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I am beginning to prepare myself mentally that it is possible we might need to end a relationship with a therapist over the next year. Although I believe the therapist is a very good therapist, I dont see a response from our adopted 15 year old son. I want to continue to provide that resource as long as possible, but know there may come a point in time where you know if just isn't helping. Is this something you just tell the therapist you aren't doing anymore? Am I allowed to change therapists or does the child have to decide/agree? He has had therapists before, but that was when he was a foster child and DSS made those decisions. Now the decision is mine, or is it? Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks!
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You're his mother now, it's your decision. I would involve him in the decision though, that might help with the transition.
I would say, "Listen, I can tell you don't want to open up to this person. Are we wasting time if we interview some other professionals to see if they are a better fit for you? I personally think you would probably find a better match, but it is ultimately your choice."
That puts the healing ball into his court.
I would say you can't force him... no therapist enjoys wasting anyone's time... so I would make the goals you have in mind know up front so that he understands why you feel therapy is a good thing at this time.
I also believe in therapy burnout. Our eldest (only 7) did, and we took a summer long break with our move to a new state. She actually asked me last month to go back to therapy because she felt like she needed someone besides me and my husband to talk to.
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Our daughter came to us at 9 and had been in therapy (as a foster child) since she was 4. It read all through her report that no therapist had ever made headway with her. We tried a therapist for 6 months when she was first with us and the therapist suggested we stop. She just wouldn't talk to her about anything having to do with her personal life or feelings - even to answer her favorite color. Stopping therapy was the best thing for her. She started (SO SLOWLY) opening up to us. She couldn't trust someone she saw for an hour a week enough to talk to, plus she got a new therapist with every new foster home placement. Therapy had no meaning to her and she was burnt out.
yes- if your child has evolved to the point that this particular therapist is not helping them anymore I would say it is time to move on. Though I would not stop therapy before finding a different therapist you work well with. This is not an uncommon thing for children to outgrow their therapist so I am sure it's not the first time this therapist has seen patients move on for this reason.