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We are in the process of redoing our homestudy with a different agency, for older child adoption.
They require a TON of stuff, including an 11 page questionnaire about family, history, etc.
One question I found to be kinda inappropriate. Can someone explain why they would ask this?
-How sexually compatible are you and your spouse/partner?
You can chose answers from:
Not applicable, Compatible, Not very compatible, very compatible, somewhat compatible, incompatible
Isn't this a bit invasive? I understand them fully vetting potential adoptive parents, but "hows your sex life?"--really? How is that relevant?
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I have a feeling that some of them are taken from psychological tests - and one of the indicators of a healthy marriage/relationship is the sex life. Did the same questionnaire ask about how often you guys argue, or what your conflict style is, who handles the money, how you work together in regards to money - all dynamics of a marriage or committed relationship. I think they could probably leave that one off though. I don't think it would be a good indicator of other sexual issues (such as if one has a tendency to be oversexual which could impact children) because to one person 3 times a week might be right, while another thinks twice a month is perfectly fine, and that wouldn't really be very compatible, but both are in the "normal" range. I am sure most people just check compatible :D
That wasn't on our questionairre, but it was asked in the interview. It was something along the lines of "are you happy with your sex life?" She even laughed when she asked it and said "it's not like I really think anyone will tell me if they aren't." I guess it's to make sure there's nothing under the surface that could affect your marriage.
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I was shocked when I saw those questions on ours, and when I told a friend about it she guessed it was probably to make sure we weren't going to be swinging from the rafters or installing stripper poles!!!
My favorite question though was the ones about our outdoor play equipment. It had 1/2 a page on if you had a pool and all the precautions. Then, it had "Do you have a trampoline, and if so what are the plans to remove it!" That's the one that stuck in my head the most.
Not only was it on our questionnaire we were asked about it in our homestudy.. For us because we were going through the process of joining the Catholic Church we were supposed to be abstaining until our "Catholic Marriage" and when we told our hs worker this our hs was suspended until after our ceremony!! I was pissed but I guess it is because they feel like your marriage is not healthy and supposedly it throws up red flags for cps.. That was my experience so I would just say your happy and move on.
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Welcome to the world of fostering. You will find out you have no privacy and CWs feel they have the right to any detail of your personal life. Our questionnaire had really weird stuff too like how do you feel about kids that haven't decided on their gender/sexuality. Are you willing to let them explore this area? Will you accept a child that is transgender? etc...
BAC4343
Welcome to the world of fostering. You will find out you have no privacy and CWs feel they have the right to any detail of your personal life.
Our questionnaire had really weird stuff too like how do you feel about kids that haven't decided on their gender/sexuality. Are you willing to let them explore this area? Will you accept a child that is transgender? etc...
I am never surprised at the questions on a HS. When we did ours, there were some questions I just answered "I don't know". On that question I put "very compatable" and moved on. If the SW wants to delve further into that she can. I really don't have any problems answering any questions but that's because of my personality( I have no filters:arrow: ) I really don't know how they expect people to answer that one. I'm wondering if someone put " we are completley incompatable", what would a SW do with that???
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They didn't ask us any questions about sex for our homestudy. They asked us things about what we love about each other, our spouse's best qualities, why we'd make good parents etc... but nothing about sexual compatibility. I might have laughed if they did. Our homestudy interview was just about an hour and a half, and we did it together (not separately like a lot of couples). I don't know why it was so short, but it was very easy -- much simpler than I thought it would be.
That was on our questionairre and we both answered "somewhat dissatisfied". The sw called me at work to ask me details on why we said that. I told her, "well, ummm, we both, umm, wish we could have more" and was thoroughly mortified to be talking about that at work. It is supposed to indicate if you're not happy with your sex life that you might have disagreements in your relationship and that it might be overall unstable is what I was told when I asked why that was on there.Edit to add: sorry if my post is TMI. :)