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I know of one parent on here who's gone through donor embryo adoption, and I'm wondering if there's any others. I hear it's a very "middle of the road" sort of parenting, with some but not all of the same issues that traditional adoptive parents face.
Hi
I have not been the recipient of donor embryos, however I have been the provider/creator/birthparent. My partner and I went o India to after no luck adopting. There we worked with a Gestational Surrogate and Egg Donor. We became pregnant on the first try, and we still had 20 embryos remaining (still not cryo.) And, as we sat in the waiting room, I could hear a h/w talking, tearfully (they had come to India to have IVF, however she had no ovulated.) Make a long story short, I felt for them, so basically said, "if its not too late for you to have a transfer, we would like to donate some of our embryos to you- day 5 blastocyst, fresh still. Although they had come to India in the hopes of having "their own" child biologically, they jumped at the chance (in fact they didn't even ask which of us was the donor, or where the eggs came from, they just ran in!) Being that they where day 5 fresh, they opted to only transfer 2 (the Doc was NOT happy, they like to do 4- keep the IVF rates high.) Although the Doc did say that it appeared that one of them looked like it had the potential for slitting, then they really only wanted two. In India, no contracts... no home-study, just transfer. In their country, like my own (the US,) the presumptive paternity doctrine is sufficient (honestly, a home-study for frozen embryos, I think that this is just a way for SW/adoption agencies to bring in business. Its silly, they are not even considered people (in the eyes of the law.)
Then, months later I get a text message from someone I dont know.... It is a picture, of two big babies and one 1/2 the size.... After 8 years of trying, they where parents, to triplets! However, they had only one U/S, and only identical twins where noted... Only two heartbeats too. I guess after the girls came out (c-s) the MD went in to get the placenta, and found the placenta to be rather large- and as he tried to help it out, when he felt under, a foot kicked him...Somehow, under the placenta, was another placenta and (as she put it) another baby sandwiched in, never detected!
Identical Girls, Fraternal Boy. I am so happy for them...
Now for the really incredible part- they had not intended on telling anyone they had "adopted" embryos, but the boy looked VERY different from his sisters... So, they inquired about the donor egg, and since its anonymous, I had nothing to tell them. I figured I could get blood type though. B+. I am A-. The babies where: twins B+, the boy O-. When they told me this, this was before I had told them the donor blood type. THIS IS WHY I DO NOT RECOMMEND INDIA FOR ART! Its impossible for A- and B+ to make an O- baby. Incredibly, the MD in India used eggs from two different donors when creating embryos! And, he didn't act surprised when I inquired about this, he simply responded, "they have a healthy baby, right?"
They didn't care, they are all related, sharing a common male donor, but two different female donors. OH- even better, I think the MD thought that nothing would come of this, but now that they are older (almost 8 months) their coloring is coming into their skin. I am 75% C, 25% mix of Thai and Argentine. The egg donor was suppose to be SE Asian. It appears that the ethnicity is incorrect as well. One egg was SE Asian, the other Malawian? Talk about a mix up!
BUT, they are gorgeous and the mom, is actually pregnant (I guess it is true, once you stop trying, relax, it will happen.... and her due date, on day before the kids turn 1.
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Oh,
I never even asked... are you looking to adopt again?
There are several programs in the Czech Republic, and relatively in-expensive ($4,500 for six.) But they would be "closed" adoptions, so if that is something you want to avoid, might not be the best idea.
Have you considered working with another couple, and sharing an egg donation cycle? It literally cuts the cost by 1/2. We where looking for another couple to do this with for quite a while.....
Wow, what a story!
We are content with the arrangement we have now. We have two more embryos waiting for us that we'll go back to at some point depending on where we'll be living. But even if this current baby is the only one we have, we won't go through trying to find another match. I'm ready to be off this roller coaster.