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Has anyone seen this 1995 movie? I sure hope it's not based on a true story because it scared the cr*p out of me!
I do have to say though that there were a lot of interesting and important points brought to light when it comes to transracial adoptions.
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Haven't seen it, but after reading the synopsis I can see where it might be a bit frightening.While not exactly the same, it sounds an awful lot like the decision my wife faced when she found our little guy abandoned in a closet in the hospital in Liberia where she volunteered. It's hard to get worked up about culture, race, etc at that moment, because instinctively the issue facing her was life. This little guy is literally going to die if I don't step in.The movie sounds similar in that the adoptive mom reacts to the plight of the abandoned baby. There isn't time to go over the do this by the experts checklist.I'm hard pressed to have sympathy for the birth mom. We all deal with stuff in our lives. The one thing I know for sure however, is that the minute you bring a baby into the equation, you are second place, with that little one being first. You don't get to crumble and fall apart. To me that's the contract you 'sign' when you become a parent. I know that's not how it works out often times in the 'real' world, but I also know it can be done.Sometimes when I think about all the correct ways we're supposed to do this with our interracial adoptions I stop and look at my little guy and realize that if we'd done it 'by the book', he'd be dead. Best move my wife ever made was saying the heck with the 'book' and stepping in and saving Matthew.Should by some quirk of fate the birth parents learn that he survived, even though they told everyone he was dead, I'd be happy to tell them all about my son, and all they missed out on. But he's my son, not theirs. They gave that up the second they turned and left him.Making a baby does not make you a parent. Being a parent is an entirely different deal.
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Guppy35
Haven't seen it, but after reading the synopsis I can see where it might be a bit frightening.
While not exactly the same, it sounds an awful lot like the decision my wife faced when she found our little guy abandoned in a closet in the hospital in Liberia where she volunteered. It's hard to get worked up about culture, race, etc at that moment, because instinctively the issue facing her was life. This little guy is literally going to die if I don't step in.
The movie sounds similar in that the adoptive mom reacts to the plight of the abandoned baby. There isn't time to go over the do this by the experts checklist.
I'm hard pressed to have sympathy for the birth mom. We all deal with stuff in our lives. The one thing I know for sure however, is that the minute you bring a baby into the equation, you are second place, with that little one being first. You don't get to crumble and fall apart. To me that's the contract you 'sign' when you become a parent. I know that's not how it works out often times in the 'real' world, but I also know it can be done.
Sometimes when I think about all the correct ways we're supposed to do this with our interracial adoptions I stop and look at my little guy and realize that if we'd done it 'by the book', he'd be dead.
Best move my wife ever made was saying the heck with the 'book' and stepping in and saving Matthew.
Should by some quirk of fate the birth parents learn that he survived, even though they told everyone he was dead, I'd be happy to tell them all about my son, and all they missed out on. But he's my son, not theirs. They gave that up the second they turned and left him.
Making a baby does not make you a parent. Being a parent is an entirely different deal.
Jensboys
I own it. It is not a true story.
Recent headline-making custody cases are echoed in this contrived, yet provocative book. Selma Richards, black, illiterate and drug-addicted, sold her premature baby boy Isaiah to Margaret and Charles Lewin, an affluent white couple, for $25,000. Two and a half years later, Selma has turned her life around: she is drug-free, employed, learning to read--and she wants her son back. But Isaiah is now a cherished part of the Lewin family and they will not give him up easily. Using the connections of her sympathetic reading tutor, Selma hires a powerful attorney, and a bitter custody case begins. What is in Isaiah's best interests? A strong cultural identity? Emotional and material security? Mystery writer Margolis ( Disappearing Acts ) turns a sharp eye on the legal system, the media and the less savory side of family life. Selma's pompous and self-serving attorney has his own reasons for taking her case. Charles unwisely begins an affair with a seductive co-worker. And Selma is pressured into adopting a deceptive life style. The message of the book is manipulatively delivered, some passages seem extraneous and the frequent switches in point of view are a blow to cohesion. Nonetheless, the story is generally engrossing and, to its credit, offers no pat answers to complicated issues. Literary Guild and Doubleday Book Club selection.
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Linny
Thank you for saying this. I agree with you completely. I have the movie; I watched it some time ago........and while I have a hard time remembering the specifics, I can say there are often far too many times the media portrays adoption in such a bad light. Too many people forget that blood means nothing when it comes to having a good, healthy family.
Sincerely,
Linny
It's been a long time since I saw the movie, but I didn't think too highly of it. It wasn't just that the little boy was taken away, it was the way they portrayed it as if everyone thought it was a bad idea, from the hospital staff to the social workers. The part where the black social worker accuses the adoptive mother of thinking she was "the great white hope" who thought she could save the little boy from his blackness, stands out in my mind. I know of other films, too, where someone tells a white parent, (adoptive, or a white bio parent of a biracial child ) that they can't raise the child to be able to deal with racial prejudice because they have never dealt with it themselves, when the very fact they are facing losing their child because of the color of their skin is prejudice! I remember wondering if the script for "Losing Isaiah" had been written back in the 1960s. I didn't know if it was based on an actual case but, if it was, the movie probably didn't portray it all very accurately. Most movies don't.Fortunately, I don't think the film was very well received. I haven't noticed it being shown on TV very often. I would certainly try to steer any young, or even teenaged, transracially adopted children away from it, because I think it could be frightening. There have been cases where black children have been taken away from white adoptive parents but, fortunately, they are rare, and I think usually involve something like a birth father's rights not being legally terminated. I think, as more and more transracialyl adopted people reach adulthood, a lot of the myths are being dispelled.
The movie is a dramatization. First if the book is as described, the adoptive mother bought the baby from the the biological mother..illegal. The movie played the race aspect, because it made for good tv. It is actually received quite well by minorities, because they get the need for cultural competencies. If one child of color has issues interacting and being received as genuine by their own ethnic group, yea something is wrong. However, there are also inaccuracies in the movie. I disagree with not showing this movie to tra kids. It's a good movie topic to sit down and discuss with one child, maybe certain topics can be addressed, as in accuracy, what is meant by not meeting the needs of a Black child,. etc; If a White parent is that caught up in the racial injustice against "themselves" Hopefully they are just as in tuned to the "full" needs of their adopted child of color. usually when one is disgruntled years after the fact, then they do not have a good grasp on the history of adoption of minorities, or (in this case) being Black in the US.The backlash against tra of Black children actually helped to place some focus on the needs of a child of color, and cultural competency of the adopting parents. [url=http://www.infozine.com/news/stories/op/storiesView/sid/50052/]Racial Identity Important After Adoption - Kansas City, Missouri News[/url]