Advertisements
Any ideas for consequences or a way to help with behavior modification for stealing? Our 9 year old son (who was severely neglected and abused until he was pulled out of his mother's home at age 7) steals candy all the time, any chance he gets. We have tried everything we can think of and the behavior does not change. If he finds out someone has candy, he will sneak into where ever it is and steal it. He has figured out where candy is stored at all the relatives homes, etc. He's even stole candy from my husbands uncle who has cerebral palsy. I've tried using candy as a reward at home so that he is essentially getting candy almost every day to try and sensitize him to it not being such a big deal. I know it is totally normal based on his history of deprivation but I really want the 'theft' part of the behavior to be addressed and yet I don't want to be too hard on him since I know where the behavior is coming from. We watch him closely so he's almost always caught. I've had him write 50 times, I will not steal, taken away privileges, made him earn money to buy candy to repay it and given him additional chores as consequences. I'm just frustrated that none of it seems to be having an effect. It's like an addiction for him that he can't stop. He verbalizes that he knows it wrong, etc. but still does it. This wknd he stole tic tacs from my mothers purse. :( Any ideas? Thanks!
Like
Share
why not put a penny jar in your room so he has access to it. Put in $2 worth of pennies, and let him have an allowance of .05 cents a day so he can buy candy when he wants it...if he doesnt have enough money he has to wait till he gets it. The extra focus on money and letting him control buying candy might help.I wish you the best.
Advertisements
Does he have a therapist, have you discussed it with them? Since he knows it is wrong, maybe you can ask him how you can help him stop? Would he be willing to give when he wants to take (like if you gave him a bag of candy/tic tacs/etc and had him sneak and give a piece when he wanted to sneak and take a piece)? I bet he feels bad about himself if he can't stop doing something he knows is wrong. Maybe remind him that each day is a new day and he can always start afresh (I'm thinking of when I was going to weight watchers and they emphasized that when we goofed up and ate more than we should, instead of beating ourselves up about it and feeling hopeless and continuing to overeat, we could just start afresh the next day and be back on track, it was a very helpful idea for me).
Yes we have in home therapy - 2 counselor come to our home 1-2 times per week. We have discussed it at length, with him, tried multiple approaches. It's a long road to change those deep set behaviors .... we try to start each day fresh (on multiple levels). Any ideas that we could try would be helpful. He is slowly getting better, I do think we are on the right track but we are experiencing the whole - 3 steps forward, 2 back thing. :)