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My husband and I have been waiting for an adoption since May 2010. I do know that in reality, it has not been a long time that we have been waiting compared to the amount of time others have been waiting. However, when you are waiting for a child, any amount of time is a long time. Back in May we were called in to our agency to meet with grandparents of siblings that were being put up for adoption. We were not chosen for those children. December 2011, the week before Christmas, we were called twice for special circumstance placements, asking if we would agree to have our profile shown. We agreed for our profile to be shown in both cases. Needless to say, our profile was not chosen in both cases.
Looking back, I know that God is leading us down the right path with the adoption. There are times that it is so frustrating to trust what he is doing. We want to be parents so bad and are so frustrated with the waiting and the disappointment. My husband and I have shed many tears. My husband and I were so angry at God during the Christmas season with the 2 failed adoption possibilities.
I just need some type of support system where I am able to hear from others who have gone through or are going through the same frustrations. There are no support groups around here and it would be nice to have others to talk to.
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This forum is great for networking and getting encouragment. The hardest thing is putting total faith in God and allowing Him to choose your baby. Easy said, right? We had a failed match with a 3 year old and we were devestated because we beleived he was perfect for our family. We have sayed in touch with family friend and the little guy is still in foster care and has a lot of issues we are unable to cope with. (We were refused permission to adopt him 19 months ago.) But God knew what He was doing - 16 months ago we attended the birth of our son and he is amazing. He fit so perfectly into our family. God's plan is ALWAYS best - even if the timing is not what we want. I know this is the easiest advise to give, but one of the hardest to follow. Anytime you need any support of encouragment, please feel free to PM me! God bless in your journey!
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I am still in the early homestudy process, so I can't say that I know how you feel. However, I can tell you that God will not let anyone have the baby that he intended for you. It is a long road that you have come and he will be faithful to help you complete your journey.
I am with AlabamaMommy, if you need any encouragement, please PM me. I will be praying for you, God Bless!
Marypat I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I are in the same place. We had a failed match in August last year and have had zero activity since. We've been trying to start a family for 6 years now. I'm so frustrated and weary. I will certainly pray for you and success in your journey. It comforts me in a very odd way to know that I am not the only one that feels this. I know God has a plan. I don't doubt that. But what other women don't understand is the pain that we feel daily going through things like this. My heart is with you.
I want to thank all of you for your kind words and all of your prayers and encouragement. There are so many times that we feel so alone. The adoption process does seem very lonely since there are no support groups around this area. There are support groups for those who have already adopted, but none for those of us who are waiting. The comments I have received from all of you have eased my frustration and helped renew my faith. I do know that this will happen. The waiting is just very difficult at times. As I have told my family before....I think the thing that makes it so difficult is that we have no control.
Thank you again so much. I will keep you updated on how things are going. God bless all of you!
Mary
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As frustrated as we are, I can't begin to imagine the pain and frustration that you are experiencing with a 6 year wait. I agree with you that God does have a plan. Sometimes I just wish that his plan and my plan followed the same path! :) I do know that HE knows what he is doing. The children that we have been called about, as we look back on the situations, we do realize that He was correct in not sending them our way....even though there was so much pain in another loss. I, like you, was so happy to hear from someone who actually can understand what we are going through. Unless a person has gone through this process before, they have NO idea the pain that is associated with it and the feeling of helplessness. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband and we both have wonderful, supportive families. If you ever need to talk, please message me. Take care and God bless.
Mary
I so know how you feel <<hugs>>
even though I have grown biological children, about 1 1/2 years ago my husband and I were talking about adopting a baby. My biological clock had ticked away, and I so so so wanted to be a mommy again.
I used to lay in bed, and cry and pray. Only you and people in this situation will understand the pain deep down, the feeling of wanting a child....
we chose the path of foster care. We have fostered older children, but wanted to adopt a baby. So we had to switch to the county agency, because our agency only gets older children, with many, many issues.
once we were accepted with the county, we made it KNOWN that we want to adopt, sooner then later. We made it KNOWN that due to our age we don't want to adopt in 5 or 10 years, but NOW.
of course we also would support RU, that is our job as foster parents...
we didn't have to wait long :) we got licensed in January of 2011, and our STAS came as a 2 day old baby straight from the hospital to us in May, 2011:banana:
WHY did he get placed with us? because due to the history of BP's it was predictable that this baby would also end up being adopted, just as all the other babies they had before him:(
so, we thought we were 'done'.... until we received ANOTHER call just 4 1/2 month later, this time for a newborn baby girl. Of course we said 'YES' to her!!
now my soon to be adopted son is 10 month old, and TPR has been filed. Our FD is most likely going to be our daughter soon too:love:
what I'm trying to say here, is, maybe GOD wants you to explore other ways to become a parent?
of course there are no guarantees in foster care, but if the agency knows that you want to adopt, and it looks like it's going that way, they will place with YOU first, rather then with a home that only fosters, but has no interest in adopting.
this got long, but I really wanted to share with you my thoughts and our path to become parents again.
I hope and pray that you will be blessed soon too.
never ever give up hope. And never ever underestimate the power of prayer.
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Our family will definitely be praying for you every night as part of our family Bible study. We are just in the beginning stages of the adoption process (finishing up the home study) and understand how invaluable prayer can be during times of doubt and stress.
Elliott
[url=http://snapshotsfromourjourney.blogspot.com/]Snapshots From Our Journey[/url]
Elliott, this whole journey is a trying process. It's even more trying when you see all of the children on the news who would be so much better off with someone like you. I know that once we are placed with a child, all of this waiting will be worth the pain and heartache. But it is a difficult struggle. Rich and I have shed many tears, but it has also made us stronger. We have been A LOT in the past 2-3 years. God placed me with the perfect partner for this journey and I know he will place us with the child we are supposed to have. Good luck in your journey. Please e-mail me if you need anything!
Mary
I apologize for disappearing for so long. We have had a few calls regarding special circumstance adoption possibilities over the past year. Unfortunately, they have all fell through. We have not been chosen as of yet. We recently discovered that one of the couples we were in training with has just had their 2nd child placed with them. Needless to say, last week was a difficult one. We are so happy for them, but so upset and heart-broken that we still sit with no promises yet. It is so difficult to keep the faith at times. I know in my heart that this will happen as my husband had an experience after our last heartache. I will share that later. Thank you all for all of your prayers, and know that I too am praying for all of you to have your placements arrive!
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We are not that far in to the process yet (only a little over a year), but I found this sermon yesterday and it was SO ENCOURAGING! SO INSPIRING! SO CLEAR AND FULL OF TRUTH!
I posted it on my blog so every family called to the ministry of adoption can hear it. I hope it is a blessing to you too!!
[url=http://mskatiesartstudio.blogspot.com/]Wholesome Harvest[/url]
Hi Mary, was just wondering if there has been any more updates? I will definitely be praying for y'all!! My husband and I just got licensed to adopt in Sept of this year after trying to have kids for 4 years. I can't imagine waiting as long as y'all have. I definitely know you aren't alone. When it does happen, what an amazing story you will have of God's faithfulness, and His strength and power to get you through. He is near the brokenhearted, always remember that. I too have shed many tears, and we've only just begun the wait. Praying God has mercy and sends you a kiddo soon.