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After a year of waiting to be matched with a fost/adopt child and after having a conversation with my social worker that makes it sound like my chances of ever being matched are hopeless, I have decided to give up on trying to adopt from foster care. It is so frustrating because everyone I know from fost/adopt class were matched quickly and went on to adopt their foster children relatively smoothly. However, because my licensing was delayed (partly my fault, partly the agency's fault), it seems I have missed the boat. Due to budget cuts in my county, children who in the past would have been removed and eventually freed for adoption are now being left in their homes with just in-home services. There are far more families trying to adopt the few children that are available then there are children, making a single woman in her mid-40's not have much of a chance.
I have been researching other options and have become very interested in the possibility of becoming pregnant myself with either egg donation or embryo donation. Egg donation has very high success rates (about 50% per cycle or about 88% after 3 cycles) but costs way more than I can afford ($25,000 for one cycle and up to $40,000 for 3 cycles). Embryo donation is very affordable ($4,200 per cycle) but has much lower success rates (about 20% per cycle or about 50% after 3 cycles).
There is a clinic in my area that has a program that is a hybrid of egg donation and embryo donation that sounds very interesting. Instead of using embryos donated from infertile couples who had leftovers after their own IVF cycles, they create their own embryos using both eggs and sperm donated by young, fertile adults. To keep the costs down, instead of giving all the resulting embryos to one family as is common in egg donation, they instead give 2 embryos each to 3 families. To further recoup their costs of attaining the eggs and sperm, they require that each family pay in advance $9,800 for 3 attempts at getting pregnant. Whether you get pregnant on the first attempt or the third, you pay the same $9,800. The success rate is about the same as egg donation (50% per cycle or about 88% after 3 cycles); however, the cost is comparable to embryo donation (which would cost $12,600 for 3 cycles and only give a 50% chance of pregnancy). If you meet their qualifications, they even have a money back guarantee that will refund the entire $9,800 if you do not get pregnant after the 3 cycles. I do not qualify for the guarantee because of my weight, but I like that they have enough confidence in their program to offer it. They are also under contract to provide infertility services to patients of a major local university teaching hospital so I trust they are not fly-by-night quacks who will take the money and run.
I know many folks here have tried other methods of building their families prior to adoption, so I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with either egg donation or embryo donation in general, or specifically, with a hybrid program like the one I described above? If so, I'd love to hear any thoughts or experiences you would feel comfortable in sharing. I usually live by the old adage "if it sounds too good to be true..." and this is definitely sounding pretty good to me.
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Pregnancy rates for women in their 40s using donor eggs are the same as those for the age of the donor, not the recipient. My understanding is that many times the problem with fertility in your 40s is not your uterus, but the egg quality. My clinic has approximatly 70% sucess rate for fresh cycles. I do want to add that although I was in my 40s, my doctor thought I had an excellent chance due to the fact I had a "proven uterus". Those were his exact words. It took me aback! LOL What he meant was I had sucessfully carried three babies in my 20s. Make sure you have all the testing to ensure you are a good candidate for this.
Private adoption is worth looking into. We felt we may have a long wait to match due to us already having three bio children and we are blue collar people who live in a rural area. We had few agencies to choose from, all being independant adoptions. A couple of them made me feel uneasy due to ethical reasons. You may have better resourses in your area. Something to look into. Before I settled on embryo donation I looked at every option open to us. In retropect, I should have been more patient with the fostering. However, I'm so happy I have my twins! I love all my littles!
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If you haven't already, you might post on our Fertility forums as well. [url=http://forums.fertilitycommunity.com/]Infertility, Fertility Forums, Message Boards, Discussion Groups. IVF, TTC, In Vitro, etc[/url] Egg donation is more common than embryo donation, but there are members on there doing both and they may have more information about this program you are looking at.
Good luck!
Thank you all for your advice. I have thought about private adoption, but scratched it off my list due to the high cost. I didn't know you could do it for under $10,000 as KAT-L has suggested. Even so, I'm not sure if I have the emotional strength anymore to go through the waiting to be matched (done that for the past year with fost/adopt) and worry about birth parents changing their minds. And as a single woman in my 40's, I'm thinking I may have the same problem as with fost/adopt in that nobody will chose me. Plus, I understand most private adoptions are open these days and that is not something I want.
I am really encouraged by LUVBEINGAMOM's success and the fact that her clinic also has very high success rates. I was concerned that the clinic I am considering was exaggerating their rates a bit, but it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like it really is that high everywhere with fresh cycles. And like LUVBEINGAMOM pointed out, my age is not a concern since I will be using donor eggs. I haven't had the testing done yet to see if my uterus can carry a pregnancy, but I have no reason at this point to think that it can't. I'm a little nervous about finding out, though, since this seems like my last hope.
DPLINE, thanks to the link to the other board. I'll go give them a look-see.
Jackie, I think there are a lot of good options that have been discussed here - some adoption, some fertility treatments.
One fertility treatment option not yet mentioned would be doing a fresh donor egg/donor sperm cycle in Europe. The cost is about $6500 - $7000 for the egg donor, her meds, and the IVF treatment with donor sperm. You would need to pay your travel and your own meds (about $500) and you could just go for the transfer (you'd be there about 4 - 5 days) doing your initial u/s with your local doctor. The success rates (meaning a pregnancy with u/s showing heartbeat) are between 48 - 65% depending on the clinic you choose. There are also frozen embryos from donor eggs available in Europe (lower cost, but the success rates are lower too). One factor in going abroad is that most countries with active programs mandate that all donors are anonymous only. There is more info about traveling abroad for IVF at [url=http://www.ivftraveler.com]IVF Traveler - IVF Traveler - Personalized, Affordable Fertility Options with IVF Abroad[/url].
Here in the states, getting donor embryos can be a bit hit or miss. But, it is worth checking into a few programs - Dr. Sweet in FL, Dr. Kumar in CA are two that are pretty active with programs for this (subject to them having embryos available). You can also check Miracles Waiting to find someone who is done with IVF who may be willing to donate embryos to you.
Wishing you the best with whatever path you choose to motherhood!
The program you described in CA we have looked into over and over. Ive talked w/the director many times and the success rates are awesome and so is the price for what you get. They have a vested interest in getting you PG the first time because their expenses are the lowest and profit the highest when you get PG the first or second time. Good program, ive heard many people online that have had good success with it. After careful consideration we decided not to go with that program because of questionable ethical boundries being crossed IMO.
We are now actively pursuing Embryo donation at a clinic in CA. Their program sounds very active, good price, good success rates, exc. doctor, and so far i have been pleased with them. Ive had the phone consult and now am on the waiting list. If you are open to multi-racial embryos the wait is less time, and if you are not picky as to eye color hair color, etc, the wait will be less. But as of now she said its about 6 months or slightly less. We arent picky at all about any features, so im hoping in 3-4 months we will get a call about some embryos. Its annonymous, although i was slightly disappointed because it would be nice to be able to tell my child about their origins, not just that your genetic mommy was 5'4" and daddy was 6' and they had brown hair and green eyes, and thats all i know....
but we've tried different routes as far as trying to find embryos to have a semi-open relationship with and because we have 2 kids and arent Rich, (oh my bad... I mean... "financially Stable" - which really means... Loaded, they just dont want to say that...) Good luck.....
So, this is the route we are taking and im hoping real soon we can get this ball rolling.
Success with donated embryos really depends on the quality. 20% i would say is slightly below average. Id say with Donor egg embryos the success rates can be as high as 45-50% per cycle if they are good quality embryos. The doc said he really doesnt want to say numbers until you actually have the embryos and then will tell me his opinion on success with the embryos that i have, not just a general #. Good luck to you, any more questions, feel free to ask....-Rach
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Thank you all for your responses and great advice! I wanted to give an update to my original post. I had an initial consultation today with the clinic described in my first post and now I am so excited that I can barely contain myself! It sounds like exactly what I have been looking for at a price I can actually afford!I start the medical workup next week to ensure that I can sustain a pregnancy. The doctor said that as long as my uterus is structurally sound and I don't have any large fibroids that would interfere with pregnancy, then I should be fine. He said very few woman are excluded based on the medical exam. My sister had to have a hysterectomy at my exact same age due to a large fibroid the size of a watermelon, so I am a little worried. I sure hope those things aren't hereditary!They will require that I lose 60 pounds before I can proceed with my first transfer. I agree that is a good idea and I am actually surprised that they aren't requiring more. Assuming I pass the medical exam next week, I can go on the match waiting list once I lose the first 30 pounds. I will be notified if a match is made, but will have to decline the match until the full 60 pounds is gone. My heart will break every time I have to turn down a match, but in the end, I think it will be a great motivator for weight loss. The waiting list is usually under 6 months and most people are matched within 2 to 3 months. Not that the wait time matters since it will take me longer than that to lose the weight. I'm hoping to be ready to start by next October or November.The way it works is that I pay a package price of $9,800. This entitles me to up to 3 transfers of 2 fresh embryos each. The embryos are created using fresh donor eggs and donor sperm. The embryos created from one batch of donor eggs/donor sperm is shared with up to 3 families. The success rate per transfer is 70% to 75%. If you do the math, that works out to about a 97% chance of getting pregnant within the 3 tries allotted for the $9,800 fee. About 55% to 60% of those who attain a pregnancy will have twins!I think this is definitely the program for me. I only wish I had known about it sooner. My mom passed away a year ago from cancer and a massive stroke while I was still waiting for a match from foster care. Had I known about this program when I first started my quest for a child, she may have gotten to meet her grandchild.I'm sorry this post is so long. I'm just so excited that I feel I have to tell someone. I decided not to tell anyone in my "real" life until the weight is gone and I'm actually ready to begin.@Rach - Good luck with your embryo donation! Hope you are matched soon and get a positive on the first try!__________________________________Fost/AdoptMay 9th, 2009: Attend first orientationJune - July, 2009: Attend PRIDE classesFebruary 2011: Officially licensedMarch 23, 2012: Close license after a year of no phone calls and learning that chances of being matched are slim.Onto Plan B:Pregnancy by Embryo DonationMarch 23, 2012: Initial consultation with fertility clinicMarch 23, 2012 to ???????: Working on losing 60 pounds to qualify for embryo donation programMarch 29, 2012: Preliminary medical exam to ensure medical fitness for embryo donation program
The egg/sperm donation is not that much easier task. The egg donor and the sperm donor are really the left over embryos at last. But under the proper consultation of the doctor who is an expert in these fertility problems should handle the matter of both the egg and sperm donation. The donors hormones should be some what coincide for the proper and the healthy result produced to them. It may not be a successful one at all the time. The doctor should be properly tested both the donors regarding their health.
[url=http://www.clinicafertia.com/]egg donation[/url]
[url=http://www.clinicafertia.com/]ivf spain[/url]
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The clinic we are talking about is California Conceptions- they recently raised their price to $12,000 for 3 cycles with Donated embryos. They really are not donated embryos though they are "created embryos". where as donated or adopted embryos are leftover from a couple who has undergone IVF, and is now releasing their embryos to another couple to use, California conceptions uses egg and sperm donors to "create" embryos for the recipients.
You do need to qualify for the "money back guarantee"
Your BMI needs to be under a certain amount, you may not have any uterine problems (fibroids, polyps,septum, etc) you may not have been thru a failed Egg donor cycle, and I think there is one more but I cant remember now.
The program has became very popular the past year or two, hence why they have uped the prices from what they used to be. The process is relatively fast- from other peoples' comments if you arent picky on the characteristics of the donors, and pick relatively quickly, you can be in a cycle in a matter of 3-4 months from contacting them. Sometimes sooner.
THeir success rates they claim are between 65-75% per cycle. Ive heard most ladies get pregnant by the 2nd cycle. You can proceed without the "guarantee" and do the same 3 cycles for $12K but if you get done with your 3 cycles and you arent preggos, then you just arent and you can certainly try again, you just dont get your money back.
Even without the money back guarantee its still cheaper than doing an Egg donor cycle. You get 3 attempts to make it work for $12K. BUT......dont forget there are extra charges in there also. The $12K is just the "base" price so to speak. There are also Meds, Psych Eval, and HSG and if you are doing your monitoring at an outside facility, you pay for that also. And travel if you are not in CA. THey require you to be there for quite a few days if i remember correctly, which is why we did not go with them in the end cuz i couldnt be gone that long, and I didnt like that they werent actually "leftover" embryos but were actually being created.
I decided on Embryo donation at a clinic in the Czech republic and am now 30weeks pregnant with B/G twins!! The cost was right and my DH and I got a really nice vacation out of it too!!
Good luck to everyone!!
-Rachel
rd200
I decided on Embryo donation at a clinic in the Czech republic and am now 30weeks pregnant with B/G twins!! The cost was right and my DH and I got a really nice vacation out of it too!! Good luck to everyone!! -Rachel
Hi,
I would like to share my story with egg donation. I think it is another alternative to adoption. I already have one adopted child(and I love her to bits) but I wanted to try to carry the baby myself, but as I was told that my only chance to conceive is through egg donation I decided to try it. After looong consideration and discussions with my family, I decided to try it at a clinic abroad as it is much cheaper and the reviews are very good. I have a friend in Prague, who advised me a clinic called Gynem, where I decided to go. I was very scared at the beginning, worried that it would be to emotional if it didnt work out, but at the end I am happy that I did it. The staff at the clinic - nurses, doctors were perfect, everything was explained to me, I was taken care of, all in all I was very satisfied and as a result of that I am expecting our first baby in November! I am sooo excited:)
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Egg donation has really become very popular due to its success. You can read more about it here
After a year of waiting to be matched with a fost/adopt child and after having a conversation with my social worker that makes it sound like my chances of ever being matched are hopeless, I have decided to give up on trying to adopt from foster care. It is so frustrating because everyone I know from fost/adopt class were matched quickly and went on to adopt their foster children relatively smoothly. However, because my licensing was delayed (partly my fault, partly the agency's fault), it seems I have missed the boat. Due to budget cuts in my county, children who in the past would have been removed and eventually freed for adoption are now being left in their homes with just in-home services. There are far more families trying to adopt the few children that are available then there are children, making a single woman in her mid-40's not have much of a chance.I have been researching other options and have become very interested in the possibility of becoming pregnant myself with either egg donation or embryo donation. Egg donation has very high success rates <a href="https://ifg-ivf.com/ivf-amp-egg-donation/treatment-in-ukraine">ivf with egg donation in Ukraine</a> (about 50% per cycle or about 88% after 3 cycles) but costs way more than I can afford ($25,000 for one cycle and up to $40,000 for 3 cycles). Embryo donation is very affordable ($4,200 per cycle) but has much lower success rates (about 20% per cycle or about 50% after 3 cycles).There is a clinic in my area that has a program that is a hybrid of egg donation and embryo donation that sounds very interesting. Instead of using embryos donated from infertile couples who had leftovers after their own IVF cycles, they create their own embryos using both eggs and sperm donated by young, fertile adults. To keep the costs down, instead of giving all the resulting embryos to one family as is common in egg donation, they instead give 2 embryos each to 3 families. To further recoup their costs of attaining the eggs and sperm, they require that each family pay in advance $9,800 for 3 attempts at getting pregnant. Whether you get pregnant on the first attempt or the third, you pay the same $9,800. The success rate is about the same as egg donation (50% per cycle or about 88% after 3 cycles); however, the cost is comparable to embryo donation (which would cost $12,600 for 3 cycles and only give a 50% chance of pregnancy). If you meet their qualifications, they even have a money-back guarantee that will refund the entire $9,800 if you do not get pregnant after the 3 cycles. I do not qualify for the guarantee because of my weight, but I like that they have enough confidence in their program to offer it. They are also under contract to provide infertility services to patients of a major local university teaching hospital so I trust they are not fly-by-night quacks who will take the money and run.I know many folks here have tried other methods of building their families prior to adoption, so I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with either egg donation or embryo donation in general, or specifically, with a hybrid program like the one I described above? If so, I'd love to hear any thoughts or experiences you would feel comfortable sharing. I usually live by the old adage "if it sounds too good to be true..." and this is definitely sounding pretty good to me.
Last update on January 25, 1:15 pm by jack austin.