays in a row. It is hard for us to find a sitter for that. Also, here FP are required to complete 30 hours of CE every two years. When FP have placements, it is HARD to get this done. Make it easier to get CE completed. One of the reasons we are going to close after our adoption is finalized is this requirement. (And also to have some privacy from all the CW, LW, and therapist visits back.) Have respite more easily available. It is like pulling teeth it seems when I ask for a respite for a weekend. So we just don't use it anymore. (Maybe another reason for our burnout?)

Here here on the training times! I'm in the same boat as you Jen. Not only were my husband and I forced to take off work early every Tuesday for 9 weeks but the only qualified respite provider for my disabled son (My sister who lives with us) was also required to attend. That left me with two choices. See if I could get extra nursing hours approved (fat chance) or locate and train someone to care for my son during classes. I ended up training two young women to care for him and paying both of them to watch him at the same time. I figured that way if one of them forgot what they were doing that maybe the other would remember. At the very least one could call me for help while the other freaked out. I would much rather take a few full days off work and just get the training done. That way you have one or two weeks where your schedule is off, not nine! (actually, 11 if you count CPR and First Aid that were offered separately) I also agree on the lying. I'm not even to the fostering part yet and I feel like I have been raked over the coals. As for complaining and going to higher levels, who dares? I'm afraid if I complain that I will get shunned when and if I do manage to get them to give me a license. The entire process of becoming foster parents definitely needs to be easier and more professional if they don't want to send 90% of the people running away prior to even meeting the kids.

Thank you so much for sharing you opinion!!

You said exactly what I was thinking. Being a foster parent is hard. Its harder than parenting your own kids. It required me to sit up till two in the morning talking to my fd who was sexually abused. I felt like I was the therapist!! Some of these kids come to us with extreme issues.. One thing I wish is that the recruiter and sw would have fully educated us about the behaviors and disorders that these kids have.. If we had been fully educated and given tools we could have done a much better job I think..

I agree. When I was a foster parent most of the children I had did have a diagnosis and most were taking medication. I wasn't educated on what behaviors were a manifestation of a child's diagnosis or what the side effects of medication were. That information would've been very helpful!