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I would like to request a PM of adoption agencies that understand the issues surrounding military service. We are looking to adopt an infant in the US.
We have turned down by adoption agencies and US Foster Care agencies due to our military service and would prefer not to repeat that experience.
Some of the problems we face:
-deployments - two agencies stated that being eligible for deployments is a dis-qualifier.
- PCS's - three agencies told us that we were an unstable family due to the numerous moves.
- background checks - one adoption agency told us that since we cannot get child abuse registry letter from Iraq we are not eligible to adopt.
- base housing - since we are a family of two, we have quarters for a married couple. The agency is saying that our quarters are too small for a child.(state guidelines) They don't seem to understand we would be moved to new larger quarters once the child was adopted.
- State of Residence - numerous adoptions agencies don't have a clue what is the state of residence for military folks. They don't understand the state which you enter service, our current base assignment and temporary duty assignments in other states/countries
- Security Screening - numerous adoptions agencies don't understand the reporting requirements required by some jobs related to adding members to your family in the military.
- General bias - one agency told us that all military personnel has PSTD and are not good parents, etc, etc
Many have recommended that we wait until we retire from military service before we continue our adoption journey. We would prefer to adopt sooner, instead of our late 50s. We have been advised that adopting in our late 50s would be very difficult.
We appreciate any and all information.
Thank You
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I am active duty military of 20 years with no thought of retiring soon. My husband and I have one adopted son and in the process of adopting another infant (due 05MAY2012). In fact my son was born 21/2 weeks, in Philadelphia PA, after i deployed. Do not let anyone or any agency tell you that being military disqualifies you from adopting.
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I am active duty military of 20 years with no thought of retiring soon. My husband and I have one adopted son and in the process of adopting another infant (due 05MAY2012). In fact my son was born 21/2 weeks, in Philadelphia PA, after i deployed. We worked with an wonderful adoption lawyer by the name of Steven Dubin out of PA. This was after several failed adoptions and horrible treatment by adoption agencies. Steven and his wife Marci are adoptive parents and understand the stress. This is why when my husband and I decided to adopt another baby we did not hesitate to contact Steven again.
Do not let anyone or any agency tell you that being military disqualifies you from adopting.
My husband and I adopted our 2 children (bio-siblings ages 4 & 5) from foster care in CA. We were never told that being in the military would prevent us from adopting. However, we were told that most infants are placed in more permanent/non-military homes because the birthparents still have rights and visitation. A birthmother can't visit their children in you transfer across state lines so they are placed in foster homes that have less turn over and more chance of being around in 2 years when TPR occurs (social workers words).
A friend of our, also military, had 2 biological children before she became a foster parent. She was placed with infants because it wasn't considered along term placement. The infants were expected to reunify. When that didn't happen she adopted.
We just received a phone call from our SW this week (4 years after finalization) and the birthmother had another newborn taken from her. We were asked to adopt even though we are 3000 miles away (still military). We just need to wait to begin ICPC process after the holidays.
Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something because you're a military family. I've learned over the years that there are a lot of laws protecting military families. Do the research in your area. You have the same right to adopt as any other family. You may get delayed because of deployments but shouldn't get denied. Good luck!:flower:
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