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I was reading a thread on the general board and I have to wonder. Would it be considered rude to compliment an African American girl or woman's hair? There was a six year old in my DD's acting class with beautiful braids and beads. I looked at her and said "Wow your hair is so pretty"
I don't think anything of this...however, after reading the post and the comments about people not liking people commenting on their children's hair. Of course that might be if people go so far as to touch it.
I'm just jealous because I have to keep my hair short because I never know what to do with it:)
EDITED for language.
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I don't think it's rude at all. I love AA hairstyles & I compliment moms of black girls a lot when I like their daughter's hair. Usually they're appreciative & it's a good conversation starter. There's a new person working at my gym's Kid Care who is black & has a little girl with really cute hair. I complimented her on it this morning & it led to a 15 minute conversation about our daughters' hair. I guess some people might not like it, but I'd view it as their problem, not yours.
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I don't think it's rude, but then again, I compliment people of all ages on their hair especially when it's obvious that a lot of time was spent doing it. I just did it yesterday int he grocery store to an adult. Her hair was in rows of braids close to her head than trailed off the back into a huge fall of braids. It was so pretty I couldn't help but say something. I figure if the person smiles and says thank you, they appreciate the comment too.
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rredhead: My oldest is 16. He's part of a peer group in high school. Last year, my district, which is very diverse, had some kids go to other districts that weren't that diverse. He said that CC girls would ask to touch his hair and comment on its being soft. The reason I don't have a problem with this is these kids aren't exposed to anyone different. That makes them curious. I never have a problem with compliments on hair but I have boys... My problem (and this will come from other blacks) is when hair is referred to as "good".
I hate the "good" hair comments because they always comes with " is he mixed" it is never left at "good hair" . also, when there are two children ( aa & biracial) what is the other child supposed to think when his brothers hair is " good" while he is just looked over. If "good" hair were ever just left at that, id be fine with it.
Good hair refers to the grade/texture and when hair is called good, it's closer to European hair than African; it's straighter as opposed to curly. Not all AA's will be told they have good hair and they won't all think it either. It's just another way to keep us divided.
ARoseByAnyName
Millie: I'm sure I'm showing my ignorance here, but why do you have a problem with others saying your child's hair is "good"? It sounds like a compliment to me, so I assume there is an undertone or significance to the word "good" that I'm not aware of!
Thanks for any insight!
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Twenty years ago, I was a presenter and attendee at an Adoptive Families of America conference. One of the presenters I attended was a black man who was balding. I can't remember exactly what the topic was, but the subject of "good and bad" hair came up. He said that, as far as he was concerned, "good hair" was any hair that stayed on your head and not on your pillowcase!
I don't have AA or biracial children. However I do have disabled children so I get the thing about complimenting one child and not the other. People tend to gush over my kid in a wheelchair and ignore the others. Granted I think all my children are beautiful, LOL. When I see more than one child together and want to compliment one, I am always careful to compliment the others as well. I went to middle school in Atlanta and was the only white girl in the school. I had long straight hair and lots of people touched it. I didn't mind if kids I knew asked, but it got annoying that so many did it without asking and some pulled which hurt. So I am very careful about not touching other people's hair. Though I love, love curly hair!