Advertisements
Has anyone here who had adopted ever had to request that the adoption be disrupted or classified as a failed adoption? How is this done? Does a lawyer file paperwork to disrupt the adoption?--A family who adopted through the same agency I did has a child who is a serious danger to the community-he is breaking and entering businesses, has attempted to steal cars, set a fire on the neighbor's porch and is being suspected but not yet charged for an arson in which his caused someone's death. The parents are obviously at their wits end and have asked me about disrupting the adoption- I have no idea what to tell them or how one would go about it.
Like
Share
Advertisements
I am confused about why they'd want to disrupt the adoption. That's not going to solve the problems this kid is making. I understand being at their wits end, but honestly, a parent just can't stop being a parent because their kid is bad or giving them grief. Maybe a better thing to do, would be to show this kid some tough love and let the consequences happen.
They should be able to go to the agency on how to start these proceedings since every state works a little differently. Some states will charge parents with abandonment, for example. Or some will consider removing other children from the home if there are any.So that's why I'd recommend starting with the agency they adopted from who will know the best way to start and can help support where needed. Here is a good article that will help and I'll also echo Momraine's suggestion of posting in the Special Needs section as there are parents who have been through it and those more in the know.[url=http://library.adoption.com/articles/what-to-do-when-your-adoption-is-failing-a-parents-guide-to-adoption-disruption-dissolution.html]What to do When Your Adoption is Failing: A Parent's Guide to[/url]
they are considering disruption for a few reasons: one is because this child is at the very least facing an extended time in some sort of juvenile facility. placement there would happen through the juvenile court system. This would also mean that the parents would responsible for the cost of placement which is not covered by the county. They are worried that they will end up losing their house because of not being able to make payments on the house and pay for the county's fees. I have known other parents whose kids were in a juvenile facility for a much shorter time than what this kid is facing and they had to pay the fees involved so I think that this is a realistic fear that these people have. Another reason they are considering this is that there is a REAL and VALID concern for the safety of the people within this family and for the safety of the community. There are 3 other kids in the house to consider as well as the community in general. They feel like they may be sacrificing the safety of these other kids by keeping the one in the home.
Wow!!! That is so sad. I think they are going to have to consult a lawyer or professional group outside of CYS. I know we were told in our training that in PA they can charge you with child abandonment so I would caution them on who they tell this information too. Also, just by disrupting the adoption doesn't get them off the hook financially. The court may still force them to pay child support for this child. When you finalize an adoption, the court looks at you the same as if the child was your bio child. Sorry I don't have any concrete ideas of what the steps are, but please tell them to proceed with caution and seek legal advice.
Advertisements
Adoption issues aside, I'd strongly recommend seeking out a local NAMI group and some online forums for families with seriously disturbed children. Whatever his diagnosis is, there have to be plenty of bio and adoptive parents whose kids have gone down this path and who have tried to help the kids without going into financial ruin themselves. Hopefully they can find resources to keep themselves and the community safe and if possible help this child at the same time.