Are some adoptees really fine with it?

I spent the past weekend with 10 old friends and acquaintances. Most of them are my friends on facebook, so they have read my blog ([url=http://returntotheriver.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/thegreatseal/]The Great Seal Return to the River[/url]) which is about adoption. They all seemed amenable to discussing it. I was shellshocked when I spoke to the first of them. "It's never bothered me. I feel fine about it. If anything I feel grateful that my birthparents were able to put me with a family where I could have a better life. She wasn't ready to be a parent." This one had been adopted as an infant. Between 2 and 5 years old her aparents split up and then got back together again and again before finally divorcing, and after the divorce her adopted brother lived with her adoptive father in another state. Her mom was single for a while, then married again, which was a rocky relationship. Eventually the new husband died of cancer, going through a lot of pain before their eyes. How could she possibly be fine with it? Even before the age of 5, so much loss. And, selfishly, how could she make me feel so alone and exposed? I felt that all my carefully gathered reasons and explanations for the ways that I had felt all my life were shattered on the floor. I thought about bitter arguments I could make, ways I could prove her wrong. But of course that didn't seem like the right way to go. The next conversation happened the next day. A cute redhead with all the personality in the world (and she doesn't wonder?). Same explanation, "I really feel fine about being adopted. If anything, I feel grateful that I was placed with a loving family who could give me what she couldn't. I don't think I'd ever search. My BROTHER, on the other hand, he did a search, and it seems to be a big deal to HIM." (bad adoptee...) Finally, the third adoptee I did not speak to directly, but i spoke with his wife. She said he really didn't think about it or talk about it much, even though he was almost 1 when he was placed with his family. 3 strikes. Since then I feel really angry. I didn't argue with any of them because I don't feel it's my place to tell them how to feel about it. But I am constantly arguing with them in my head. Everything I am reading and considering for myself has suddenly slanted into something to make a good argument against the ones who betrayed me. I know that I'm doing what I need to do. I didn't even figure this stuff out until this past year! Probably last fall if you'd asked me, I'd have given the same trite response. I had to hit bottom before I would get help, and take the time to try and figure out what was bothering me so much. But I still feel defensive, exposed, and alone. I don't like it. Any thoughts?